Some Things (Not) Overheard During the Early Free Agency Season

Time to put on your headsets and listen in on some of the chatter you probably didn't hear during the early days of NFL free agency.

Bill Belichick to Detroit Lions coach Jim Schwartz: "I traded Cassel for a second round pick.  How would you like Tom Brady for $5?"

New Broncos Coach Josh McDaniels to the press: "I'm completely confident in Ma-er-Jay as our quarterback going forward."

Kansas City GM Scott Pioli to Bill Belichick: "Oh?  You want the first-rounder too.  Well, Bill, how about we discuss those Spygate tapes you didn't tell Roger [Goodell] about."

Jerry Jones on signing Ray Lewis: "Well, obviously we'd want him to room with Terrell [Owens] and be a-um-positive influence on him as we move forward."

Bart Scott, after signing with the New York Jets, on the Baltimore Ravens: "I HATE the Ravens.  I only like the team and the players I'm playing with.  The Ravens are nothing to me."

Dan Orlovsky on how Houston will be different than Detroit: "Well, hopefully they're end zones are a little bit deeper.  Everything is bigger in Texas, you know."

New Tampa Bay coach Raheem Morris on the team's strategy in free agency: "We want to have our name out there so that the second-tier players have a place to play when the season starts."

Drew Rosenhaus: "I'd get Manny seven years and $100 million with the Redskins."

Redskins owner Dan Snyder on the team's spending spree: "Its just like when I played Monopoly as a kid.  I always went for the most expensive pieces just in case they produced any revenue."

Detroit Lions GM Tom Lewand: "We are taking time to evaluate all of the available wide receivers in the market before we decide which one we will overpay for the next five years."

Bill Belichick to Josh McDaniels on the topic of Matt Cassel: "You didn't see me sending Manweenie Tom Brady when he went to the Jets.  What makes you think I won't squash you like a bug too?"

Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis: "ZzzzzZzzzzzZzzzzZzzzz"

Byron Leftwich on what his season with the Steelers proved to his critics: "If nothing else, they now know that I can do the ugliest impression of a running back when a play breaks down."

Former Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner on his lack of a contract: "Brenda felt that the offers Arizona floated weren't in her-er-my best interests.  She's decided to consult Brett Favre on how to create a scene while making an exit."

Former Jets quarterback Brett Favre on his retirement: "I woke up today with an itch, but thankfully it was just an itch and not an itch to play.  I was ready to call Mike [Tannenbaum] and offer my services."

Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler on how he feels about his new coach: "$*@#&*"

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell on his pay cut: "It's not a pay cut.  I'm fining myself for failing to reach my goal of fining every player in the league for something."

More to come as the circus continues!