NFL Quarterbacks: Where's the Fun?

Perfect cheekbones do not a perfect season make. Tom Brady is talented, attractive and one of the best QBs out there, but the guy looks like he’s passing a stone out on the field.

Get your kidneys checked or lighten up. If there’s one thing that’s missing from the NFL and its quarterbacks, it’s a sense of humor.

Brett Favre is old. There’s no denying that. I won’t show the guy any kind of niceties until he changes the pronunciation of his last name to Favray.

That’s how it should be pronounced, aight?!?

That’s beside the point. The point is he’s had a good run. As much as I despise that grey-haired drama queen and feel like Wisconsin would get kicked out of the United States and beg to be adopted by Canada when B-Fav retires, the guy can play him some fun football.

He looks like he’s having a blast on the field which is rare these days. Favray enjoys football so much that I don’t mind watching Packers games. Granted, those games were mostly in the playoffs.

Football should be about three things: Winning, sportsmanship, and having a good freakin’ time on the field.

We’ve seen teams win. We’ve seen sportsmanship at its best (not talking about you Homeless Bill Smellichick) but the only guy who looks like he loves his job is Papa Favre. Sure David Garrard smiles when he connects with a Reggie Williams for a TD. Yes, Drew Brees looks somewhat content when the Saints don’t lose. And Carson Palmer seems downright giddy when he pronounces Houshmandzadeh, but these guys should be happy all the damn time!

You’re the quarterback for Christ’s sake; you have the best job in the world (besides George W. Bush because that dude does nothing all damn day except royally mess up America and gets hella paid for it).

The next time you’re about to call an audible, remember that everyone is watching. I’m not saying you should giggle like a schoolgirl backstage at a Justin Timberlake concert, but at least acknowledge the fact that you like what you do for a living.  

However, there is one quarterback who has the potential to be the next Brett Favre: Denver Broncos QB Jay Cutler.

I’m not talking about numbers and ratings, although he does posses a Favre-esque quality with his throwing, I’m talking about his demeanor.

Cutler is a rare breed. Not because he’s from a town in Indiana happily called Santa Claus or looks like he’s just smoked a huge bat (not implying that Jay Cutler is a pot head but his eyes never look like they’re open enough and he appears to be asleep in all his photos), but because he seems like he’s having a swell time playing in the NFL.

He also looks borderline autistic and is probably in his bedroom right now stacking his jerseys in numerical order. “First I’ll put on my No. 6 Commodores jersey and then I’ll place my number 6 Broncos jersey on top. (Long pause as Cutler stands back to admire his work), guess I’ll call Javon, see if he wants to hangout.”
 
While Mike Shenanigans tries to groom Cutler into the next Jake Plummer, oops I mean John Elway, he should take into consideration not only Cutler’s abilities to study the playbook under pressure, but his abilities to make the crowd cheer.  

You know why everyone in Green Bay looks so content at the games even though it’s minus 9876 degrees outside? The reason is simple; Chief Elder Brett looks so thrilled to be playing football that the crowd just eats it up. Golden oldie Favre doesn’t need to score a touchdown to get the crowd on its feet. He just needs to flash those pearly whites in enjoyment and the crowd goes ape.

Cutler can do all that and more. He’s already started last season. While most QBs show up to their post-game press conferences in pinstripe suits, ties and dapper newsboy caps, while Cutler stands at the podium in a XXL Broncos tee with a tuque (French Canadian speak for knitted wool hat) on, wiping off beads of sweat as they glide down his cherubic cheeks. I just want to pinch them, they’re so cute!

He answers the reporters’ questions with more than simple “yes’s” and “no’s” and he cracks a sweet smile when he’s played above par and knows Coach is gonna give him a treat. Something he can stack, perhaps? 

But seriously, Jay Cutler can be the next Brett Favre. He can slip the fun back into football and make being an NFL quarterback look like the great job it is.

If not we can try it with Rex Grossman, but he's got to stop sucking first.