Favorite Athletes

Albert Belle; Larry Johnson

Favorite Sports Teams

Denver Broncos; Cleveland Indians; Miami Hurricanes (football); New York Knicks

Favorite Coaches

My little league AAA coach who gave me the Cy Young Award instead of the MVP, despite my having led the team in batting average, hits, RBI, and home runs (not to mention my pitching dominance)—that was a real character-builder, I'll tell ya...

All Time Sports Moment

Professional: John Elway's Super Bowl dive; Gambling: $20 on Mine That Bird to win the 2009 Kentucky Derby; Personal: that one time I did that one thing.

Most Memorable Game Attended

Some A's vs. Indians game where it rained and rained and rained, and we just sat through it in the bleachers drinking oddly warm Evan Williams and Coke.

Most Unbreakable Sports Record

That one time I broke that one record.

Ruth or Mays?

Dr. Ruth is a Sorbonne-trained psychologist, specializing in sex therapy, who is cute as a little old button and dare I say a national treasure. Dr. Mays is some board-certified psychiatrist in Leawood, Kansas. So, I mean, take a guess.

Unitas or Montana?

The Unitas Hotel is in Prague, Czech Republic, and it has earned a 9.4/10 rating on praguehotels.cz, and offers air-conditioned rooms and a DVD player. Montana is state in the U.S.A. with a really big sky and more horses than people. So, the Unitas Hotel.

Jordan or Russell?

This is a trick question. The answer is: Heard Island and the McDonald Islands.

Gretzky or Orr?

The Canadian guy.

Pele or Maradona?

Roberto Baggio.

Federer or Sampras?

Is that golf?

Tiger or Nicklaus?

Is that swimming?

Petty or Earnhardt?

I say, do not show up to a wedding or funeral without a bottle of grappa.

Schumacher or Senna?

The race car driver.

ACC, Big 12, Big East, Big Ten, Pac-12 or SEC?

Baseball.