What Each NHL Team's Fanbase Would Really Like to Say to the Team Brass

Everyone thinks they can do a better job than the front office. We’re fans: We’re loud, we’re proud and say dumb things at the bar when we become intoxicated.

From what we know, however, every GM in the NHL makes calculated decisions regarding draft picks, free agency and trades from an office rather than after a few cold ones at the local watering hole.

Instead of opening a forum for all of you to yell at your local GM, I’ve done it for you.

In each of the following slides I have a little one-liner that I believe represents the opinion of most fans in each NHL city. I realize that you all (or y’all down south) have opinions of your own and feel free to express them in the comments section—I don’t, after all, want to put words into your mouths.

I thought of doing a little spin-off of Bill Simmons’ Atrocious GM Summit, except for hockey of course, but after making up a few lines of dialogue I realized that, well, I’m not the almighty Bill Simmons and I won’t pretend to be.

My hope is that the following slideshow brings a little bit of joy into your lives before you tear into your local GM with the vitriol of, well, a die-hard fan. Having said that, if you do feel a sudden burst of anger or just are having a bad day and want to ruin someone else’s, please direct your complaints to the GM of your favorite team.

After all, their decisions screwed up your team, not mine.

Anaheim Ducks

“Let’s build a team around our superstars—NOW!”

Instead of building around a solid core of Teemu Selanne, Bobby Ryan, Cam Fowler, Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry, the Ducks went cheap with the supporting cast, and Anaheim was the sole team left out of the Pacific Division race.

Now Ryan reportedly wants out, Selanne is a free agent and the other three are a year older. It’s now or never for Anaheim if they want to win with their current core.

Boston Bruins

“Just let Tim Thomas go.”

Once a feel-good story of a player that had many peaks and troughs before winning the Cup, Thomas now just appears selfish. He has asked the Bruins for a year off and reportedly waived his no-trade clause in order to allow the team to deal him.

If I’m a Bruins fan, I want him out ASAP.

Buffalo Sabres

“Those free-agent deals better work out!”

Christian Ehrhoff: 10 years, $40 million

Ville Leino: six years, $27 million

Combined point total: 57

Signing two unproductive free agents: Costly

Granted, change is always difficult, and perhaps both players will stay healthy and play better in Year 2. Otherwise, management is going to hear it from the Buffalo faithful.

Calgary Flames

“It’s time to go young!”

Calgary was probably due for a youth movement three years ago, but they keep putting it off. Inking Dennis Wideman is (kind of) a step in the right direction, but he’s not young at 29, and the team can hardly rest on that move for the rest of the offseason.

Carolina Hurricanes

“The Staal boys better show up!”

Jordan will be joining brother Eric Staal this season after a blockbuster trade with Pittsburgh. The Staal trade, plus the Tim Gleason and Tuomo Ruutu signings show Carolina is serious about contending and eschewing a rebuilding phase.

Hockey fans in Raleigh will be expecting a postseason appearance this year.

Chicago Blackhawks

“Umm… about Patrick Kane…”

So Patrick Kane likes to get drunk. At Madison. With a lot of cameras around.

This debacle became magnified after the 23-year-old winger went scoreless in six playoff games last season. Hawks fans expect more out of him, or they’ll run him out of town.

Colorado Avalanche

“This young core better be for real!”

Matt Duchene and Erik Johnson better show up.

These guys, along with Gabriel Landeskog, Ryan O’Reilly, Jamie McGinn and Paul Stastny make up the core of this team and must produce more if Colorado is to make the playoffs next season.

Columbus Blue Jackets

“FIRE EVERYBODY!”

This isn’t really going to happen, but this team is a disaster. What the fans are really hoping for is to get fair value for Rick Nash.

Dallas Stars

“We need to make the playoffs this year!”

It’s been four years since the bankrupt Stars made a playoff appearance, but the last two years they’ve been close.

With some question marks in the division—San Jose, Phoenix and Anaheim—the Dallas front office needs to get the right personnel around Loui Eriksson, Jamie Benn and Co. in order to break through the playoff ceiling this year.

Detroit Red Wings

"Get Parise and Suter!”

In order for the aging Wings to continue their winning ways in the post-Lidstrom era, GM Ken Holland needs to make a major push for these two top-tier free agents.

Edmonton Oilers

“Just win, babies, win!”

Taylor Hall, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and now Nail Yakupov were all drafted No. 1 overall with the expectation that Edmonton could build a contender around them.

So far the Oil have been cellar-dwellers. It would help if the team had better defensemen and goaltending, but then again, defense doesn’t win championships. Oh wait, yes it does.

Florida Panthers

“Draft and develop better!”

First-round picks Nathan Horton and Anthony Stewart (2003), Rostislav Olesz (2004) and Michael Frolik (2006) are all members of different teams now. Florida likes having experienced players on the roster, but few teams can maintain their winning ways without having a strong homegrown core.

Los Angeles Kings

“Don’t screw this up!”

The Kings won their first Stanley Cup last season, and most of their core players are in their prime. If they’re going to gain any traction in a basketball town, they need to win again.

Minnesota Wild

“Stop wasting draft picks!”

After drafting four straight NHL stars in the first round (Marian Gaborik, Mikko Koivu, Pierre-Marc Bouchard and Brent Burns), Minnesota drafted four straight busts (AJ Thelen, Benoit Pouliot, James Sheppard and Colton Gilles), aren’t sure what they’re going to get from Tyler Cuma and traded Nick Leddy away for magic beans.

