GetOutofMyBallpark Article Archive

B/R Articles

Apparently, Cliff Lee Is the Yankees' Daddy

This Column Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com Have you ever been really excited to show off your new apartment to some friends, and then some guy shows up, beats the crap out of ...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about about 1 month ago 69 reads 0 comments
Postmortem on the 2009 Red Sox.

I'm not a great eugooglizer, but bear with me. I'm only going to reference the giant kick to the testicles administered to me a few days ago by the now defunct 2009 Red Sox once...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about about 1 month ago 152 reads 5 comments
Boston Red Sox: One Man's Plea for Just a Few More Days of Summer

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com. There is no real fall in New England. From Opening Day in April until the last out is made on the Boys of Summer, we have six ...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about about 1 month ago 52 reads 0 comments
Red Sox Feeling No Pressure, Seriously

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com I don't think I've ever felt so little pressure on the day of a Red Sox playoff game before. Nobody expects anything, but everybody hopes for something...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about about 1 month ago 33 reads 0 comments
Red Sox Go All Deliverance On The Baltimore Orioles

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com Now that was what I was looking for. Six home runs, a performance from Buck worthy of a 10 run lead, and a good old sodomizing of a last place team back at Fenway...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 2 months ago 39 reads 0 comments
Junichi Tazawa Does Not Fear a Rampaging Youkzilla.

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com Apparently Kevin Youkilis has been reading the notes that I’ve been giving him on this site...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 3 months ago 84 reads 0 comments
Brad Penny Might Be Pukin, But He Still Likes The Home Cookin at Fenway

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com Take your head out of the oven, slowly lift your toe off the trigger and look around...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 3 months ago 53 reads 0 comments
Big Papi Did Steroids, But It's Cool...Seriously

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com So out it came. Juicin'. '04, '07, Manny, Papi. Without question, if they aren't in Boston those years, we get no hardware...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 4 months ago 158 reads 1 comments
I Virtually Hate Bleacher Report.

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com As some of you my know, for the past few months, SMC and I have been posting some of our work on a site known as Bleacher Report...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 4 months ago 243 reads 16 comments
Adam LaRoche and the Red Sox, A Match Made In Pittsburgh

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com I am really beginning to love the Pittsburgh Pirates. Not only are they called Pirates, but they have developed this great habit of ...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 4 months ago 65 reads 0 comments
The Awesomeness of Josh Beckett, As Explained by Billy Mays

This Article Originally published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com Not long after the Sox game yesterday, I realized that my paltry talents were not going to be enough to describe how awesome Josh Beckett ...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 4 months ago 401 reads 3 comments
Conspiracy Theory: Red Sox Score Four in Ninth, Beat O'S 6-5 in 11.

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com Did anyone see that one coming? After a punch to the groin of the collective Red Sox bullpen on Tuesday night (10 runs in two innings) ...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 5 months ago 104 reads 0 comments
The Awfulnes of an Offday, Multiplied by Joe Buck.

This Ball of Hilarity Originally Appeared at GetOutofMyBallpark.com Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse last night -boring work day, boring class, girlfriends parents are coming ...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 5 months ago 156 reads 0 comments
Red Sox Go 8-0 vs. Yankees, Sabathia Punches Aceves in the Groin

This Article Originally Appeared on GetOutofMyBallpark.com Damn, it feels good to be a gangster. If I were Joe Girardi right now I would be considering taking a walk through my bullpen with an ...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 5 months ago 228 reads 0 comments
Red Sox Beat Yankees, Flush $200M Down the Toilet....In a Good Way.

This Article Originally Appeared at Getoutofmyballpark.com That was just about perfect. The Yanks strutted into Fenway having won 20 of 28 since the "Biggest Douche In the Universe" returned ...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 5 months ago 82 reads 2 comments
Artificial Turf: Brett Farve Just Won't Go Away

If I could have slip the surgeon's assistant $100 to change the paperwork from "shoulder surgery" to "euthanasia" I absolutely would have. Or at least some sort of genital related operation...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 5 months ago 306 reads 3 comments
Terry Francona: An Appreciation of His First 500 Wins

This Column Originally Appeared at GetOutofMyBallpark.com The week that John Elway retired, the cover of Sports Illustrated had a picture of him and the headline, "John Elway: An Appreciation...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 6 months ago 46 reads 1 comments
Pull Your Head out of Your Arse: Jason Varitek Is Not on Steroids.

