The Doctor's WWE Raw 1000 Recap: The 218 Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my weekly recap list. I always appreciate my loyal readers, but for those of you who are new, each week I recap Raw with a long list.

The entries are made up of equal parts observations, humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials, too, just because I get bored during them.

This week's recap is special for two reasons. The first reason is that it is Raw's historic episode 1000. This is sure to be a star-studded night as many legends are scheduled. As a long-time WWE fan, I may mark out several times if some of the rumored legends show up.

The second reason this recap is special is because it is the last Raw recap list I will be doing for the foreseeable future as I will be doing the Live Raw Blog going forward beginning next week. Read the bottom section for a special message

I try and interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the 218 things we learned, loved and hated from the show.

1. A new opening graphic for WWE plays. I like it. It looks slick.
2. Now we get the official montage for the 1000th episode of Raw.
3. I love that they threw in the girl who looked so pissed that Miz won the WWE title.
4. WWE's amazing video editing department strikes again. What a great video to open the show with.
5. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to the show as Justin Roberts introduces Vince McMahon to a big pop.
6. Vince looks truly happy. That might be one of the most genuine smiles I have ever seen on his face.
7. Vince thanks the fans, who respond with a very loud "Thank You, Vince" chant.
8. Vince brings out the guys who used to be the biggest thorn in his side, DX.
9. Another big pop for Triple H and Shawn Michaels as they come out in camo pants and DX shirts.
10. If you think about the fact that they can only do 52 Raws a year, the 1000 landmark really is something to be celebrated.
11. Shawn stops Hunter from doing the crotch chop so he can catch his breath, sarcastically of course.
12. Shawn says it feels like something is missing. I might mark out soon if they bring out who I think they will.
13. Triple H asks "Didn't there used to be more of us?"
14. Shawn and Hunter point to the stage and out comes Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and X-Pac.
15. AWESOME!!!
16. Billy Gunn still looks good. Maybe he could come back to WWE for a bit to help out the younger guys. I would love to see him back in a WWE ring.
17. A five-man crotch chop from the whole crew makes the crowd go nuts.
18. Rest in Peace, Rick Rude, the only original male member who is no longer with us.
19. Chyna is obviously not going to be here given her current employment.
20. Road Dogg does his amazing introduction for The New Age Outlaws.
21. Hunter makes a joke about everyone but him going bald that gets a big laugh from the whole group.
22. There is no better group of guys to get the crowd pumped up than the entire DX group.
23. Billy and Shawn argue over who gets to talk next.
24. A lot of jokes you can tell are not scripted, is making this segment pure gold to me.
25. Whoa! Right as Shawn and Billy go to say their line together, we hear Damien Sandow's music.

26. This is gonna be great.
27. Shawn says he wants to hear what Sandow has to say and Sandow runs them down, calling them degenerates.
28. I am starting to see some shades of The Genius in Sandow.
29. Sandow acknowledges that the five of them could easily beat him up, but he says it would make him a martyr for his cause.
30. I love how Sandow can't stand that they want to talk this over as a group.
31. HBK ends up hitting Sweet Chin Music on Sandow followed by a pedigree from Trips.
32. As a fan, I absolutely loved every part of that segment. I don't even care that they buried a guy I think is great.
33. They throw Sandow from the ring and celebrate before they hype The Rock and Brock's appearances.
34. CM Punk is in the new WWE '13 commercial.
35. Nice! Jim Ross is out after the break. I like his new flavor saver.
36. Rey Mysterio is out first for the first match. He is teaming with Sin Cara and Sheamus to take on Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho and Dolph Ziggler.
37. I'm a little surprised that Y2J and Ziggler are teaming since Jericho gave him a Codebreaker last week. I also thought Jericho was sort of turning face again.
38. Hearing Jim Ross's voice in the background is really great. Why is WWE not backing trucks full of cash up to his house to get him to come back full time? JR is the best.
39. I guess after seven intros I should not be surprised to see a commercial.
40. When we return from break we see Ziggler and Del Rio double-team Sin Cara in the corner.
41. Jericho tags in and goes to work on The Red VR Trooper.
42. I got sick of calling him a power ranger. I can't remember, did they go by colors in VR Troopers?
43. ADR tags in and keeps punishing Cara.
44. Cara hits a big DDT and he tags in Sheamus as ADR tags Jericho.
45. Sheamus runs all over Jericho and they end up almost botching the Irish Curse Backbreaker.
46. Is it me or has Jericho been involved in a few more botches than normal over the past couple of months?
47. Both men miss their finishers and Ziggler ends up taking a cheap shot to Jericho before Sheamus hits him off the apron.
48. Sheamus wins the match with a Brogue Kick to Y2J. Ziggler and Jericho will definitely be in a feud now.
49. That feud will produce at least one five-star match. Bet on it.
50. Am I mistaken or was Mysterio never once the legal man? Maybe he wrestled during the commercial and tagged out before we actually saw any of the match on TV.

