An Andy Murray Grand Slam? Liverpool EPL Title? Looking Ahead to 2009, Part Two

Hi guys, sorry I took a while, but here is the second part to my previous article.

Continued from Part One:

July

Ricky Hatton and Manny Pacquiao finally get it on in the ring. Just as Pacquiao begins to take control of the Hitman, the lights go out...Floyd Mayweather Jr appears in the ring and gives them both a steel chair to the head...WWE Styleee!

Cristiano Ronaldo picks up where he left off last summer, claiming that the cars in Madrid are a lot harder to crash than in Manchester. His whining gets front news in the paper ahead of Barack Obamas new plans to buy out the New York Knicks.

At Wimbledon, Roger Federer continues his theme of getting more old school every year. He picks up his sixth win at SW19 by beating Rafa Nadal, who has calmed down a bit, 6-0,6-0,6-1, looking somewhat creepily like 7 time champion Willie Renshaw. The now all time GS winner celebrates in style, being dropped to No. 69 in the world rankings. It was only natural as he was challenging inappropriately.

August

After winning the Open at Alisa in July, Tiger Woods claims he has no challengers and threatens to Boycott the sport unless he gets a decent rivalry.

Rafa Nadal takes both Masters Series Events in two weeks. The sleeves on his shirts continue to be ripped off and the totally random colour of his headbands gets more vibrant and insane. After his success his is taken to the recently sacked Tony Adams second chance sport clinic.

The new football season gets off to a flyer, with Liverpool already four points clear at the top of the now Pepsi Championship. The reformed Steven Gerrard comes back with a bang, smashing in six in thre games.

In the EPL Arsenal and Man Utd are the early pace setters. Defending champions Fulham and Abu Dhabi City languish at the foot of the table.

September

Cristiano Ronaldo is sold to Real Madrid on the final day of the Transfer Window for £140m with free delivery. The plane manages to escape uncrashed. Man Utd subsequently drop to fourth in the table behind Newcastle and Burnley. Chris Eagles is top scorer with 14.

The month delayed PGA Championship is won by a semi black man. Not Tiger Woods but Barack Obama. After his bid to buy the Knicks fails, he goes for a swing and does rather well.

In New York, Roger Federer storms to ANOTHER GS title. Beating Andy 'The Choker' Murray in straight sets again. Rafael Nadal exits in the first round after he is disqualified for playing in no shirt at all.

October

Andy Murray, yes the scottish one, wins the Shanghai Masters convincingly but is only No. 14 in the world. Disgraceful!

Arsenal drop points at home to QPR, who are currently at fifth in the table. The gunners remain top despite this setback, and Arshavin is finding the EPL easier than Nuclear War...Thank God!

Lewis Hamilton is elected as new president of Iceland...Not the country (congratulations to the first lesbian president) but the Food chain. Kerry Katona is sacked because she KEEPS taking those chicken strips out of the freezer in the morning. Stupid Cow.

November

Not much happens in November aside Tiger Woods announces his retirement from Golf...That's All.

The biggest battle of the year commences. Rafa vs Roger. Nope. Obama vs Woods. Nope. Fifa 2010 vs PES 2010. They slug it out at each other and there is only one winner.. Sensible Soccer on the Sega MegaDrive!!!!

December

Chrimbo arrives and we finally get some decent fights. After his 20 second KO Defeat to Wladimir Klitschko, David Haye says he is really good...honest! He is subsequently knocked out by the ever increasing Manny Pacquiao...Now fighting at super Heavyweight! Beefy!

Arsenal finish the festive period top of the EPL by two points, just ahead of QPR and Chris Eagles FC. Man City are rock bottom and in the Pepsi Championship Liverpool are 36 points clear.

As for me, well thats my bussiness aint it. ;)

Over HS 13 nearly 14