This Column Originally Published on GetOutofMyBallpark.com Warning: This post written under the influence of Big League Chew. People out there know that I have long been a supporter of the Boston Red Sox captain, Jason Varitek...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 6 months ago 107 reads 0 comments
Boston Red Sox: Give The Man Some Run Support

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com O.K. so I said that I was going to comment on the Sox' experiment with the batting order after the first game of it. I lied. Because everybody sucked last night...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 6 months ago 73 reads 0 comments
Sweet Release: Red Sox Take Second Straight from Blue Jays as Ortiz Homers

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com You know that feeling, when you haven't gotten laid in a while, and so it's all you can think about every time you talk to a girl, ...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 6 months ago 36 reads 0 comments
Wow. Did THAT Suck! ...Bruins Lose and I'm Off The Bangwagon

First off, 10 points to whomever can tell me what movie my title is from and an additional 10 points to whomever can explain why the proper grammar is "whom ever" and not "who ever...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 6 months ago 110 reads 1 comments
Sign Jason Bay: An Open Letter to John Henry Et Al.

This Article Originally Appeared on GetOutofMyBallpark.com Dear Mr. Henry and associates, First and foremost I want to say thank you...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 6 months ago 158 reads 3 comments
That Just Happened: Red Sox Score 12 in Sixth Before Indians Get an Out

This Column Originally Appeared On GetOutofMyBallpark.com Yes, Manny Ramirez probably used steroids. He may have even used them here. But he is gone now, and his suspension doesn't affect the 2009 Red Sox in any way...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 6 months ago 48 reads 0 comments
Red Sox-Yankees: Lester, Red Sox Let Yanks Hear All the Boo at the New Stadium

This Article Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com Let's total this up, MasterCard style. Brand new ballpark with all the amenities (including their very own portal to hell) that a ball player, fan or executive could want: $1...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 7 months ago 77 reads 0 comments
A-Rod Has Bitch Tits Like Meatloaf in Fight Club.

This Column Was Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com Great news Everyone! Selena Roberts has given us more reason to hate Douche-Rod. Excerpts from Robert's new book (out May 12) were published by the New York Daily News this morning...

Written by GetOutofMyBallpark about 7 months ago 2,888 reads 1 comments

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GetOutofMyBallpark Article Archive

Apparently, Cliff Lee Is the Yankees' Daddy

Postmortem on the 2009 Red Sox.

Boston Red Sox: One Man's Plea for Just a Few More Days of Summer

Red Sox Feeling No Pressure, Seriously

Red Sox Go All Deliverance On The Baltimore Orioles

Junichi Tazawa Does Not Fear a Rampaging Youkzilla.

Brad Penny Might Be Pukin, But He Still Likes The Home Cookin at Fenway

Big Papi Did Steroids, But It's Cool...Seriously

I Virtually Hate Bleacher Report.

Adam LaRoche and the Red Sox, A Match Made In Pittsburgh

The Awesomeness of Josh Beckett, As Explained by Billy Mays

Conspiracy Theory: Red Sox Score Four in Ninth, Beat O'S 6-5 in 11.

The Awfulnes of an Offday, Multiplied by Joe Buck.

Red Sox Go 8-0 vs. Yankees, Sabathia Punches Aceves in the Groin

Red Sox Beat Yankees, Flush $200M Down the Toilet....In a Good Way.

Artificial Turf: Brett Farve Just Won't Go Away

Terry Francona: An Appreciation of His First 500 Wins

Pull Your Head out of Your Arse: Jason Varitek Is Not on Steroids.

Boston Red Sox: Give The Man Some Run Support

Sweet Release: Red Sox Take Second Straight from Blue Jays as Ortiz Homers

Wow. Did THAT Suck! ...Bruins Lose and I'm Off The Bangwagon

Sign Jason Bay: An Open Letter to John Henry Et Al.

That Just Happened: Red Sox Score 12 in Sixth Before Indians Get an Out

Red Sox-Yankees: Lester, Red Sox Let Yanks Hear All the Boo at the New Stadium

A-Rod Has Bitch Tits Like Meatloaf in Fight Club.

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