Report: Shaquille O'Neal Leaves NBA for WWE Career (Humor)

The shocker of all shockers has finally happened. Phoenix Suns' Center Shaquille O'Neal has decided to opt out of his current NBA contract to pursue his secret passion, wrestling. And the WWE has been nice enough to give him a contract.

His wrestling deal is worth triple his NBA contract, go figure. WWE Chairman Vince McMahon is quoted as saying, "Shaquille has done well in the NBA, movies, and TV shows he has been a part of. I saw potential in him as a wrestler since the beginning."

"I have seen the way he hits the opposition with elbows to the face and shakes his head to get sweat in their eye. He is a valued member of the WWE roster and a huge pickup for us."

McMahon tried to give O'Neal a new WWE name as company policy. All WWE entertainers since the start of 2008 have had a name change. Shaq's new name would have been "The Q."

O'Neal quickly turned it down and said if McMahon wishes to live he would let him be named Shaq. So he did, and Shaq is now scheduled to take on former Oakland Raiders star and self made millionaire John Bradshaw Layfield at Wrestlemania XXV.

Shaq had mentioned he was still tired of Los Angeles guard Kobe Bryant, and wanted to rap but had nothing planned at the time. He also mentioned his secret hatred for Canadians.

Shaq purposely failed to mention teammate Steve Nash is one of Canada's favorite sons.

The big man has been busy ever since opting out of his NBA contract, including a new tell-all book. The book is entitled P's and Q's: A Shaquille O'Neal story. It will be on newsstands soon, along with "Shaq Scrabble."

Although Shaq still wants to be a police sheriff, as he has mentioned several times, he will be security at WWE shows after he wrestles.

Shaq needs to remember he is not supposed to really hurt anyone which one anonymous trainer in FCW states. FCW is WWE's training ground for their new young superstars.

The trainer also said Shaq needs to remember that when he goes for a clothesline he is not supposed to actually knock a man's head off. He will learn, but for now he is still a bit green.

Shaq's agent Perry Rogers said, "It is clear to me Shaq has lost his mind. A lawsuit will surely come," which assures all of us, I am sure, that Shaq will do well.