The Best and Worst Songs About Athletes

Athletes inspire, and one of the great products of their inspiration is music. 

Hundreds of ballads, raps, folk songs, country songs and swinging golden oldies pay tribute to or poke fun at beloved athletes.

Unfortunately, not all those inspired musicians compose with a talent on par with the athletes that they write about.

Simply put, some of the songs suck.

Click on to hear some of the best and worst athlete-inspired songs from throughout the ages.

Rules of the Rankings

(1) No jingles (sorry, rules out I Wanna Be Like Mike)

(2) Song has to be about a single athlete, not a team

(3) Song is about the athlete not by the athlete (sorry no Shaq raps here)

(4) One best and one worst from a handful of major sports (with a few runners-up)

(5) Amateur as well as professional songs are fair game

(6) The character/quality/talent of the athlete is not a factor

Warning: Prepare yourself for some swinging oldies.

Best Song About a Racecar Driver

King Richard by Dean Greer

Tribute to: Richard Petty

It's twangy, it's rhyme-y, but it sure is catchy, ain't it?

Also part of its allure is the song's enigmatic nature. No information seems to be available on the artist Dean Greer or the record label Deville (no apparent connection to the more modern label of the same name).

Worst Song About a Racecar Driver

Exactly Like Mario by the Lucky Duckies

Tribute to: Mario Andretti

We want to like this song, we really do. Lucky Ducky lead singer Marco Antonio almost wins us over with his unabashed hip swiveling and his 1950s hairdo...

Almost, but not quite. 

Just too much corniness going on here.

It's like an Elvis Presley subplot in A Clockwork Orange.

Best Song About a Baseball Player

Joltin' Joe DiMaggio by Les Brown and His Orchestra

Tribute to: Joe DiMaggio and his 56-game hitting streak in 1941

The song was written and performed during the same season as the incredible streak.

Pretty decent turn-around time for back in the day.

Worst Song About a Baseball Player

I Love Mickey by Teresa Brewer

Tribute to: Mickey Mantle

Okay, this song may be loved by thousands, but come on folks, it was a product of its time. People loved that Mantle said the "Mickey who?" line. The lyrics were easy to memorize, sure. 

But holy discordance, batman!

If Teresa Brewer's screechy voice doesn't give you a splitting headache ten bars in, have your hearing checked. 

Best Song About a Soccer Player

Strachan by the Hitchers

Tribute to Gordon Strachan

A song about a Scottish player in an English club written by an Irish band.

The tune by this alternative/punk band was dubbed an urban folk opera masterpiece.

Worst Song About a Soccer Player

Don't Cry Maradona by Ulker Guliyeva

Tribute to Diego Maradona

Ugh! Here's the laundry list:

1) Does Maradona really need our sympathy?

2) The title—an obvious play off Evita. Please.

3) Oh the politics stitched in! Singer is taking herself and Maradona far too seriously. 

4) Take away the lyrics, turn this down a notch and you've got yourself some decent music. 

Best Song About a Football Player

We Stand Together by Chris Paul

Tribute to: Sean Taylor

A classy and moving tribute to the murdered NFL star.

Worst Song About a Football Player

Brett Favre Song by Unknown

Tribute to: Brett Favre

OK, so this little ditty might have been pretty funny and uplifting for Vikings fans back in '09 when Favre came out of retirement.

But after the the 2010 sexting investigation (based on an alleged 2008 incident) the lyrics "You know you want me" are pretty scandalous. 

Best Song About a Tennis Player

Hey Hey... It's Andy Roddick by Binge 

Tribute to: Andy Roddick

If you work at a cubicle and don't want the chorus of this song to play through your head for the next seven hours, DO NOT CLICK PLAY on the video. Yeah, it's as catchy as a rhinovirus.

And I mean that as a compliment.

This group Binge proves to be pretty versatile. They also sing a decent tune about Anna Kournikova that has four different versions: rock, acoustic, Euro Dance and Sports Instrumental. 

Best Song About a Tennis Player: Runner Up

I'm in Love with Steffi Graf by Hugh Laurie 

Love song to: Steffi Graf

Funny lyrics, funny delivery. All-around well done.

By the way, tell me young Hugh isn't some weird laboratory mixture of Hugh Grant and Steve Buscemi. 

