IMPACT Wrestling Quick Thoughts for March 8, 2012

It’s Friday.

Remember that IMPACT review where I said I lost my Fortune t-shirt?

That was about eight months ago. Well, guess what I found!

Speaking of IMPACT Wrestling t-shirts, buy Austin Aries’ latest shirt, only on ShopTNA.com. 

Also, vote in the TNA Madness 2012: 32-Card Stud Tournament if you haven’t already. We’re in the second round!

Anyway, it’s “Showtime!”

- Kurt Angle doesn’t like Garett Bischoff because he disrespects his dad, has hair and wears weird wrestling gear. Angle found out that his son slicks his hair back before going to sleep to be like Bischoff. He has to clean all that grease out of his pillowcase every morning.

- Kurt Angle thinks that forcing Bischoff to tap from an Ankle Lock will change his view on his father.

- For a general manager, shouldn’t Sting get a private bathroom? Or does Eric Young just have a key to every room in the IMPACT Zone? Remember the last time Young used the bathroom on IMPACT? This happened.

- Sting may think Young is a woman, which is why he put him in the Knockouts Tag Team title match.

- EY wanted Sting’s blessing and Sting put paint on his face.

- Sting’s blessing = him painting your face. Congrats.

- Some people in the IMPACT Live Chat took this Knockouts Tag title match way too seriously.

1.) It’s the Knockouts Tag Team Championships. Those things have no credibility at all.

2.) Madison Rayne and Gail Kim are having a title match at Victory Road. They should NOT be friends.

3.) Most important, it’s Eric freaking Young! Right now, his job in TNA is comedy! He wrestled Scott Baio, fed horses cans full of beans, wore a turkey suit, attacked D’Lo Brown and was a chef for Immortal.

- ODB is obviously going to wear the pants in the marriage, Taz. Eric always takes his off.

- The X Division title isn’t that big in person. I would know. I met Austin Aries, James Storm, Velvet Sky, Daniels, Alex Shelley, Jesse Sorensen and Gail Kim at one TNA house show. Just saying.

- Aries vs. Ion was a good preview of what could happen at Victory Road. Without use of hairspray, of course.

- What part of “missing” doesn’t Joseph Parks understand? What would Velvet have to do with Abyss missing?

- Bully Ray learned that if you ask nicely, you might get what you want. Or Sting just really hates Bobby Roode.

- Prior to his match with Bully Ray, Roode lost a match to baby oil.

- Roode vs. Ray was going good and Bully actually got some cheers. If Bully Ray ever turns face he’ll need a new name. How’s Baby Ray sound?

- Rob Terry’s cardigan looked like it was made by Under Armour.

- Robbie E and Rob Terry could be a pretty good tag team

- Robbie E recently had a TV title match against Matt Morgan on Xplosion. Here’s a question: Who’s still TV Champ?

 Crimson got his ass kicked by the Robbies in the beginning of the match.

- Crimson is going to be a cool heel after Victory Road. Yes, I expect him to turn heel at Victory Road or the IMPACT after.

- AJ Styles has no friends. Garett Bischoff has no friends. Future tag team? God, no.

- Daniels, Roode, Kazarian and Storm all hate AJ because he was the very first Grand Slam Champion in the history of TNA. 

- Seeing Mr. Anderson again was cool. Hopefully, TNA limits him to the upper mid-card. He’s not exactly a main-event kind of guy. Next TV champion, though? Sure.

It’s weird that the word “ass” gets censored yet “A-hole” is okay.

- Why did they have Garett Bischoff beat up Gunner and Angle? That’s unbelievable! Seriously, this guy is a former referee beating up Gunner and a multi-time World Champion. Not realistic! Garett is getting too much of a push.

- Speaking of Garett’s undeserving push, where’s Pope? That guy is the exact opposite of Garett. You know? Entertaining.

- Ryan Frye likes to point out every IMPACT ending with a heel beating down a face and standing tall. There was none of that this week. I missed it! Why did Garett, of all people, get to celebrate a main event win?

- This week’s show was good, could’ve been great, but you got Garett Bischoff main eventing. He really knows how to slow the pace.

- Garett’s involvement in the tag match made me notice how much he needs training in TNA’s developmental territory, OVW.

If you made it this far, click here.

Ta-ta for now!