51. The babyfaces celebrate as we head to another break.
52. Way to piss me off, WWE! Why the hell would you tell me gas cost $1.11 in 1993? Apparently, gas does not follow the 28-year rule of inflation.
53. If you don't get the 28-year rule, then you need to retake economics.
54. We go to a webchat with Charlie Sheen, who clearly would rather be doing something else.
55. Layla is backstage with AJ as she prepares for her wedding.
56. Awesome! We see Hacksaw Jim Duggan walk by, followed by Little Jimmy with R-Truth and Roddy Piper.
57. OH...MY...GOD!!! The hand Mae Young gave birth to is apparently all grown up.
58. Layla could barely keep a straight face during that segment.
59. Ha! Lawler almost called Bryan "Goatface." I forgot all about that nickname.
60. I don't care that we have seen very little wrestling so far. This night is for celebration and fun and it is the one show I won't criticize for lacking wrestling, as long as it stays as enjoyable as it has been.
61. Jack Swagger is out after the break. Brodus Clay is his opponent.
62. If there was one legend who would be perfect for this segment it would be The Godfather and his hoe-train.
63. I like the cheerleader outfits the Funkadactyls are wearing. Very flattering.
64. Between WWE.com, Twitter, Facebook, Tout, YouTube and Shazam we have more sites to keep track of than I ever thought possible.
65. Nice! Dude Love is out to watch the match from ringside.
66. Clay hits a suplex and splash for what could be his fastest win ever.
67. I was wrong, I want to criticize the hell out of this. I like Foley and all, but Swagger needs to be utilized properly soon.
68. We go backstage to see Trish Stratus showing Triple H some yoga moves. I like her as a brunette.
69. The rest of DX walks in during an awkward moment. They all leave except for X-Pac, who hits on Trish.
70. She looks less than pleased. Apparently, she doesn't like guys who have traveled to China.
71. We see D-Bry in the hall. Why are Daniel Bryan's groomsmen dressed in what appear to be hospital scrubs?
72. I guess the wedding is next as the ring is all decked out. Here comes the minister.
73. Holy Crap! It's Slick! They did not just get the big names for tonight, they got some of the underrated guys too.
74. Slick looks great. He has aged like Lawler, who looks almost the same tonight as he did when Raw first came on the air.
75. Bryan comes out in a white tux first, followed by the beautiful bride, AJ.

