NCAA Basketball Tournament: March's Maddening Sickness

(Humor) With swift and unapologetic fury, the sickness attacks me every March.

Rendering me nearly powerless, the early Spring malaise, far worse than any cold, virus or flu, devours my energy, cripples my logical thinking and negates any thought of normality in my life for nearly thirty days.

Today, this same invisible power has wielded its ugly head and smitten me once again.

March Madness has once again gripped me, pulsating uncontrollably through my veins. Symptoms like sleep deprivation, bouts of euphoria, irrational guttural screams and obsessive-compulsive behavior are certain to overtake me. I’ll soon be uttering an endless array of scores, stats, pre-game analysis and RPI ratings. I’ll even debate conference strength of schedules and be predicting and prognosticating regional brackets.  

Like a zombie I’ll hypnotically trudge through mid-March and into early April, never parting with the remote. I’ll divide my time between the big LCD screen on my TV, the smaller LCD on my iPad and the even tinier LCD screen on my Blackberry.

Forget about regular, normal relationships, too.  Like some co-dependent alien, I’ll only able to communicate coherently with others sharing the same physical condition.  Sweating profusely and biting my nails incessantly, I’ll be texting and mumbling phrases like Sweet 16;  Another Cinderella Advances;  BuzzerBeater; Raining 3’s, Diaper Dandy;  Box Out;  Shoot Out the Lights;  and – my personal favorite – Double Overtime Barn Burner!

Wow! What a sickness! I say, bring it on me every March! Give me a double dose, and don’t ever try to cure me. Please don’t stop the Madness, don’t ever stop the Madness!

I just love this disease...and I don’t ever want to be cured of it!

Straight talk. No static!

MIKE - aka Mike Raffone - thee ultimate talking head on sports!

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