10 Utterly Random Manchester United Themed Products

I was inspired to write this article after scrawling through the United online gift shop for a present for my friend's birthday.

There really are some absolutely crazy products being sold there.

It's amazing how just by slapping the United brand onto random everyday objects, something can suddenly become twice as desirable to the consumer.

I also thought it would be a good idea to write a somewhat more lighthearted piece before Monday's big Manchester Derby.

God knows my heart needs a break from the stress.

So here are 10 things being sold at the Old Trafford gift shop that may make you chuckle.

Corner Flag Gnome

This is in theory a great item.

It has a genuine use...kind of, and proudly shows off your love of the Red Devils!

The only problem with it may be that passing fans of Liverpool (or any team other than United) might not have quite as much respect for your property as you would want!

Price: £7.99

Ryan Giggs Face Mask

What says "I love you" to your partner or spouse more than the image of one of Britain's most notoriously adulterous footballers?

This could be fun to wear to a match (once you're safely inside the stadium), but it doesn't have much use elsewhere!

Well, unless you're playing a really weird game of dress-up.

Other faces include Javier Hernandez and Wayne Rooney!

All priced at: £1.99

UK Pool Cue and Case

I can't help but think that if you're serious enough about buying a pool cue, you more than likely won't be looking on the Manchester United website for one.

Still, from the images they have of them, it seems like they are all produced to a good standard.

Who knows? Maybe Ronnie O'Sullivan might crack one of these beauties out at the next World Snooker Championships.

Priced at: £58.49

5-Piece Clear Exam Pencil Case

The perfect way to get your young ones off to the right start in life.

This product not only kick starts their learning, but also points them in the "right" direction when it comes to football! Assuming you're a United fan of course.

I particularly like the idea of a Manchester United calculator.

In my head this is what the club secretaries use to calculate the budgets every season.

Priced at: £4.99

Manchester United Eau De Sport

I wish I was making that name up.

I can only imagine what this must smell like.

Judging by the texture of the liquid in the bottle I wouldn't be totally surprised if they don't just collect all the sweat that drips off of Wayne Rooney at the end of every match!

Priced at: £9.99

Manchester United Emblem Cut-out Crest Pendant

Would you believe that this product is genuinely made of 9-carat gold?

Let's be honest, the average fan won't be purchasing this item any time soon.

However, I'm sure there's a few Red Devils out there who might have the depth of pocket for such an item.

Priced at a whopping: £124.99

Football-Shaped Hip Flask

Just imagine if Clint Eastwood had used one of these during his days on the silver screen in the Wild West.

Or maybe if the set designers for Saving Private Ryan had purchased a few.

I can't see a situation where you would use this, but hey, I might be wrong!

Priced at: £19.99

Bed Canopy

You know contrary to popular belief, Old Trafford is named the "theatre of dreams" after these canopies, not the other way around!

Clever pun, though.

On a serious note, what is the point of this?

(Over)Priced at: £44.99

United Shirt-Shaped Egg Cup

Now this product I actually rather love. In fact, I'm considering buying it!

It has a genuine daily use in your house and is a casual way to embrace the love of your team.

Sometimes the most simple ideas are the best.

Priced at: £4.99

Baby Baseball Jacket

I've got to say, considering this is clothing aimed at babies, and designed with a football theme in mind, this really isn't half bad.

If it weren't for the fact that they aren't made it in men's sizes (well, that and the extreme heat I would receive for wearing a United brand product from the majority of the population), I would definitely buy one for myself.

Priced at a reasonable: £17.99