Things are looking better under new GM Chuck Fletcher: Mikael Granlund should make an impact this season, Jonas Broden and Zach Phillips have shown promise and Mathew Dumba could be the best defenseman in this year’s draft class.

Montreal Canadiens

“We need to score!”

Max Pacioretty and Erik Cole both had 30-goal seasons last year, but Tomas Plekanec floundered and PK Subban could not hit the 10-goal mark. For this team to bounce back from a terrible season last year, the Habs need to find undervalued scorers in the market this season.

Nashville Predators

“Keep the talent in Nashville!”

Ryan Suter and Shea Weber may be headed out of town, and after two straight trips to the second round, the Preds may be heading in the wrong direction after this offseason. Certainly there are bigger crowds and better paydays outside of Tennessee, but Nashville has something going now, and fans are catching on.

Losing both defensemen may start a domino effect and force the team to backtrack after coming so close the past two seasons.

New Jersey Devils

“Keep Parise in New Jersey!”

The reportedly bankrupt Devils are going to have a tough time keeping Zach Parise in town this summer. Detroit can offer him history, Pittsburgh can offer him a chance to contend and Minnesota may throw a boatload of money at him.

Parise is a great player, but we all know the Devils ownership will treat the team as a business first and signing the winger to a massive contract makes little financial sense right now.

New York Islanders

“Keep the team in town!”

With no Lighthouse project on the way, and arenas erected or being erected in Kansas City, Seattle and Quebec City, the days look numbered for the Islanders. Once a flagship franchise in the NHL, the Isles now play in a dilapidated facility in a city that does not want to fork over a hefty bill to build them a new one.

New York Rangers

“Don’t screw this up!”

Rangers GM Glen Sather was close but didn’t smoke the cigar last season. Well, actually he probably did. Either way, New Jersey is probably going to lose Parise and therefore get worse, Philly looks like a mess and we all know about the Islanders (see last slide).

This leaves Pittsburgh as the primary threat in the Atlantic. If the Blueshirts can win their division next season, they should be considered favorites in the East.

Ottawa Senators

“We need scoring!”

Remember the CASH line? Well, those days are long gone.

Erik Karlsson, a defenseman (albeit, a Norris winner), was second on the team in scoring behind Jason Spezza. Milan Michalek did have a 30-goal season, but the Sens need more production from their offense if they’re going to build off of last season’s success.

Philadelphia Flyers

“What are you guys doing?”

This team needs direction. Philly blew up the core a year ago, only to see Jeff Carter and Mike Richards win a Cup with the Kings this season. At the time it looked like Claude Giroux and James van Riemsdyk’s team, but JVR’s performance was sub-par and he was dealt to Toronto recently.

These moves have to leave the Philadelphia faithful scratching their heads.

Phoenix Coyotes

“Was last year a fluke?”

Shane Doan is reportedly testing the free-agent market, and Ray Whitney may depart with him as well. Talented young players Kyle Turris and Peter Mueller all left years ago, making it hard to believe the Coyotes, a team that may be on the move, will ever bring the Stanley Cup playoffs back to Glendale after a three-year run.

Pittsburgh Penguins

“This Crosby deal better work out!”

Nobody in Pittsburgh is going to complain about signing the superstar forward to a decade-long, $100-plus million-dollar deal as long as he stays healthy. That, however, is a big if.

San Jose Sharks

“Blow up the core!”

Blow it up. Deal Patrick Marleau. Deal Dan Boyle. Deal everyone but Joe Thornton.

GM Doug Wilson may regret letting young talents like Jamie McGinn and Devin Setoguchi go, but what’s done is done and San Jose needs to move on with what they have.

St. Louis Blues

“Let’s do it again!”

The Blues womped the Sharks last postseason, and with a young core (David Backes, TJ Oshie, Kevin Shattenkirk) and a savvy coach (Ken Hitchcock), this team should make the playoffs again and make a run at the best in the West for a spot in the Finals.

Tampa Bay Lightning

“What the hell happened?”

A year ago this team took a run at Boston in the Eastern Conference Finals.

This year they couldn’t even make the playoffs.

This team, with Vinny Lecavalier, Martin St. Louis and Steven Stamkos, should be a perennial contender. Can’t blame the locals for being upset with the brass in Tampa.

Toronto Maple Leafs

“Stop torturing us!”

This statement needs no explanation.

Vancouver Canucks

“What the hell happened?”

A year ago this team was on the brink of winning the Cup.

Last year they went out in the first round to an eighth-seed (albeit, a pretty good one).

This tortured fanbase has to be on their knees begging for the brass to correct last year’s mistakes. Things are looking shaky already, however. After having his contract extended, coach Alain Vigneault appears to be causing a rift in the locker room.

Washington Capitals

“Umm… about Ovechkin…”

No the Russian superstar didn’t get smashed with frat boys in the offseason (although he has been known to party with beautiful Russian ladies), but he’s not scoring at the rate he once did and ran coach Bruce Boudreau out of town.

Once an asset, Ovie still has good years in him but is becoming a bit of a nuisance in DC.

Winnipeg Jets

“Honeymoon period is closing!”

Yeah, this city is happy to have their team back, but the former Atlanta Thrashers had one good year to adjust from too much heat to too much cold and will be expected to make a run at the playoffs this season.

Tom Schreier writes a weekly column for TheFanManifesto.com.

Follow him on Twitter @tschreier3.