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Evil Genius Olympian Ryan Lochte Attempts to Trademark 'Jeah'

Gabe ZaldivarJun 5, 2018

Olympic swimming superstar and part-time rocket scientist Ryan Lochte is no dummy. 

The man who made a living from swimming in a straight line is making sure he gets any proceeds from his revolutionary phrase, "Jeah."

TMZ reports Lochte hopes to trademark the word that is nearly identical to the word "yeah," but a tinge more stupid. 

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According to the trademark docs,  Ryan wants to use the word on sunglasses, workout DVDs, gift cards, mugs, drinking glasses, trading cards, calendars, posters, swimsuits, swim caps, sports hats, and water bottles.

In fact, Lochte's already getting the party started on his website -- selling "Jeah"-themed tees, hats, and sunglasses.

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If you wear anything from his official website, we can no longer be friends. 

(BTDubbs, the website is as in your face as Lochte himself, playing music the second it loads. Please, never do that when you are making a website, because I never asked for an impromptu party with an awful tune playing loudly.)

The TMZ report reminds us that Young Jeezy actually started saying the word "Chea!" Lochte, something of a linguistic evolutionary genius, shaped that word down to the refined "Jeah."

Now that's a history lesson that actually makes you dumber and will stay in your brain like those college benders continue to stick around your gut. 

There is even video documentation of the magical moment Lochte opened his mouth and recounted the birth of "Jeah," a word that means "everything" or simply things that are "good."

Skip to the 1:00 mark for historical significance. 

With that, we now have a remarkable new word added to the already evergreen landscape of the English lexicon. 

Follow me on Twitter for more Jeah moments. 

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