Who's WORSE?: LeBron or Kobe?

The NBA is an amazing sports league, filled with action, excitement and people who are larger IN life as well as larger THAN life.

What's even more amazing is the blindness that glazes over people's senses of reality when it comes to their favorite players.  Every time I plow through the sports pages and web pages, there's inevitably a "Who's Better?:  LeBron or Kobe?" article. 

Like a moth to the flame, I'm drawn in hoping the writer has some incredible insight that I have not had access to yet.

Nearly every time, I'm disappointed.

So instead, I'm going to point out what I dislike about both players.  This should at least be interesting in the number of heated replies I generate.

So here goes.

1) Potential Felonies - I think Kobe has this one hands down, as he was accused of rape, while LeBron was only busted for driving over 100 mph. And let's face it, even though she seemed to be making a big deal with little or no evidence...the national attention wasn't good.

Didn't they settle out of court?  Either way, Kobe; keep it in your pants. LeBron, take some of the lead out of your new shoes. While neither of our boys here measure up to Ray Lewis and suspicions of murder and cover-up, there has to be a loser...and the loser is Kobe.

Loser - Kobe

2) Family Matters - Ironically this one is tied to our first topic and planetoid-sized rock Kobe had to buy for his woman after the announcement of the rape accusations. In essence, she was showing off one of Kobe's nuts wrapped in diamond on her finger. 

While this seems to be leading to another loss for Kobe, he didn't tell his momma to "Sit your ass down" after a hard foul during a game. You just don't talk to your momma that way.

Loser - LeBron

3) Bowling - Kobe sucks. But LeBron has an alley in his house...and sucks.

Loser - LeBron

4) Teamwork - LeBron averages more assists. He works his tail off to make the less talented players of the Cavaliers become productive for the team. Kobe works his tail off to train the less talented players of the Lakers to "give him the ball" so he can score 81 points. While I feel Kobe makes it work better for him, this category is called 'teamwork'.

Loser - Kobe

5) Human Rights - Kobe had no delusions about wanting to win the gold medal in China.  LeBron originally wanted to point out China supports countries that use terror and force to keep their people in line...At least until he found out how many people buy shoes in China.

Loser - LeBron

6) When he's not 'feelin' it - Kobe is on the court and disappears from the scoring column while turning the ball over 10 times with lazy passes. LeBron on the other hand, dribbles the ball for 20 seconds at the top of the three-point arc, then clangs a long miss into a fast break for the other team...Sometimes three to five times in a game.

Loser - Both.

7) Humor -  LeBron sings Cindy Lauper songs and dances to Kid N Play...Kobe points fingers at his teammates for losing and says "I was just kidding."

Loser - Kobe

8) Fans - LeBron's fans are stuck having to hear how he's probably leaving his team in 2010. Kobe's fans are delusional who keep saying that Kobe's better even though LeBron scores more points, rebounds, assists, blocks, steals and shoots a better field goal percentage. Their evidence? "Kobe's just better, and shoots a better jumper".

Loser - LeBron, because Kobe's fans don't matter.

9) Ego - Nobody who's ever left the Lakers had anything good to say about Kobe.  Everybody who's left the Cavs hates the management but still talks to LeBron.

Loser - Kobe

Well, that was unexpected. Even with nine topics we have a tie.

So I guess I have to decide a loser of the contest. Using Kobe-fan logic, I chose him.  He's the bigger loser, because he "just is."