Bill Belichick Finally Sits Down to Do an Interview with B/R's Newest Writer

Welcome one and all to my first ever article published here on bleacher report. My name is Daniel Williams and if you've never heard of me before now, you soon will. I felt what better way to begin my career then to report on my exclusive interview with the New England Patriots' head coach, Bill Belichick.

As I worked my way into Belichick's personal office in Foxboro, I have to admit that I was nervous. After all, I was about to conduct an exclusive interview with one of the most legendary coaches of the modern era. I know I had some questions, questions that I did not feel he would want to answer.

I've seen how well Belichick has been with avoiding direct questions so I knew if I was going to make it big here on bleacher report, I couldn't leave his office without getting the direct answers you people deserve.

And so began what might come to be known as the most infamous one on one interview a reporter has ever had with Bill Belichick.

DW: Hey Billy, thanks for letting me ask you a few questions that I just know the fans will be anxious to read about.

BB: Don't call me that.

DW: Okay, Would you prefer Bill, Bill?

BB: Let's just get on with the questions already, I'm a very busy man you know.

DW: Of course, my apologies. I suppose my first question would have to be about Spygate...

BB: Spygate! I just knew it was going to begin with something like that. Listen, I've already explained that issue in detail, is there really a need to beat a dead horse?

DW: A dead horse Mr. Belichick? We are in actually talking about an issue that you have avoided on countless occasions. Never have you truly gone into detail about the issue and when you have, your answers have come off as being quite dishonest if I might be so frank sir.

BB: Dishonest? What do you know of honesty? It was a violations of a rule that I misinterpreted, not a big deal, not a big deal at all.

DW: Was there any way you could have possibly felt that videotaping another team's signals would be okay? I mean, even if you didn't know the details of the rule, wouldn't it be common sense for you to know that doing something like that might be illegal?

BB: No, no I didn't. Besides, everyone does it! I'm tired of these questions already. Are you through?

DW: I can see that I'm upsetting you, my apologies sir. Let's talk about another issue. do you recall when Rodney Harrison was suspended for testing positive for HGH?

BB: Come again?

DW: Human Growth Hormone. Did you ever see Rodney taking HGH during a game?

BB: Again with the stupid questions. No, the answer is no. Rodney would never do that during a game, we know that would violate league policy. His HGH usage was always done prior to the start of the game, we wouldn't be foolish enough to have him do it at any other time.

DW: Fair enough, let's get to another question. How is Tom Brady's knee?

BB: As good as it can be. After he tore every ligament in it, few people know that he was involved in a serious motorcycle accident a few weeks after his surgery. He was side-swiped by a Hummer but thankfully managed to be thrown from the bike and land on his feet. I'm more concerned about the health of his ankle. Did you see him wearing the brace?

DW: Yeah, a year ago.

BB: Again with the sarcasm. Clearly you have no integrity at all. I do you the favor of granting you the interview and this is how you repay me for my services. I believe that is enough for one day. Good day to you.

And so, my interview with Bill Belichick came to a close. Although it might not have worked out the way I intended it to, I will say that it was a pleasure to conduct anyway.

Hopefully this breaking news will help put my name on the map here on bleacher report. Look for more fantastic articles from me in the future!