April 28, 2012
April 27, 2012
April 27, 2012
April 25, 2012
Follow Riley on Twitter at @Riley_Blevins for more sports updates and article posts.
Riley is currently a sophomore at the University of Tennessee majoring in Journalism and Electronic Media with a sports writing concentration. New to the Knoxville area, Riley was born and raised in a west suburb of Chicago where he developed his love for sports and writing.
Riley also writes sports for a variety of other media outlets including the Daily Beacon, the Tennessee Journalist and KnoxVegasVols.com. Riley is also the editor of LetsTalkChicagoCubs.com, a website in the Fan vs. Fan network where 'fan journalists' can rave and rant about their beloved Cubs. With his editorship, Riley has appeared on the LA radio show MLB Inside the Numbers to talk Cubs baseball and promote readership to the site.
In constant pursuit of achieving his dream of becoming a sports reporter for a top online or print news outlet, Riley has attained a summer internship with the Kane County Chronicle covering the single-A Kane County Cougars alongside other high school sports.
"Then there was a rasp at the door.
Stares darted to the entrance. Players crawled to the edge of their vinyl-covered chairs. The door flung open. Curt Maggitt entered, donning the Vols’ new Smokey gray attire. The room erupted."
By rasp, did you mean a file (often called a rasp) that you would find in a toolbox or were you referring to a raspy voice? Surely, you meant “a rap at the door”. I won’t even go into “stares darted to the entrance” or “players crawled to the edge of their chairs”. “The room erupted”? You make it sound as if the room was situated above Mount Vesuvius with that last line.
My 10th grade English teacher would have rapped my knuckles had I ever turned something that sophomoric. I’m certain I would have found even more to critique in your article had I been able to read the whole thing, but I couldn’t make it past the first paragraph. Don’t you have anyone edit your stuff before posting it? You clearly need a mentor of some sort if you’re serious about making writing your career. You won’t progress any farther than an occasional Internet blog with this sort of drivel.
Take this as constructive criticism. Anyone with a college degree, or well on his way to earning one, could surely do better than this.