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Darrius Heyward-Bey: Don't Stand Next to Him

Jarrett Carter
Feb 23, 2009

In the time it takes you to read this sentence, Darrius Heyward-Bey will probably have slapped your wife on her backside, stolen your identity, and converted a five-yard curl for 20-plus yards.

That’s how fast the former Terp is. And here I was thinking he made a bad choice coming out early.

Now I see the funny side. Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen just didn’t know how to get him the ball in his college days, which is a shame, because his most legitimate shot at an ACC title and a BCS bowl berth just ran 40 more yards in the time it took for this webpage to load.

You could question if he’s ready to catch and get tackled at the NFL level, but who cares? Heyward-Bey is faster than your heart rate at a strip club. And isn’t that what we all want out of life?

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Don't Sleep on These Offenses 😴