Video: APOEL's Paulo Jorge Pulls out Own Tooth, Names Self Baddest Man Alive

Rugby players don't have anything on Paulo Jorge.

After Wednesday's Champions League match between Real Madrid and APOEL Nicosia, there's a new standard for football "tough-guy-ness."

His name is Paulo Jorge. And that's Mr. Paulo Jorge to you.

Before we go any further, let's have a disclaimer. What you are about to see includes a man pulling out one of his own teeth. And yes, it is extremely cringe-worthy.

Good. Now, let's get to the video.

As you can see, what we have here is Portuguese defender Paulo Jorge of APOEL colliding with one of his teammates during their match against Real Madrid on Wednesday. They lost 5-2, but that's not important.

Those little white flecks you see flying through the air? Yeah, when you worried just now that those might be teeth, but you weren't quite sure because that seriously couldn't happen, could it? Well, you were right.

But that wasn't all. Oh no.

Completely discontent with merely being a tough guy, Jorge went nuclear with it a few moments later.

As pictured around the 0:15 mark of the video, Mr. Jorge—as he shall now be addressed in all situations, out of respect—performed a dental procedure on himself and removed another tooth from his own mouth.

Mr. Jorge's mental monologue must have gone something like this—but, you know, in Portuguese.

Think you're something, Cristiano? Take that hair gel and shove it where the sun don't shine. Woooooo! Ooooh yeah! I am Spartacus!

Astounded? Me too.

Upon further inspection, I have two reactions.

First, Mr. Jorge is my new favorite player. Robin van Persie just can't do that.

Second, no one can ever again knock soccer players for being wimpy. Never again, my friends!

Follow @MikeCummings37