The Doctor's Weekly WWE Raw Recap: The 122 Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

The go-home Raw heading into WrestleMania is over and it seemed like the creative team must have been really overworked.

The show did not feel like the last one before the biggest night of the year. It was filled with way too many Rock/Cena videos, and the matches were really nothing special.

Christian's injury could not have come at a worse time since he just came off an injury which kept him out of action for four months.

The injury could be a part of an angle, but if it isn't, then Christian could see even more time away from the ring.

The closing segment was another showdown between John Cena and The Rock which ended in nothing really happening.

Overall, the best match of the night was the opening tag match between Randy Orton and Sheamus against the team of Daniel Bryan and Kane.

I truly appreciate my loyal readers but for those of you who are new, each week I recap Raw with a long list.

The entries are made up of equal parts humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials too just because I get bored during them.

I have two games each week as well. The first game is trying to correctly predict the length of the next Divas match to the second. The other game is coming up with new and humorous nicknames for David Otunga revolving around a specific part of his character or attire from that week.

This game has produced such wonderful nicknames as the Macchiato Mauler, The Sweater-vest Savior, The Bow-tie Brawler, The Caffeinated Crippler and my personal favorite, the Folger's Soldier.

I try to interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the 122 things we learned, loved and hated from the show.

1. The show opens with Randy Orton coming to the ring.
2. Awesome, Booker is on commentary tonight.
3. Sheamus is out next to be Orton's partner against Daniel Bryan and Kane.
4. AJ is with Bryan at ringside.
5. At least Kane is wearing pants. These other three guys could take a lesson.
6. Bryan and Orton begin, and Orton uses his power to push Bryan around.
7. Orton misses a running knee drop and Bryan takes advantage.
8. Sheamus and Kane both tag in and the two power-houses in the match lock up.
9. Bryan hits a running knee off the apron on Sheamus right as we go to commercial.
10. I am a little surprised the go-home show heading into WrestleMania started with a match and not a promo.
11. When we return, Bryan is taking it to Sheamus, but Orton gets the tag and takes it to Bryan.
12. Kane pulls Bryan out of the ring but Orton follows and throws Kane into a ring post.
13. Bryan hits a sliding kick into Orton and Orton is down with Kane in the ring again.
14. Decent match so far.
15. Kane winds up for the Choke Slam but Orton hits a beautiful dropkick to turn the tables.
16. Bryan and Sheamus tag in and Sheamus is blasting Bryan in the corner before hitting the Irish Curse.
17. Orton and Sheamus double-team Kane and get him outside the ring.
18. AJ runs in and stops Sheamus from hitting the Brogue Kick.
19. He misses and Kane hits the Choke Slam so Bryan can get the pin and the win for his team.
20. AJ looks on adoringly while Bryan celebrates in the ring, pointing to the WrestleMania sign.
21. We get a replay of WrestleMania 27 where The Rock cost Cena the WWE title.
22. Michael Cole is in the ring wearing a Team Johnny shirt and telling everyone he is the official commentator for Team Johnny at WrestleMania..
23. He brings out Johnny Ace, who introduces Vickie Guerrero as the official flag bearer.
24. Team Captain David Otunga comes out with the funniest cut-up shirt I have ever seen.
25. Otunga is the most unintentionally funny guy in WWE sometimes.
26. Booker gets up on the table and introduces Teddy Long.
27. Long brings out his Team Captain, Santino Marella.
28. Hornswoggle comes out with the Team Teddy flag as Santino power-walks in the ring.
29. Santino gets a chant early on in the match.
30. Santino gets in some offense with a few tricks.
31. He tries to leap-frog Otunga in the corner but he just gets pounded instead.
32. Otunga starts waving the flag but Hornswoggle comes in and distracts Otunga so Santino can hit the Cobra and get the win.
33. Very short match which did not do a whole lot to further what is already a well-established feud.
34. After the match, Santino ducks down behind Johnny and Teddy pushed him backwards.
35. Santino was going to hit the Cobra but Miz comes in and hits the Skull Crushing Finale on him.
36. Haha, John Laurinaitis welcomes Miz to Team Teddy and then corrects himself and says Johnny.
37. Miz, Vickie, Otunga and Captain Flub celebrate in the ring.
38. I wonder if we will find out the final member of Team Teddy tonight or if it will be on Friday.
39. Sweet. We will get Punk vs. Christian later tonight.
40. Another Cena/Rock video plays. Are we going to be getting these all night?
41. I thought the whole point of the documentary before the show was so Raw could focus on everything else.
42. Right after that video we get another video hyping Undertaker vs Triple H.
43. Eve is out next, followed by Beth Phoenix.
44. Cole is still saying Menounos will be competing at WrestleMania so I wonder if she will work through her recent injury.
45. What? A Madonna song is a theme for WrestleMania?
46. Why is there so many themes for one PPV? And why are they all awful?
47. After the commercial, Kelly Kelly comes out.
48. Kelly gets a "Hoeski" chant going before getting a quick near-fall on Eve.
49. Eve goes nuts and takes it to Kelly.
50. Beth is screaming "Apologize to her" at Kelly.
51. Kelly hits a twirling head-scissors which had about seven revolutions on it.
52. Eve misses a moonsault attempt and Kelly gets the win.
53. Bell to bell ring time of 2:27. Congrats to Nick Rackley for predicting the time to the second. Leave your predictions for the WrestleMania Divas match below.
