Let's Rock This Year's NFL Draft...Literally: A Musical Draft Preview

The NFL Draft is next month. By this point of the year there are many football-starved souls who cannot wait. Like a first kiss, the anticipation of the upcoming season and what it can bring, is usually better than the final results.

Just ask New York Jets fans. Was there ever a better kiss than the one Favre was expected to provide? And the Jets were left thinking, “That’s it? That’s all he’s got? Hmmm...I kinda miss the way Chad used to do it.”

The Draft is every team’s first date. And every team will spend time justifying why the courted, and eventually married, whomever they did.

If the relationship works and a new rookie star is born, the marriage is happy…at least until contract negotiations.

But if Prince Charming turns out to be a toad, or worse, Ryan Leaf, then there’s nothing but the NFL’s version of “Dude, I told you she wasn’t right for you...too high maintenance….” and an emotional, expensive divorce with the kids.....I mean the fans as the helpless victims caught in the middle.

There are always good times. The wedding is typically good. Every worthwhile wedding usually has a good, if not memorable, reception. Every worthwhile reception has a memorable soundtrack.

Here is the soundtrack for this year’s draft. It’s called First Round 2009: Busts, Broken Hearts, and New Millionaires.

These are the songs that should be played as each team makes its pick. ESPN needs something to drown out Chris Berman’s stream of verbal pauses. And, yes, to truly make these special, these should be put on cassette tapes. 

Disc One

1. Detroit Lions: “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” The Tokens.  

2. St. Louis Rams: “St. Louis Blues” Louis Armstrong

3. Kansas City Chiefs: “Going to Kansas City” Memphis Slim

4. Seattle Seahawks: “Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle” Nirvana. 

5. Cleveland Browns: “Cleveland Rocks” The Presidents of the United States of America.

6. Cincinnati Bengals: “Ridin’ Dirty” Chamillionaire & Krayzie Bone.

7. Oakland Raiders: “Because I Got High” Afroman.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars: “Take Me to the River” Talking Heads

9. Green Bay Packers: “No Particular Place to Go” Chuck Berry

10. San Francisco 49ers: “California Part 2” Mason Jennings 

11. Buffalo Bills: “Life in a Northern Town” The Dream Academy

12. Denver Broncos: “We Just Disagree” Dave Mason

13. Washington Redskins: “Money” Pink Floyd

14. New Orleans Saints: “City of New Orleans” Arlo Guthrie

15. Houston Texans: “Dracula From Houston” Butthole Surfers

16. San Diego Chargers: “Hey 19” Steeley Dan.

Disc Two

17. New York Jets: “Manhattan” Kings of Leon

18. Chicago Bears: “She Caught the Katy” Taj Mahal

19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: “The Ocean Breathes Salty” Modest Mouse

20. Detroit Lions (from Dallas): “Mammas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys” Waylon Jennings.

21. Philadelphia Eagles: “Streets of Philadelphia” Bruce Springsteen

22. Minnesota Vikings: “Dark End of the Street” Percy Sledge

23. New England Patriots: “Move B***c!” Ludacris

24. Atlanta Falcons: “Hound Dog” Big Mama Thornton

25. Miami Dolphins: “Karma Chameleon” Boy George and Culture Club.

26. Baltimore Ravens: “Dreamer” Supertramp.  

27. Indianapolis Colts: “Country Honk” The Rolling Stones

28. Philadelphia Eagles (from Carolina): “Broken Wings” Mr. Mister.

29. New York Giants: “I’ll Take New York” Tom Waits

30. Tennessee Titans: “Tennessee” Arrested Development  

31 Arizona Cardinals: “Shooting Star” Bad Company

32 Pittsburgh Steelers: “Closer” Nine Inch Nails

I was going to take the time to explain each track, but I’ll leave that to you. Create your own sound track and remember, the anticipation of the first kiss is always better than the kiss itself.