Olympic Track Star Nick Symmonds Chugs Brews and Nearly Breaks Record Beer Mile

The London Olympics are well behind us, but that doesn't mean one of its athletes isn't still competing. Only, he has beer in his hands when doing it. 

TMZ reports US track star and owner of great ideas Nick Symmonds attempted to break a record we had no idea existed. 

Symmonds tried to break the world record in the "beer mile," which is different than the beer mistake, beer hangover or beer drunk dial, all of which we hold gold medals in. 

The "beer mile" mandates the athlete chug a "full-sized" beer prior to running a mile, and then doing the same at every quarter-mile mark there after. 

It may sound daunting to lesser men, but Symmonds has the endurance to do multiple keg stands and still skip around the track. The 28-year old did finish 5th in the 800-meter race at the Olympics in London. 

Sadly, Symmonds was turned away without the record, making this the saddest story since Ryan Lochte tried to read that one time. 

The record stands at 5:09 and our beer-swilling runner here finished in 5:19, amid cheering fans in Oregon on Tuesday. 

While we have never attempted a beer mile, we have attempted a beer hike, beer stumble and beer fall. All of which failed to bring a chorus of cheers. 

We applaud Symmonds for the attempt, but we can't help but think these two activities were never meant to walk hand-in-hand around a track. 

Beer is meant to be imbibed on a couch while stuffing one's face with insane amounts of food that comes in bags. 

Running a mile is meant for people who would never think of doing such a thing. Let's keep these things separate because it gets far too confusing. 

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