Naked Women and The NFL

Okay, now that I have your attention let me ask all of you readers a couple of questions. We'll get to the naked women shortly!

1. Why in the world did the Broncos fire Mike Shanahan? That was the dumbest move since Al Davis fired Shanahan years ago! Right? 

2. Can the Miami Dolphins resurgence this season be attributed more to the hiring of Bill Parcells in the front office or bringing in Tony 'Soprano' Sparano on the sidelines?  

3. Will the Detroit Lions ever win another game? No, seriously though how long before they can right the ship? One year? five years? What do you thi..........

"What was that noise"?

4. Will Jamarcus Russell or Brady Quinn have a more successful career? Which team will have a better year in '09? Will Ja......

"Hang on someones at the door"........"Damn it's my parole officer, how did he find me here?" I've gotta type quietly.

5. Is, in your opinion, Mario Williiams finally starting to perform up to his potential? Is he ever going be worth that No. 1 draft pick and the money that came with it?

"Son of a *^#@*! He's still outside, he's calling my name and trying to peek in the window." But I digress. " I gotta hurry here!"

6. Was Peyton Manning deserving of this years NFL's Most Valuable Player Award? And how far do y..........

"Dammit I think he saw me, crap, yeah now he's screaming 'I see you in there!' He wants another urinalysis and says the cops wanna know where I was Thursday around 1 a.m. "I don't know what he's talking about, but I should go!"

7. Finally, will anyone be able to turn around the Raiders and get them in the playoffs before I die? Who would be a good choice for coach.............

"Oh my gosh this guy is persistent!" He's rattling my doorknob now. "Screw this—I'm making a break for the backdoor, he's pretty fat so I'm sure I can outrun him again!"I still wonder how he found me here at my Viagra dealer's house........wait, I'll bet it was my brother again. That son of a *#@&*# has been ticked at me since I took his wife to Cabo on his credit card.

Answer me these questions please. I will respond as soon as I can find another 'safehouse'.

And as far as the naked ladies mentioned earlier, you should be ashamed of yourselves, perverts! LOL. Now if you don't find that funny then you are racist!

I gotta go, he called the cops and they're kicking at the door. Thank you and.............."Get your filthy bacon hands off me pig. You got the wrong guy! Aaaahhhhhh! You son of a #*@*@#! You'll never take me alive! Attica, Attica, Attica..........."