Welcome to Choke City: A Dallas Fan's Lament

Not again.

 

Without a doubt, it's one of the more heart-wrenching phrases in the English language.

First, 'not again' necessitates a precursor so odious that any mention of it provokes feelings of dismay, dread and derision.
 
Second, 'not again' means the initial event, and the feelings attached to it, has repeated itself at the most inopportune of times.

Finally, and worst of all, 'not again' means there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Not again.

  

Those two little words pack a lot of punch. I should know; I've been saying them a lot lately. We all have, and by 'we,' I mean the residents of beautiful Dallas, Texas. Because for the last year, our sports teams have conducted a collective genocide on our championship dreams.

The latest culprits: the Dallas Desperados of the Arena Football League.

A year ago, the Desperados were the toast of the AFL. They tied a league record by finishing 13-3 and were de facto favorites for the AFL title...only to ruin four months of brilliance by falling to the Orlando Predators in the conference semifinals.

Fast forward to July 7th, 2007.

The Desperado finished the 2007 season 15-1, relying on a high-powered offense and a defense capable of making big stops. As the team entered the playoffs, it was hard not to believe.  They were going to win, the thinking went, they had to.

The fans of Dallas were finally going to see a championship.

Or so we thought.

After setting the bar as high as it would go, the Desperados did the only thing Dallas teams of this millennium know how to do: They limbo-ed right under it, losing a first-round matchup with the Columbus Destroyers. 

The reaction in Dallas?

Not again.

If this script sounds familiar, it's because it borrows heavily from the story of the Dallas Mavericks. You know, the talented squad that won 67 games and clinched home-court advantage throughout the playoffs...only to become the first one-seed to lose a seven-game series to an eight-seed, falling in six games to the Golden State Warriors.

Things could be worse, I guess, at least the Desperados, second-round flub in 2006 wasn't as devastating as the Mavs' collapse against the Miami Heat in the '06 Finals.

Of course, I'd be remiss if I neglected to mention the rest of our city's sports outfits. The Dallas Cowboys, for instance, were in position to win their first playoff game in a decade this year, provided they hit a 19-yard chip shot field goal with Tony Romo moonlighting as the holder.

As I'm sure you know the outcome there, let me just lament how few sure-things there are in the world these days.

The Dallas Stars, on the other hand, climbed back from a 3-1 deficit against the Vancouver Canucks to force a Game Seven in the first round of the NHL playoffs...then rose to the occasion by losing the decisive matchup 4-1.

Even FC Dallas of the MLS got in on the act, taking a 2-0 lead into the second leg of the Western Conference Finals before losing on penalty kicks to the Colorado Rapids.

The total damage: 13 months. Seven failures. Five different professional sports leagues. Four number-one overall seeds.

Dallas may not be as inept as Cleveland, or as acerbic as Philadelphia but give us credit: As a losing sports city, we re certainly making up for lost time.

This piece, for the record, is about far more than missing out on an AFL title. In fact, this piece isn't really about what we've lost in Dallas, it's about how we've lost it: in the most painful way possible.

Every sports fan salivates for a championship of his own. When one of your teams is, or looks like, the new big boy on the block, you start hoping. Probably more than you should. This could be it!, you think to yourself, and you let your expectations reach a fever pitch...

And then if you live in Dallas, you watch your boys, and your psyche, go down in flames.

It's a brutal, disgusting, tragic type of downfall. And we've been through it seven times in just over a year. So even though the Dallas Desperados were gunning for a title in a second-tier league, their loss still hurt, and when I saw the final score on SportsCenter, two words came to mind:

Not again.

The predictable ribbing from the peanut gallery started shortly after the game ended. "Ouch, another Dallas playoff upset, read a text message from my friend Matt. My buddy Benji was not so kind: "Only one of your (Dallas) teams could have a meltdown like that! "

Ugh.

I'm sure they're celebrating somewhere in Columbus, just like they were celebrating in the Bay Area and Seattle before that. That's fine; they deserve it.  But next time you're watching highlights of another collapse in Big D, remember that there are real people 'real fans' on the losing end.

My friend Jason is so exasperated by Dallas teams that he's resorted to longing for mediocrity. "Let's just win the number-four seed every year," he said, "so when we lose, it doesn't hurt as much."

I can't blame Jason for feeling the way he does; I think the last 13 months have shaved a few years off my lifespan. At the same time, though, I've seen my Texas Rangers become more and more pathetic each season, and I know what I'm talking about when I say irrelevance stings worse than any playoff loss.

So I'll keep watching, keep hoping, keep believing in my teams, even though I probably shouldn t. I'll keep dreaming that one of them, soon, can vanquish the playoff demons and capture Dallas' first championship since 1999.

Because I can't... this entire city can't... keep watching them fail.

Not again.