Mark Sanchez and Eva Longoria Spotted at Dinner Together

Folks, Mark Sanchez was spotted having dinner with Eva Longoria on Friday evening, and according to Brad Hamilton of the New York Post, "sources" have told him that the two have been spending plenty of time together this summer.

InTouch Magazine even said the pair went on vacation to the Caribbean together. Sounds lovely.

That's the news. Exciting stuff, I know. Before we move on, let's set up a few ground rules for how the rest of this article is going to work:

• Somebody is inevitably going to leave a "Who cares?" comment on this article. Sure, they won't consider the irony of posting that comment after they felt inclined to click on the article in the first place. They'll just think they are being clever. Let's all just let them think that.
• I'm going to avoid any sexual innuendos that incorporate football jargon. It's boring. I've already seen plenty of jokes about Sanchez finally "scoring" or "a pass he completed" or any of the other creepier ones I'm sure you can figure out elsewhere. Not going to happen here.
• No Tim Tebow. Seriously. He's a freaking backup.
• In no way, shape or form will I speculate that this will somehow help or hinder his performance on the field. He's a grown man, not a teenager writing love poems who can't concentrate on an exam. 
• No jokes about the age discrepancy, or any other previous age discrepancies in Sanchez's dating life. Again, a tired trope.
• The Jets probably won't be very good this year. We all know that. Using this news as an excuse to bang on that drum one more time isn't really necessary.
• Yes, Sanchez has accumulated quite the dating record. Joe Namath should be proud. Actually, Joe Namath should probably just stop sharing his opinion. One way or the other, I'm not going to praise or insult Sanchez on his lifestyle. It's his life, not mine.
• Yes, Eva Longoria is dating another athlete. Good for her.

Okay, I think that covers it.

Of course, now that I told you about all of the common cliches that accompany articles such as this that I'll be avoiding, I've realized I'm not really sure what else I should say about this. One famous person is apparently dating another famous person. I hope they are happy together.

Though since we all like to live vicariously through our athletes to some degree—and some among us more than others—I will offer up the following, borrowing from Mel Brooks' classic line in History of the World: Part I:

It's good to be the quarterback. 

Hit me up on Twitter—my tweets would never deprive you of key features like franchise fantasy drafts.

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