Utah Stripped of Sugar Bowl Victory (Satire)

Breaking news from the BCS:

In a statement released this morning by BCS spokesman Paul Carew, the University of Utah will be stripped of its Sugar Bowl win over Alabama. The trophy and the win will therefore be credited to the Crimson Tide.

At a news conference in Salt Lake City Monday morning, Mr. Carew said the action was to be taken immediately.

When asked what had transpired, what obviously serious infraction by the Utes had provoked such a drastic and unprecedented response, Carew simply replied, "I can't go into too many details now. Be assured that the improprieties committed by the Utes were numerous and undeniable".

The crowd of media and fans grew angry at his vague response. They started yelling obscenities and demanding answers.

When reporter Christy Lynn Ray of WBSC in Tulsa screamed, "Give us some answers Paul, this is a load of crap," Carew, visibly shaken by the fast-forming lynch mob on the other side of the podium, offered the following.

"The BCS is investigating allegations that...uhhh." He fumbled for words.

Another reporter shouted, "What exactly did they do?"

Carew stammered and said, "OK, calm down, the truth is that we have yet to find the infractions by Utah."

Carew looked befuddled and tried to clarify his statement. "That is, to say, that we are in the midst of an all-out investigation to find what those infractions were. I mean seriously, like a team from a non-BCS conference could ever really beat any SEC team, much less Alabama. Seriously!"

More on this story as it develops.   

An anonymous spokesman with ESPN said that BCS executives had been suspicious of the non-BCS conferences cheating in bowl games since the Oklahoma/Boise State debacle of 2006.

He went on to say that the in-depth investigation into the matter was being headed up by the FBI.

BCS and FBI investigators are examining game tapes, going back through to check authenticity of academic records for the university's athletic department, as well as contacting anyone who might have any useful and incriminating evidence against Utah (on or off the field).

It boils down to this:

How dare this little school from Utah (of all places), have the nerve and the gall to beat up on an SEC opponent on national television? In the Sugar Bowl no less!

They must have cheated. They are smaller and slower. They don't play football in Utah, right?

Wrong, apparently they do play a little ball there, and that's why they play the games and don't just mail trophies out to the favored teams. 

I say, great job Utes! More power to ya! And to all of you fans of the underdog...

Dare to believe and be the David to their Goliath!

I am a Sooner fan myself and to listen to the media we are now David.

I say bring on the giant!