Worst Song About a Tennis Player

The Andre Agassi Song by Unknown 

Tribute (???) to: Andre Agassi

I had a nightmare that the dude who came up with this freakishness was jogging around my living room, singing his Agassi song and juggling flaming tennis raquets.

Best Song About a Golfer

Donald The Dub by Frank Crumit

Ballad of a fictional player

So, it is a far cry from Lil Wayne or Kanye West, but this song written in 1927 has some pretty stellar lyrics.

How can you dislike any song with the lines: "Oh! The dirty little pill went rolling down the hill/And rolled right into a bunker/From there to the green I took thirteen/And there by gosh I sunk ‘er."

Note that the song writer Frank Crumit also penned the Buckeye Battle Cry.

Worst Song About a Golfer

Tiger Woods Christmas Song by Unknown

Song mocking Tiger Woods

Songs like this one were bound to happen after Tiger's epic scandal.

A few chuckles here, but mostly bad singing and a bad attempt to cram syllables into the existing lyrics scheme. 

Best Song About a Basketball Player

Kobe Bryant by Lil' Wayne

Tribute to: Kobe Bryant

This choice is not to weigh in over the Kobe/Lebron debate. 

It's just a damn fine rap.

Worst Song About a Basketball Player

We Are Lebron by Unknown

Plea to Lebron James

It's one thing to be a fan, another to be a sycophant. 

Also, is it really in good taste to parody a song that was written to raise money for starving children?

Wouldn't the connotation then be that keeping Lebron in Cleveland is as serious as famine in Africa?

Best Song About a Boxer

Hurricane by Bob Dylan and Jacques Levy

The song is about the legendary Rubin "Hurricane" Carter and the injustices of his incarceration.

In a Rolling Stone article, Eric Boehlert describes the song as follows: "Part protest song, part historical document, Dylan's runaway, eight-minute epic reads like a legal brief, as the singer punches holes in the prosecutor's Lafayette killings case, spitting out the lyrics with passion and contempt."

The song became a huge hit and brought lots of attention to Carter's case. Some even credit the tune with helping to free the maligned fighter. 

Best Song About a Boxer: First Runner Up

In Zaire by Johnny Wakelin 

Tribute to: Muhammad Ali and his 1974 Rumble in the Jungle bout with George Foreman

This came after Wakelin's hit Black Superman, also about Ali and the same bout.

In Zaire proved to be the more popular of the two songs.  

Best Song About a Boxer: Second Runner Up

Warrior's Code by Dropkick Murphy

Tribute to: Mickey Ward

Irish-tinged punk rock from an American band. 

Another song on the Warrior's Code album was used in the movie The Departed.

Worst Song About a Boxer

The Greatest Love of All by George Benson

This one bends the rules in that it is not directly about Ali, but it was the title song of his biopic The Greatest.

No, this is not a diss on Whitney—the opposite in fact.

The George Benson version just sounds anemic and dreary compared to the Houston version.

Best Song About a Cricket Player

Shane Warne Song by Paul Kelly

Tribute to Shane Warne

A grassroots recording effort by the Aussie singer/songwriter. 

The song puts clever new lyrics to Lord Kitchener's calypso classic London Is the Place for Me.

Worst Song About a Cricket Player

The Shane Warne Song by Kevin Bloody Wilson

Tribute (???) to: Shane Warne

This comedic tribute is flat while the background talent is far less so.

Best Song About a Cyclist

ESPY Award Serenade by Will Ferrell

Serenade to: Lance Armstrong

Ballsiest line: "You beat the very best/Let's not forget the urine test."

Think about it.

Worst Song About a Cyclist

Lance Rap by Unknown

What's with all the random historical references? Is this supposed to be Lance Armstrong as Forrest Gump, the unwitting changer of events?

Yeah boys, keep your day job. 

Best Song About a Hockey Player

Gordie Howe Is the Greatest of Them All by Big Bob and the Dollars

Tribute to: Gordie Howe

C'mon, admit that you were tapping your foot under the desk as you listened to this.

Worst Song About a Hockey Player

Wayne Gretzky by Goldfinger

Tribute to: Wayne Gretzky

In the words of Sputnik Music reviewer Chris Maziejka, "Wayne Gretzky is just a sad attempt at an acoustic track."