Return of The Chamber: Part III—WWE's Very Own Bailout Package: HBK vs. JBL

Armageddon was the best pay per view last year, if you just look at the matches and not the build-up.

The World Heavyweight Championship match with John Cena and Chris Jericho was way above average (could be better) and Cena did a good job of making the most of his small moveset. He actually used his trademarked (and copyrighted) “Shoulder Block” (more like a Steroid-Ridden Flying Elbow/Forearm) only a couple times, and made his suplex variations actually varied that night, instead of just using a Fisherman’s Suplex fifteen times.

Other than that, Jeff Hardy won his historic WWE title that night (we’ve written too much about that), Matt Hardy won his match pretty nicely, Batista (sadly) beat Mr. RKO which featured interferences by Legacy (a good addition), and HBK got hired by JBL.

Wait, HBK got hired. Hired? This guy makes more money than about 99 percent (there’s got to be a millionaire somewhere) of us here at B/R. This guy’s the freakin’ Main Event. Doesn’t he have benefits or pension?

So, it looked like HBK just put himself in one too many storylines where he couldn’t save the day. I hated it the moment I found out, and hated it even more when JBL became the No. 1 contender for the Title at the Royal Rumble. But then came the promos.

The promos that followed the Raw that the Longmouth winning the No. 1 contendership were probably some of the best I’ve seen in the last year, and some of the best I’ve seen out of HBK, period. It required HBK to do something very few Legends can do at this stage: Play the Bullied.

No doubt, many could easily play this role. Any rookie face getting tortured by a veteran heel (think frat acts) would get away playing in this storyline. But, of course, Shawn Michaels is no rookie.

It’s more difficult to play the exact “worker” role because we all know that he’s the Showstopper and that he gets the biggest pop every night—flat out.

We know that he can’t be bullied, and everyone respects the guy. We’ve also never seen him back down so bad as he did now. No matter what people say, he had to work really, really hard to get all the fans over to pity him.

I remember in the beginning, he got no support, and got booed out of arenas—not because he was intended to, but because he wasn’t doing a good storyline. The fans eventually got HBK’s drift and went along with it. But, no other legend could have played it like he did, not with the emotion that he put us through.

Imagine Stone Cold Steven Austin, the Undertaker, the Rock, or Triple H playing this role.

No, although the heel could be different, no other legend could play it that well other than the Heartbreak Kid. I think many agree when I say that if he has one more good run, he’ll easily be considered the best Sports-Entertainer (counting wrestling skill) in history.

You could say the Rock could be, but unlike HBK, some of it went to his head, and most importantly, he completely talked down on WWE—a no-no.

In relation, let’s face it, the economy sucks. I’m fourteen and even I can’t get money out of my parents as much as I used to, and two years ago I got enough money ($85) to get a Motörheadfront row concert ticket at the Rosemont in Chicago (best concert ever). My dad hates Metal-rock! But, SNL (as always) cheered me up, and it seems like everyone needs, or was asking for at least, a bailout package.

Mr. I’m-not-a-fraud-even-though-the-evidence-is-out Blagojevich wanted one, and on the Colbert Report they were selling bailout packages to needy college kids (Hey, Assassins, I heard you’re our best customers!) saying, “Don’t worry, everyone’s getting one”.

Even Dr. House wanted one for “more Vike (Vicodin)”. Now that’s sad, because House is a doctor gets his Vike free.

If anyone watched WWE stock, they know it’s been doing worse than Kurt Angle’s luck with TNA booking right now, and it’s falling more and more by the day. I think they need a bailout package. They need something, some feud that could propel them through these hard times, don’t you agree?

Well, guys, it looks like the Heartbreak Kid saved the day again.