Favorite Athletes

Will Scalzitti, Billy Brewer, Fletcher Thompson, Ron Gant, Butch Huskey, Bobby J. Jones, Mo Sanford, Cory Stewart, Greg Swindell, Jose Oquendo, Brad Ausmus, Armando Reynoso, Larry Walker, Kirby Puckett, Kent Hrbek, Frank Viola, Justin Morneau, Joe Mauer, Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Todd Helton, LeBron James, Shaquille O'Neal, Kobe Bryant

Favorite Sports Teams

Colorado Rockies, Minnesota Twins, New York Yankees, Dallas Mavericks, Dallas Cowboys, Dallas Stars, Everett Aquasox, Duluth-Superior Dukes (RIP), Grand Rapids Little League Mariners (circa about 1995).

Favorite Coaches

I enjoyed "Coach" when it was on. Craig T. Nelson did well in the role.

All Time Sports Moment

Anything involving the Colorado Rockies from 1993 to when they started using the damn humidor.

Most Memorable Game Attended

Cecil Fielder's first career stolen base! My friend and I called it before the game, and we got Big Daddy's autograph on a baseball. Oh, Chad Curtis signed it too. Bah.

Most Unbreakable Sports Record

Rollie Fingers' mustache, although John Axford and Clay Zavada will try.

Ruth or Mays?

Wesley Snipes played a much better Willie "Mays" Hayes than Omar Epps.

Unitas or Montana?

Yes, unite Montana and sell it to Canada.

Jordan or Russell?

I didn't know there was a New Kid On The Block named Russell.

Gretzky or Orr?

Or Orr? Ororr? Oh roar?

Pele or Maradona?

Madonna over Peter Gabriel, definitely.

Federer or Sampras?

Which one is the blonde with big boobs? Wait, these are dudes? Shit, never mind.

Tiger or Nicklaus?

I still believe in Ol' Saint Nick.

Petty or Earnhardt?

Sorry, I'm not inbred.

Schumacher or Senna?

Benny Distefano.

ACC, Big 12, Big East, Big Ten, Pac-12 or SEC?

If I was packing a Big 12, I wouldn't be on the internet right now.