The Worst Bobbleheads in Sports History

Gabe Zaldivar@gabezalPop Culture Lead WriterJune 5, 2012

The Worst Bobbleheads in Sports History

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    At some point, we all lost our minds for small plastic statues of sports stars with over-sized heads that bobble. While that sounds ridiculous, we have collected the most insane from a myriad of amazing bobbleheads. 

    It used to be that you made sure you went to the game that featured a bitter rival or some star-studded team. Now we make sure to get our butts to the stadium on bobblehead night. 

    I have no idea what makes little statues with heads the size of Barry Bonds' dome so popular, but we can't get enough of them. 

    Rolling out so many means mistakes are made; beautiful, hilarious mistakes. 

    Some are so lifelike they make you cry a little bit for how creepy they look. Others are so ugly they really should be a member of the Miami Heat. 

    Here is where good bobbleheads go to die, in the Hall of Fame of Giveaway Fails. 

    The best thing about these atrocious mini-me's is that they are still treasures despite being awkward looking. 

    That's just my mad obsession with bobbleheads talking. Send us your thoughts on the worst bobbleheads in history below. 

16. Barry Bonds

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    This is supposed to be Barry Bonds, but they decided to go with a completely different head. You can tell this with the fact that the face looks nothing like Bonds, and the head isn't three times the size it should be. 

    Looks Like: Joyful Side of Steroids 

15. Allen Iverson

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    I don't mind this looking nothing like Allen Iverson because there are far more sparkling issues afoot in this rendition of one of the best scorers in history. 

    The basketball seems to be bedazzled and AI is clearly wearing dress shoes. These are the problems that need to be addressed immediately. 

    Looks Like: Baby Ludacris  

14. Carlos Lee

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    Back in 2005, Carlos Lee was a power hitter that could actually hit, and hit for power. Pretty handy if you needed a slugger in the middle of the lineup. 

    Oh, according to this bobblehead, Lee was also a chubby white dude with bushy eyebrows. 

    Currently, Lee can be seen popping up in an Astros uniform. 

    Looks Like: A Fat Vinny Delpino 

13. Dwyane Wade

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    This has more to do with the beyond awkward pose than anything else. 

    This looks like Flash is waltzing past you before he realizes he forgot to offer you second helpings of basketball. 

    I guess this could be how an uber-fabulous Wade poses when asked to, "make that basketball really dazzle."

    Looks Like: Official Miami Heat Ball Provider 

12. John Wall

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    This picture comes from the Instagram feed of Jose 3030, and one fan states that it looks like the evil doll from Tales from the Hood

    Once you see it, you can't get the image out of your head. 

    Looks Like: John Wall Evil Spawn Doll 

11. Shane Battier

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    This only looks like Shane Battier if you close your eyes and think of what Shane Battier looks like. 

    The only other part that scares me is that this smaller version of Battier seems to have gone to town on pencil shavings. 

    There is no other explanation for what that stuff around his mouth could be because it definitely is not facial hair. 

    Looks Like: Exhausted Tyler Perry 

10. Roberto Clemente

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    This bobblehead is shinier that Stan Van Gundy after a buffet. Roberto Clemente may have been one of the best to ever play, but he made for a horrible bobblehead. 

    I now have a very real fear of all things Clemente bobbleheads. There has to be a medical term for such a thing, perhaps Clementabblephobia. 

    This is apparently a very rare 1962 edition, via Live Auctioneers

    Looks Like: Bobblehead Eager to Murder

9. Steve Nash No. 1

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    Poor Steve Nash comes complete with a gigantic overbite and overall geeky look that forces you to forget him as a world-class athlete. 

    Kudos to Youdos, bobblehead maker. 

    Looks Like: A Nerdy Severus Snape 

8. Sir Barton

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    Here is a picture of a Sir Barton bobblehead, the thoroughbred who became the first Triple Crown winner back in 1919. 

    I think the issue I have is with the neck area. You know, the place where a huge and scary equine beast's head sits. 

    Looks Like: Beast from the Book of Revelation 

7. Adam Dunn

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    I can't stress enough how this list is really a collection of guilty pleasures. Yes, these are all horrible in some ways, but they are just tacky enough to make you want to run out and buy them. 

    With that, we give you Adam Dunn given the Miami Vice treatment. 

    My guess is they couldn't encapsulate Dunn swinging and missing on a pitch so they said screw it and went with this glorious bobblehead. 

    The Bobbles Galore info states this is from a 1980s Disco Night giveaway. 

    Looks Like: Smarmy Simon Baker 

6. Hot Dog Vendor

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    The Reading Phillies apparently have a real-life crazy hot dog guy that rides around on a fake ostrich. I would love more information if you all have some. 

    The fact that this is a real thing doesn't make this bobblehead any less ridiculous. 

    Looks Like: Harry Potter at an Ostrich-Hot Dog Party 

5. Dirk Nowitzki

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    Why so emo, Dirk?

    Basketbawful reports on this "bobblepop" that may be creepy, but is nowhere as creepy as the Steve Nash version that you will see shortly. 

    Looks Like: Emo Glenn Close 

4. Derrick Turnbow

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    Maybe it's the fake hair, but this Derrick Turnbow doll has me thinking the pitcher will come alive in the middle of the night and kill me in my sleep. 

    Or walk me on four straight pitches. 

    Looks Like: Marla Hooch 

3. Steve Nash No. 2

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    Oh, please stop making anything that bobbles in the form of Steve Nash. This comes courtesy of Basketbawful that reports on his bobble pop, a bobblehead that is also a lollipop. 

    It also comes with the scariest expression we have ever seen. Hey, bobblehead. The '80s called and they want their sexual androgyny back. 

    I have decided I need the full collection of these bobblepops and will make it my life's work like Indiana Jones' dad and his search for the Holy Grail. 

    Looks Like: Ahhhhhh!!!!!!

2. Larry Bird

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    Celtics 24/7 catches us up to speed on this Larry Bird bobblehead that was issued by the Maine Red Claws. 

    Apparently, they wanted to remember the passionate player with a bobblehead that looks more dead inside than Tim Duncan. 

    I have seen less blank stares at a Dane Cook concert. 

    Looks Like: The Love Child of Hall and Oates, But Without a Soul 

1. Roy Halladay

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    This is the Mona Lisa of bobblehead fails as far as I am concerned. First off, you have a wildly giddy Roy Halladay which doesn't seem right. 

    The mistakes don't end with his optimistic smile because, well, the glove is on his wrong hand. Not only that, but he is apparently throwing as a right-hander despite having the ball in his left hand. 

    So they have the ball and glove in the wrong hands, but he is in the middle of an incorrect delivery—I just had a mini-stroke trying to figure this out. 

    Let's just say they managed to mix Halladay and Jim Abbott together for the enjoyment of those rare few that have this gem. 

    Looks Like: Physical Disfigurement

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