Indianapolis Colts Video: Watch Bizarre Recap of Colts' Epic Meltdown

Well, the Indianapolis Colts are now officially worldwide news—NMA has made a video about the team and its offseason!

And as only NMA can do, the video is as ridiculous and wonderful as you might expect. Let's break down the key moments from the film.

Opening Scene

Holy crap—what an amazing way to open this video. Also, if Irsay's Twitter account is any indication, he should not be allowed anywhere near gas or a source of flame.

0:10

Look out, horse with the horseshoe tattoo (because who doesn't want a tattoo of their footwear?)—football players from the 1950s have come to mug you .

Way to just watch the beatdown happen without doing anything, Jim Caldwell.

Typical.

0:18

Apparently, God hates Peyton Manning. And to think his whole injury could have been avoided if the retractable roof guy at Lucas Oil Stadium did his job on that fateful day...

0:25

Sure, I could just fire you in the non-literal sense. But I'm Jim Irsay, so I'm going to burn you alive and ruin this entire executive suite.

0:33

This year's NFL draft will be taking place in the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario and Luigi will be announcing the picks in the second round.

0:47

NMA thinks that Rob Lowe was—LITRA-LY—the first person to "report" Peyton Manning would retire. All of the "Molly Ringwald just reported something else happened in sports" jokes have already been made, so I'll spare you.

Hit me up on the Twitter—my tweets are FDA approved.