Hockey Jesus: Sean (Avery) Of The Dead Returns -- Again

Reports of the return of Sean Avery to the New York Rangers are popping up all over the place. They started in The New York Post and The New York Times and since have spread like wildfire.

A month ago, the gossip about Sean Avery was that his career was dead, he would never play in the NHL again, he was suspended indefinitely, the Dallas Stars did not want him back, and no other team would want him.

Avery was pronounced dead once before, at the end of the play-off series with the Pittsburgh Penguins, when he was hospitalized after a game with a fractured spleen.

Apparently he has arisen from the dead a second time.

Unlike former "Basketball Jesus" Larry Bird, Sean Avery has not been called Hockey Jesus until now.   He has been called "Hockey's Hellraiser" for leading the league in penalties and playing the role of agitator, instigator, or catalyst.  He has been demonized recently, for nasty comments he made to a TV camera.

At 28, in anger management or behaviour modification, he is attempting to get some focus in his life as he apolozes to ex-girlfriends, especially the Hollywood actress Elisha Cuthbert, most famous for her role as Kim Bauer, Jack Bauer's daughter, on 24.

Sean Avery is settling his various issues with his coach and team in Dallas, Texas. At the same time, former fans have turned on him, filling blogs with comments that make him sound like a zombie.

Joseph Campbell in his popular book, The Hero With A Thousand Faces, traced the images of heroes, and identified the stages many have gone through. His work was inspired by Lord Raglan, in The Hero (1936).

Raglan classified the parallel life-patterns of the mythical hero of tradition into twenty-two archetypal incidents, known as Lord Raglan's Scale.
    1.    The hero's mother is a royal virgin
    2.    His father is a king and
    3.    often a near relative of the mother, but
    4.    the circumstances of his conception are unusual, and
    5.    he is also reputed to be the son of a god
    6.    at birth an attempt is made, usually by his father or maternal grandfather, to kill him, but
    7.    He is spirited away, and
    8.    Reared by foster-parents in a far country
    9.    We are told nothing of his childhood, but
    10.    On reaching manhood he returns or goes to his future kingdom.
    11.    After a victory over the king and or giant, dragon, or wild beast
    12.    He marries a princess, often the daughter of his predecessor and
    13.    becomes king
    14.    For a time he reigns uneventfully and
    15.    Prescribes laws but
    16.    later loses favor with the gods and or his people and
    17.    Is driven from from the throne and the city after which
    18.    He meets with a mysterious death
    19.    often at the top of a hill.
    20.    his children, if any, do not succeed him.
    21.    his body is not buried, but nevertheless
    22.    he has one or more holy sepulchres.

Here are some of the scores of the heroes of tradition, just handed to me: Oedipus scores 21 and Theseus scores 20; it's Moses, 20, and Dionysus, 19. Jesus scores 19. Romulus and Perseus scored 18. It's Hercules, 17 and Jason, 15; Robin Hood 13 and Apollo 11.

How does Avery score?
    1.    Sean Avery was born in Pickering, the home of Canada's biggest nuclear power generating station. That's unusual.
    2.    We know he spent his childhood playing hockey in Scarborough, Kitcher, and Cole Harbour, and he jumped from house league to Triple A. That's about it.
    3.    His father, Al Avery, played hockey for Laurentian University and then became a teacher of students with special needs.
    4.    Sean was spirited away at age 16 to play Jr. A in the Ontario Hockey League.
    5.    He was billeted by families in Owen Sound while he played for the Platers.
    6.    After going unnoticed in the NHL Entry Draft, he won a job on the Stanley Cup champion Detroit Red Wings.
    7.    He had many victories over the giants and wild beasts, or enforcers, on other NHL teams, and led the league in penalties for years.
    8.    He dated the daughter of Jack Bauer.
    9.    He became one of the L.A. Kings.
    10.    The Avery Rule for unsportsmanlike conduct was named for him, after he tormented the Devils' goaltender.
    11.    After being in Vogue, he was out of vogue, for certain controversial comments made to the media.
    12.    He was suspended by the NHL and not invited back to the Dallas Stars.
    13.    He has been mysteriously silent while undergoing anger management.
    14.    His NHL team is in Dallas, home of the infamous grassy knoll, where, as the Billy Joel song says, "JFK was blown away".
    15.    He has no children.
    16.    He has not been buried.

Sean Avery scores only 16, which puts him between Hercules and Robin Hood, so maybe he should not be called Hockey Jesus.

(He scored 15 for the Rangers.)