76. Slick is still awesome. His wedding speech is hilarious. You can hear Cole and Lawler cracking up in the background.
77. The two both say yes, but AJ stops Slick from continuing.
78. She wasn't saying yes to Daniel. Does she have a mouse in her pocket? Please comment if you get the reference.
79. She says the yes was for someone else and Vince McMahon's music hits to another huge pop.
80. This will not help his wife be elected if he marries a 25-year-old girl.
81. Oh wait, Vince says this is just business. He introduces us to the new Raw GM...AJ.
82. Um...what?
83. Bryan is stunned as AJ gives him the flowers and skips around him before leaving the ring laughing.
84. This is a twist I definitely did not see coming. I wanted Regal for GM, but this could be interesting.
85. AJ and Bryan chant Yes and No back at each other as Bryan destroys the wedding set.
86. After a commercial, Bryan is still in the ring and out comes CM Punk.
87. Did Punk lose a button on the title belt? It's missing one.
88. Punk rubs some salt in Bryan's wounds and Bryan declares he is the best WWE superstar of all time.
89. This brings out The Rock to a huge pop.
90. Rocky looks amped up as he comes to the ring.
91. The Rock waits for the crowd to die down before saying Bryan does not get to decide who the greatest of all time is, but the fans do.
92. Rocky stops Bryan from interrupting him. Punk looks content to sit on the sidelines for this one as the crowd starts a boots-to-asses chant out of nowhere.
93. Rocky calls Bryan by the name Frodo, which gets a laugh from the crowd. I expected him to make a short joke at some point.
94. The Rock talks about how he will be getting a WWE title shot at Royal Rumble in 2013.
95. I guess when you are The Rock, you don't have to earn a title shot, they just hand it to you.
96. CM Punk says he will be facing Rocky at Royal Rumble and he will beat him.
97. That would be a match I would actually be really excited to see. Nobody really wants to see Cena/Rock 2 because we all know it will happen at Mania where Cena will redeem himself from this year by winning the WWE title from Rocky.
98. That's right, I just called a storyline nine months in advance and I am betting I am right, too.
99. Bryan steps in and says he will be fighting Rocky at the Rumble because he will somehow win the title before then.
100. Rocky says Bryan is the product of the love affair between a homeless lumberjack and a oompa loompa and then he sings a song at Bryan.

101. Rocky wishes Punk well in his match before he gives Bryan a Rock Bottom to end the segment.
102. That was pretty good, but I think I am no longer a Rock mark, or maybe I never was. I just never seem to really care when he is out any more, because his routine hasn't changed much in a decade.
103. Sweet! Bret Hart is out to be the special guest ring announcer for the next match.
104. He is my favorite wrestler of all time, hands down.
105. Hart pays respect to Mr. Perfect, another incredible talent, before he brings out Christian.
106. O Canada, their home and native land! True patriots love in all thy sons command.
107. Hart's intro for the Miz was less than enthusiastic.
108. Christian takes control quickly with a shoulder block and middle-rope dropkick.
109. He pitches Miz over the ropes and then dives from the top turnbuckle onto him, possibly injuring his knee, since he was holding it afterwards.
110. After the break, we see Miz with a nice variation of a single-leg crab.
111. Christian is playing up the hurt knee after he hits a reverse DDT.
112. Christian hits a sunset flip for a near fall.
113. Miz hits a kick to the face for a near fall as he takes back control.
114. Miz hits the Skull-Crushing Finale out of nowhere to get the pin and the win.
115. Miz is the new IC champion, confirming my suspicion that WWE had no intention of putting him back in the WWE title picture right away.
116. Cole must have forgotten what it means to be a triple crown winner. Miz is a triple crown winner, but Cole got the definition wrong when he left out the tag titles.
117. We go to Charlie Sheen again. It is so obvious he is not up to date on the WWE product. He seems like he barely knows what the Royal Rumble is.
118. I really, really hope this whole social ambassador thing does not continue past tonight.
119. HA! Cole got cut off as we went to commercial. Vince probably just flipped his wig about the timing being off.
120. Commercials make me bored. So I saw "The Dark Knight Rises" last night. I really liked it, but there is no beating Heath Ledger as a Batman villain. Tom Hardy did good work as Bane, though. I won't spoil anything for you.
121. Wow! Regis sounds awful during his video message. I wonder if he is sick or he just forgot how to talk after retiring from his show.
122. Triple H's music hits, which must mean it is time for the Brock Lesnar showdown.
123. He is still wearing his DX gear. I wonder if the whole DX crew will save him from another beating.
124. We see a little recap of when Lesnar broke Trips' arm. I miss Johnny Ace.
125. Trips calls out Lesnar and Paul Heyman comes out first. Once again, he gets a way smaller reaction than you would expect. Did WWE fans forget who he is and what he did?

