I'd Do Steroids and So Would You

So unless you live under a sports-free rock, you may have heard that A-Rod used roids, Tejada pled guilty to lying about doing roids, and Bonds once again lied about lying about doing roids. 

And let’s not forget that Clemens is a lying, cheating asshole.

But the media took the A-Rod announcement hard; there was so much hand-wringing and weeping over innocence lost. 

What was really fun to watch were the sanctimonious sports writers and radio hosts getting so far up on their high horses that they needed to base-jump to get down.

They were acting like A-Rod got caught punching babies, not shooting Primobalan in his ass.  There’s nothing better than morality lessons from the sports media, including the Ballpark (especially ABA; that boy just don’t live right).

These are the same people who would eat their own young to grab an exclusive story, and yet they can’t comprehend a professional athlete cheating for an edge?

Koufax delivers.

Look, I get why we care so much about steroids in baseball and couldn’t give a rat’s ass about steroids in any other sport. 

The numbers matter, the records are almost magical and every straight little boy grows up learning them.  Hall of Fame admission is based on set milestones: 500 home runs, 3000 hits, 300 wins (of course all of these now have to be adjusted for juice).

No other major sport is essentially unchanged over the last 100 years.  Mean Joe Greene wouldn’t have the speed to play big time college football now, and Havlicek would get his ankles broken in the D-league, but Sandy Koufax could still win 20+ pitching in the AL East (and he still wouldn’t pitch on Yom Kippur).

So yeah I’m pissed that steroids have tarnished Baseball and its hallowed records, but it doesn’t mean I can’t understand the motivation behind it.

Steroids in Pop Culture: A-Rod, Canseco, Rodman... She is 100% on HGH... and disgusting.

In my job I’m compared to everyone else in my company and ranked on sales performance.  Even if I’m exceeding my goals, if everyone else is doing better, I’m in trouble. Raises, bonuses and promotions all depend on my relative rank. 

If I found out that my co-workers were cheating in a way that wasn’t prohibited by my organization, and tacitly approved of by management, then of course I’d be tempted to do the same. 

Just about every job is judged relative to co-workers, and if the guy in the next cube is producing more TPS Reports he’s getting the promotion. 

We’d all like to think that we’d resist temptation and do the right thing, but it’s not that easy. 

This really isn’t any different from steroid users.  If a player can hit 35 homers clean but suddenly guys are hitting 50, 60, 70, then he’s barely a power hitter anymore, and he’s losing out on the adulation, endorsements and contracts. 

It's even worse if he’s being eclipsed by lesser players; imagine the former copy boy kicking your ass at work.  These players all have massive egos and competitive drives, and their every move is dissected by fans and media. 

They’re watching everyone inside and outside baseball fawning over juiced-up guys jacking moonshots, hearing how Sosa and McGwire “saved baseball.”  Is it really that hard to believe that some of them, or even most of them, succumbed to the pressure? 

And this is without discussing the minor league players just trying to get a shot at the Show.  I’m not apologizing for anyone who used juice.  They’re cheaters, they’re assholes and they’ll pay for their mistakes. 

I don’t condone it…but I can certainly understand it…

Katfish