A Case of the Tiger Woods Flu

Today, I have fallen ill with the flu….the Tiger Woods Flu.

Yup, as if I were a child trying to swindle my way out of class, I put on my best raspy sick voice, called my boss, and told her that I have come down with the flu and would not be able to make it into work today.

Luckily for me, my boss is the furthest thing from a sports fan and probably wouldn’t recognize Tiger Woods if he showed up at her door today.

I try to keep my obsession with golf quiet at work, and I’m just hoping that none of my colleagues put two-and-two together and realize that I’m probably going to be sitting on the couch watching Tiger Woods rather than suffering in my bed with the flu.

Although a childish thing to do, and in this atrocious economy, probably even a risky action to take, I just couldn’t help myself.

After all, how many times during the course of your life do you get to see arguably the most anticipated return in the history of sports? 

Based on how seriously my superiors and colleagues take their jobs, you would think that we are on the brink of curing cancer. But, we’re not, we are more or less glorified data entry analysts, and I don’t think the world will come crashing down at our feet if this all so ‘important’ data gets processed tomorrow rather than today.

Let’s be honest here, unless you are a doctor charged with saving lives, a member of the military or intelligence community charged with keeping our country safe or some other profession where lives and safety are your primary responsibility, is your job really that earth shatteringly important?

Here in America, we are certainly hard workers, which is a good thing. But, many times we cross the line between working hard and being insane workaholics, particularly in our larger cities.

Twenty years from now, I will probably remember Tiger Woods teeing off for the fist time after an eight-month layoff, I am absolutely certain that I will not remember what I would I have done at work on this day.

Hopefully, my decision to fake an illness today does not land me on the unemployment line, but, hey, sometimes you still have to take a break and enjoy life; and what could be more enjoyable today than watching Tiger Woods once again tee it up on the PGA Tour.