126. Heyman says he has the power to answer for Brock and he says the answer to the challenge is no.
127. Trips calls Brock Lesnar's manhood into question as to why he won't answer the challenge himself and Heyman calls him a child.
128. Hunter slaps the mic out of his hand when Heyman mentions his family.
129. As Triple H closes in on Heyman for continuing to talk about his kids, we hear Stephanie's music hit and she comes out.
130. She looks amazing.
131. She stares down Lesnar and tells him he cannot mention her kids ever again.
132. Damn! She digs deep with some of the comments she makes to him.
133. She slaps the taste out of his mouth after running him down like a pro.
134. Heyman finally accepts the challenge for Brock after being pushed to his limit.
135. He realizes how Stephanie played him right away and he starts talking about her kids again, which causes her to tackle him and start pummeling.
136. With a dress that short, she took a big risk that she might end up showing her assets.
137. Lesnar comes out and rushes the ring.
138. Trips gets Steph out of the ring before he and Lesnar lock horns.
139. Triple H gets the better of Lesnar and clotheslines him out of the ring.
140. It is good that Lesnar did not destroy him again. Now it looks like Triple H actually stands a chance.
141. We get a video from WWE '13 with John Cena facing Stone Cold.
142. Now we get a video showing highlights of the feud between Stone Cold and Vince McMahon with superstars giving their thoughts on it.
143. That was certainly an amazing run of shows for WWE when that feud was at its peak.
144. After the break we see Santino and Hornswoggle handing out Sheamus brawling buddies.
145. YES! The Fink is back!
146. Howard Finkel brings out Heath Slater.
147. The One Man Band Babayyyyyyy!
148. He is so ridiculous that I can't help but start rooting for him.
149. Slater says he is challenging any of the legends in the back to a no DQ match.
150. Whoa! Lita's music hits, much to the surprise of everybody.

