"Cool Runnings" Director Eyes Unbelievable Olympic Whale Movie "Beached"

I don't pray often. When it comes to the possibility of the movie "Beached" being made, I kneel reverently in front of my Tim Tebow poster amid a flood of lit candles. 

This is my kind of bad movie.

The Hollywood Reporter (h/t BuzzFeed) decided to make all of our days when they reported there is a movie in the works so amazing, it mandates explanation without a straight face. 

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Jon Turteltaub, best known for his work on Disney’s National Treasure movies, has come aboard to develop Fox 2000’s Beached as a directing vehicle.

Beached centers on a chubby 4-year-old child who falls overboard during a family outing, is raised by whales and goes on to become an Olympic swimmer. (No, it’s not the Ryan Lochte story.)

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If there is any justice in the world, this movie that has been in development since 1997 will actually grow legs and walk into production. 

I have two categories of movies that I enjoy. All you need to know is that "Casablanca" sits in one and "Weekend at Bernie's II" sits in the other. 

While Turteltaub directed a movie in "Cool Runnings" that rests in the good-good movies, "Beached" is already destined for my Netflix cue for movies so bad they make you smile throughout, like every made-for-TV movie on the SyFy channel.

"Piranhaconda," we are looking at you. 

I love the entire premise of a "chubby" boy raised in the wild. Just like 1987's "Walk Like a Man" with Howie Mandel, but with more Olympics and less wild antics. 

This movie simply needs to be made, because we already have the tag line: Life can be a whale of a time. 

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