Manny Ramirez Says, "Maybe It's a Bad Investment"

Nobody bashes our friend Manny Ramirez more than I do.

People seem to think I eat, dream, and sleep Manny. I don't.

I eat nearly everything I can get my hands on these days (note the 15 pounds added to my current profile picture).

I dream of becoming a writer for the Sox, about my wife, or of going to school with no pants on (does anyone else have this dream?).

I sleep like a baby (naked and curled up in the fetal position), knowing that this goofball is nearly 3,000 miles from the Green Monster.

With all that being said, however, Manny has entered my craw yet again.

But this time, I refuse to say anything negative about Manuel. You decide.

Here is the recap of yesterday's game.

1) Played in his first game in the outfield due to two-and-a-half week salary holdout.

2) Played in only second game of Exhibition Season as his hamstring was tight, causing him to miss his scheduled first game.

3) Grounded out in his only at-bat and ran easily to first base.

4) Ran gingerly after fly ball that landed at his feet.

5) Stated that he "felt fine" on both plays.

6) Was pulled for a pinch hitter in the fourth as he aggravated his hamstring cutting off a double in the top of the inning.

7) Told reporters, "Age is catching up to me. Maybe it's a bad investment. I just have to be patient, that's what I've got to do. Only God knows what's best for me. I have to just try to get healthy."

8) Made Joe Torre's ulcer bleed.

9) Made Frank McCourt crap his drawers.

10) Made Scott Boras laugh all the way to the bank.

11) Made Jonathan Papelbon say, "I told you so."

12) Made Curt Schilling shake his head.

13) Made Dodger fans call for his head.

14) Made Barry Bonds' agent contact McCourt.

15. Made JetBlue cringe.

16) Made me eat yet another Twinkie, dream of life without Manny, and sleep more soundly than ever.

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