54. Another Rock/Cena video plays after the match. This one is from Survivor Series.
55. Punk is walking backstage as we go to commercial.
56. I am curious if WWE is showing this commercial for WWE.com on their own TV time or if is actually a part of the commercial break. It's hard to say since it is a real commercial and not a video package.
57. Why did Justin Roberts introduce Christian as "The man who calls himself Captain Charisma"
58. Punk is out next for a match that will probably be the match of the night.
59. Can Stan Lee sure Punk for using "It's Clobberin' Time?"
60. Jericho appears on the Titantron to mock Punk again.
61. Jericho says Punk's mom is the only decent person in the family.
62. However, his parents were married after Punk was born, making him a literal bastard.
63. Why does that matter? Who cares if he was born out of wedlock?
64. If this was 1960, that might have meant something.
65. Christian attacks Punk from behind before the match starts.
66. Christian throws Punk outside the ring and Punk starts slamming Christian's head into the announce table.
67. Punk starts giving Christian a series of elbows to the head before giving Christian the GTS on a set of steel steps.
68. That looked pretty cool, actually.
69. Punk slaps on the Anaconda Vise and it takes four refs to pull him off.
70. Punk runs back and puts the AV on Christian again before being pulled off a final time.
71. Good segment, but the catalyst for Punk's breaking was lame. Whoever came up with the "Bastard angle" got kind of lazy.
72. When we return, Cole says Christian may have injured his neck.
73. Oh hell yeah. Brodus Clay is out next with my two favorite dancers.
74. I pray this match is longer than a minute. I really need Clay to show me something soon or I will lose all hope for him ever being a real success beyond the insane gimmick.
75. His opponent is Curt Hawkins. This will be short.
76. Whoa, Hawkins actually takes Clay down with a nice chop-block to Clay's knee.
77. Clay comes back quickly and throws Hawkins across the ring.
78. Clay hits his huge splash and the match is over.
79. Damn. When will this guy get a real shot to show us something good?
80. Seriously, WWE? A fourth Rock/Cena video? I get that it's a huge match but they should not be giving it this much time after this match had its own hour-long show before Raw.
81. Ravishing Rosa is out with the Tag Team Champions next.
82. Big Show is facing Primo and I am betting we are about to see one of the champs get squashed.
83. Cole says Christian is not cleared to be on Team Johnny at Mania.
84. Is this injury real? If it is, then Christian has the worst luck in the world.
85. Show wins the match and Rhodes comes out to taunt him.
86. Rhodes wants to turn "Big Show" into a verb for doing something bad.
87. I have to admit that saying "I have to take a Big Show" is somewhat funny.
88. I wonder if Big Show will win or if he is going to Britta this whole thing.
89. The Bellas are shown wearing shirts for Team Teddy and Johnny.
90. Ryder pops out and says Team Teddy will win because he is on the team. Nikki says she changed her mind about Zack.
91. Ha, Ryder insults both girls by saying she should change her face. Eve walks up and says she forgives him.
92. Even though he did nothing wrong, he needed to be forgiven? This is a very convincing storyline in some ways.
93. Punk is shown talking about his family backstage. He says everything Jericho said about his mom and sister are lies.
94. Mark Henry vs. Khali is next.
95. If you are an attractive girl and you want to get on TV, just go to a WWE TV taping and dance during someone's entrance.
96. Henry wins the match in less than a minute. Kind of a waste of time.
97. Henry is yelling at Long after the match and Laurinaitis throws Long in the ring.
98. Henry looks like he wants to attack Long and Laurinaitis brings out the rest of his team to block the entrance.
99. Santino and Ryder try and run in but they get taken out.
100. Hahahaha. Truth just dives on the crowd of guys and somehow he is down and out. I guess he took himself out.
101. Kofi gets slammed by Henry and then Henry picks up Long.
102. Booker runs in and makes the save.
103. Long asks Booker to join his team and Booker accepts.
104. Team Johnny is still down one guy, so hopefully we find out who that will be tonight.
105. A fifth, and hopefully final, Rock/Cena video airs showing what went down last week.
106. The Rock is out after the break to a nice pop.
107. This better end in someone getting laid out.
108. Rock is in the ring and several chants break out before he can even speak. Do I hear a few boos for Rocky tonight?
109. Rocky brings up his match at WrestleMania 20 to start things off before Cena comes out.
110. What is a Civil War Pie?
111. Sign of the night "1004 HOLDS." Love the classic Jericho reference.
112. Cena loves talking about The Rock's penis. He has brought it up several times in the last couple of months.
113. A dueling Cena chant breaks out and he uses it to prove his point.
114. Nice. Cena brings up the fact that he has been in WWE longer than The Rock was.
115. The Rock has barely moved since Cena started talking.
116. Cens gets bleeped as he says he needs to win for more reasons that The Rock.
117. Rocky gets bleeped too as he responds.
118. Someone throw a punch, for God's sake!
119. Rock says he needs to beat Cena to be the greatest of all time, but on a personal level he just doesn't like him.
120. The show ends with Cena and Rock talking to each other with no mics and no one hit anyone else.
121. Honestly, this was not that great of a show giving that we are heading into WrestleMania this weekend.
122. No Undertaker, Triple H or Shawn Michaels tonight, either. Whats up with that?

Thanks for reading and feel free to share your thoughts and additions to the list below. Also, please take a moment and make your prediction for the length of the next Divas match.