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Duke Really Sucks

Bare Knucks
Feb 1, 2009

In the last 30 years, there has been only one Duke player on a NBA Championship roster.

Duke basketball represents all that is evil with our small little world.

Turn on any Duke game and youโ€™ll see a bunch of raving idiots wearing blue and white screaming for their Blue Devils. The most intriguing aspect of these โ€˜Cameron Craziesโ€™ is their uncanny ability to match the d-bagness of the fans with the players.

Imagine the โ€˜Cameron Craziesโ€™ going head to head in a brawl with some Boston College fans. Talk about a lot of slaps, scrapes, and hair-pulling accompanied with constants yelps of โ€œBitch!โ€

As you watch any Duke game, every announcer will let you know how amazing the school truly is.

Thanks for the all reminders, considering the school hasnโ€™t won a National Championship since 2001, although they continue to get All-Americans every year.


The sad part is that Duke doesnโ€™t even have to pick up a phone to get these All-Americans. They are simply drawn to the school so that they can continue their annoying ways.

Then the announcers will be sure to remind you of how awesome they really are.

Yeah, whatever.

Duke loves to groom their players into outstanding professional athletes, like Christian Lattener, Jay Williams, Roshown McLeod, JJ Reddick, Josh McRoberts, Trajan Langdon, Shelden Williams, Chris Carrawell, and my favorite, Cherokee Parks.

Duke has one reputation that I truly enjoy and thatโ€™s their ability to breed NBA flops one after another.

Iโ€™ll drink to that.

Hereโ€™s a little ammo for you if you run into a Duke fanboy

In the last 30 years, there has been only one Duke player on a NBA Championship roster.

Side noteโ€”I didnโ€™t even bother to check after 30 years, because thatโ€™s just embarrassing. You can verify this stat for yourself at www.basketball-reference.com