Dan Sturgis

Dan Sturgis


Dan Sturgis was considered a hockey god in the land where people never skated before. Living in Morocco recently, his Canadian background meant he dominated the falling down players and whooped excitedly when he scored on an empty net.

Having recently left the only arena in Morocco and returned to his home and native land, he's not nearly as competitive, and instead has taken to bashing hockey teams and the NHL management in order to compensate for his shortcomings. Dan is a numbers guy, and watches with avid fascination as some players are paid way more than they are worth.

As a Leafs fan, this has been particularly hard on him because it's often Toronto handing out stupid contracts.
When asked his opinion on Toronto's stupid signings, he shrugs and says, "At least I'm not an Islanders fan!"

Dan is married and has an 18 month old son, Zack, who he hopes will become both an international rugby player, and an NHL superstar. Though he tried relentlessly for months on end to make sure Zack's first word was hockey, "mama," came out disappointedly, followed by "lapin," which means bunny in French.

Dan's wife recently stopped him from crazy-gluing a hockey stick to Zack's hands so that he'd "get a feel for the game" at an early age.

Dan's only claim to hockey fame is that he has a distant relative who was drafted into the NHL. His distant cousin also happens to be the first ever goalie to physically score a goal. (The Rob Ramage incident doesn't count). It was done in an OHL game.

Dan plays all sports, although has a passion for hockey and rugby.

Professional baseball pisses Dan off. This has been the case since a strike destroyed the Montreal Expos, who were running away with the league that year. Dan is convinced it was a conspiracy to make sure Canadian teams didn't win three straight World Series.

Bulletin Board

or to post this comment