A Love Letter to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Dear Tampa Bay Buccaneers,

It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm sure you'll remember that, when we last saw each other, we weren't on speaking terms. Although, in my defense, I was always told that if I didn't have something nice to say, not to say anything at all. You see, I was simply being respectful.

No hard feelings, right?

After all, I still think about all of the fun we used to have and the great memories that we created together.

Remember the Super Bowl run in 2003? I know I do—like it was yesterday.

Or how about that new "Cadillac" you showed off around town in 2005? That was a sweet ride, even though it only ran good for two years because of its bad tires.

Oh, there have been other moments of temporary bliss, too. Like that one guy from Louisiana who caught everything thrown his way in 2004 but never returned to form afterwards. No one could ever really figure our why.

Or that other guy, from Nebraska, that led the team in tackles four years in a row. Come to think of it, why isn't he still here? Oh, sensitive subject? My apologies. 

But enough about the past. That's done and over with.

Let's look toward our bright future together.

I see you've cleaned yourself up and are determined to right your wrongs. That's quite noble of you, if I may say so myself. Oh, and for what it's worth, I really like this new guy you've got calling the shots over there at One Buc. He seems like a no-nonsense, down-to-business kind of guy. You know, the exact opposite of the previous guy.

I'm also looking forward to finally seeing some of the other upgrades you've made. I hear you've added a Red Barron, a Muscle Hamster and three really expensive centerpieces. They all sound interesting (and promising), but for our sake, let's hope they pan out better than Messrs. Louisiana and Nebraska from earlier, okay?

Speaking of panning out, I see the guy under center has lost some weight. And while that's great news for his waistline, it won't mean anything if he keeps losing games, too, will it?

And what's this I hear about Uncle Ronde? He's still patrolling the yard? Boy, he's a feisty one.

Anyways, I'm really glad that we have an opportunity to see each other again. I know that you have a business trip in Miami this weekend, but hopefully we can catch up next week when you're back in town.

Like I said at the top, it's been a while, and I am really looking forward to it.

All the best,

J.J.

P.S. Thank goodness you finally found your wallet—I was getting worried that it would never see the light of day again. 

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