151. She looks great as she comes out looking like she is ready for a match.
152. Lita says she hired some protection and the APA comes out.
153. You can't see it, but I just marked out big-time.
154. Slater tries to bail, but Animal's music hits and the legends who have beaten Slater all come out to run him back to the ring.
155. Lita hits a Twist of Fate on Slater before JBL hits a huge Clothesline from Hell.
156. Lita climbs up to the top and hits a nice moonsault for the pin. She still has it.
157. Ron Simmons grabs a mic and, much to the delight of the entire world, says "DAMN!"
158. We flashback to earlier when AJ was named the new Raw GM.
159. One of WWE's old interviewers is talking to Daniel Bryan about his failed wedding. (That's Sean Mooney - ED.)
160. Cole introduces us to WWE's 100,000,000th social media follower.
161. Whoop dee do.
162. For some reason, Fozzie Bear the Muppet is showing us a montage of catchphrases.
163. I have respect for the Muppets brand, but I am not a fan of WWE and Muppets mixing.
164. Zack Ryder is backstage with John Cena and Mean Gene Okerlund talking about GTV again.
165. The Rock walks up and he and Cena have a little talk.
166. Why do they think three months is a long time?
167. Rocky wishes Cena luck in his match tonight.
168. After the break Kane comes out, but his intro is interrupted by Jinder Mahal.
169. He brings out Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Hunico, Camacho and Drew McIntyre. He says it is time for them to take what is theirs after being given no chance.
170. As they surround the ring, the lights go out.
171. Awesome! The Undertaker's music hits to a huge pop.
172. He comes out in the same Shredder-style jacket he wore at WrestleMania.
173. Taker and Kane end up fighting everyone as they rush the ring.
174. They dispatch everyone before giving Hawkins and Hunico a pair of perfectly-timed Chokeslams.
175. They simultaneously signal for the Tombstone and hit them on Hunico and Hawkins at the same time.
176. The Brothers of Destruction lock eyes as the crowd chants "This is awesome!"
177. The two pose for the crowd as Taker's music hits and Kane hits his pyro.
178. Loved it. Loved everything about it.
179. The B-A-Star campaign is highlighted.
180. The main event entrances happen with about 10 minutes of scheduled time left, which means we will probably run about 10 minutes over the 3:05 time. Thank Jesus I set my DVR to go 30 minutes over.
181. Punk offers his hand to Cena after the bell and Cena gives him quick shake.
182. Dueling chants begin as Cena knocks Punk down with a shoulder block.
183. The two trade offense until Punk gets a near fall with a backslide.
184. Both men seem hesitant to lock up before Punk finally gets a hammerlock on Cena.
185. Nobody can seem to gain a real advantage after a few minutes.
186. Punk finally starts in with some strikes and they start trading shots back and forth.
187. Cena takes Punk down with a headlock.
188. I could see Cena mouth some instructions to Punk before Punk hits a belly-to-back suplex to take back control.
189. Punk can't seem to decide which submission hold he wants to use. He settles on a headlock. Kind of a vanilla choice, but whatever.
190. Cena powers out and they starts trading blows again.
191. Cena builds a head of steam and hits some shoulder blocks, but Punk reverses momentum and ends up hitting the high knee in the corner.
192. He mocks Cena's you-can't-see-me hand signal, but as he tries for the bulldog, Cena plants him with a slam.
193. Punk kicks Cena during the Five-Knuckle Shuffle and he calls for the GTS.
194. Cena pushes Punk into the ref by accident and after an AA there is no one to count the pin.
195. Cena realizes this and he tries to go get the ref.
196. Big Show comes in the ring and as Cena gets back in the ring he gets hit by a giant spear.
197. Show sets up for the WMD and Punk does nothing as he watches from the corner as Show knocks Cena out.
198. Punk looks like he doesn't know what to do, but eventually he starts trying to get the ref to his feet.
199. Punk is conflicted about what to do as he and the ref enter the ring. He decides to cover Cena but Cena kicks out.
200. Punk tries for a GTS but Cena grabs his leg and locks in the STF.
201. Show comes back in the ring and attacks Cena, causing a DQ.
202. Big Show starts picking Cena apart as Punk reluctantly turns his back.
203. The Rock's music hits and he goes after Big Show.
204. He hits a bunch of rights followed by a Spinebuster.
205. YES! As Rocky goes for the People's Elbow, Punk runs in and hits a big Clothesline to the Great One.
206. This is the kind of swerve I was hoping for tonight.
207. Punk hits the GTS on Rocky, which seems to upset most of the crowd.
208. I don't know if this will be a full heel turn or not, but I like it either way.
209. Punk takes his title and leaves the ring with a look on his face I do not know how to describe.
210. Lawler thinks Punk just turned on the WWE Universe.
211. Now that is how you end a show. Punk's face did not show any emotion after the attack.
212. I am very happy with how that ended. Punk turning heel is something I think would really be good for WWE right now.
213. Overall, I thought tonight's show was a little light on the actual wrestling, but I enjoyed the show a lot.
214. I am a long-time WWE fan and a student of the history of the sport, which is why this show actually appealed to me.
215. On any show but the 1000th episode I would have hated this kind of setup, but for tonight it worked really well.
216. DX reunion was a big highlight for me, as were almost all of the legends appearances.
217. I am really shocked that WWE regulars Dusty Rhodes, Arn Anderson, Dean Malenko and Ted DiBiase did not have any involvement tonight.
218. Now I am going to go watch the season premieres of Alphas and Warehouse 13. I hope you all enjoyed the show as much as I did, and if you did not get to see it I highly suggest searching YouTube for some clips.

Thank you for reading this abnormally long recap list. I also want to also say thank you to all the readers who have made this weekly series so successful.

As I have stated several times, this was done as an experiment the first time I did it, and I never expected it to catch on the way it did.

I honestly cannot put into words how much I have appreciated all the kind comments I have received as a result of this series. For those of you who keep up with the lists, I want to ensure you that I will continue to do them every week for SmackDown.

I hope you can all join me as I tackle covering the show live each week. I will do my best to bring the same level of coverage I have tried to deliver with these lists.

I also want to give a special shoutout to Natasha Farley, who crafted the wonderful image you see atop my recaps each week. This image will continue to be used on the SmackDown lists.

Again, thank you for making my experience here better each and every week.