Jake Rake Article Archive

B/R Articles

Wealthy Redneck Briefly Pitches in World Series Game

For anyone overwhelmed and surprised by A.J. Burnett’s early exit in Monday night’s World Series Game Five against the Phillies, here is some Earth-shattering news: A.J. Burnett totally sucks...

Written by Jake Rake about 28 days ago 71 reads 0 comments
Jayson Stark Terrible, By Way of Chone Figgins

"I see Chone Figgins as the most attractive position player out there this winter.” -Jayson “WITH A ‘Y’ MOTHERF***ERS” Stark As anyone who pays any attention to baseball knows, obtaining ...

Written by Jake Rake about 2 months ago 108 reads 0 comments
Orlando Cabrera Randomly Hitting His Way into the Record Books

With 10 sacrifice flies on the season heading into Thursday’s games, Twins shortstop Orlando Cabrera is tied with some guy named Marlon Byrd for the American League lead in that category...

Written by Jake Rake about 2 months ago 76 reads 0 comments
Guys To Remove from Baseball's Hall of Fame

Normal 0 0 1 295 1686 14 3 2070 11.1282 0 0 0 In preparation of the establishment of my own Baseball Hall of Fame to replace the Hall of Subjective Moralizing and Politics in Cooperstown, ...

Written by Jake Rake about 2 months ago 354 reads 4 comments
Let's Face It: Pete Rose is Not Hall Of Fame Material

It’s apparently that time of year again, when ESPN trots out one of their “Senior” writers. In this case Jayson (the "Y" is for "Yes, it's necessary") Stark, to enlighten the ...

Written by Jake Rake about 3 months ago 254 reads 9 comments
Baseball Press Ignores Zack Greinke's Greatness

Over his past six starts, Kansas City Royals ace and American League All-Star Zack Greinke has gone 0-6. CBSSports.com, the former Sportsline...

Written by Jake Rake about 3 months ago 105 reads 2 comments
Seattle Mariners: "We Choose To Lose!"

The Seattle Mariners are a bizarrely-run sports franchise. Playing in the easiest division in baseball to reach the postseason, the team has now failed to do so for seven consecutive seasons...

Written by Jake Rake about 4 months ago 451 reads 15 comments
Make No Mistake, Jeff Francoeur Still Sucks

12 games and 52 plate appearances into his tenure as a New York Met, Jeff Francoeur has yet to draw a walk. This is hardly surprising, as the formerly well-regarded Atlanta Brave had walked in just 4...

Written by Jake Rake about 4 months ago 204 reads 3 comments
Ichiro San: I Hate You Vol. II

I wrote a column about a year ago outlining my disgust with the way Ichiro Suzuki plays baseball, and moreover, the constant fellatio he receives from baseball writers and fans...

Written by Jake Rake about 4 months ago 60 reads 1 comments
List Of Guys Who Will Become Guys

The “Guy” is an important character in the world of major league baseball. The term may have been coined by esteemed thinker and current roadie Eric Ripps and refers to those dudes ...

Written by Jake Rake about 4 months ago 147 reads 2 comments
ESPN Needs To Take Responsibility For Its Writers

Well, looks like we can add Chris Sprow to the list of people who, regardless of what their business cards say, have no business writing about baseball...

Written by Jake Rake about 5 months ago 73 reads 0 comments
Heretofore Woeful Cleveland Indians Could Still Win AL Central

The A.L. Central, like its Western-division brethren and the entire National League, is full of bad teams. The division’s first-place Detroit Tigers enter Tuesday’s games with a run differential that would rank fifth in the A...

Written by Jake Rake about 5 months ago 138 reads 3 comments
Rays' Ben Zobrist Channeling Youkilis

On July 12, 2006, the Tampa Bay then-Devil Rays traded their perennial cleanup hitter, Aubrey Huff, to the Houston Astros, who were looking to supplement their lineup with a bat capable of posting an ...

Written by Jake Rake about 5 months ago 201 reads 0 comments
Jayson Stark Is Stupid: MLB Draft Needs To Include Foreign Players

Jayson Stark sucks. While this is hardly breaking news, it seemed like an appropriate introduction to today’s diatribe about Stark’s lengthy column on ESPN...

Written by Jake Rake about 5 months ago 173 reads 1 comments
Almost Time For Stephen Strasburg To Be Ruined By the Washington Nationals

Stephen Strasburg is too good for college baseball. Entering the 2009 season as the top collegiate pitcher in the country, the San Diego State right hander has somehow managed to elevate his ...

Written by Jake Rake about 6 months ago 289 reads 1 comments
Baseball Hall of Fame Losing Relevance

I was at the gym the other day (these pecs aren’t going to wail on themselves) and I happen to catch a segment of one of ESPN’s talking head panel shows on one of the standard-issue ...

Written by Jake Rake about 6 months ago 57 reads 0 comments
One Middling Month Does Nothing To Quell CC Sabathia's Awesomeness

With the boo-birds out in full force over CC Sabathia’s slow start to his first season as a Yankee, baseball fans prove that they can always be counted on to completely miss the point...

Written by Jake Rake about 7 months ago 18 reads 0 comments
Can the Seattle Mariners Compete Despite Never Getting on Base?

The race is on, as the number of regular players who have yet to draw a walk in 2009 is down to three:Yuniesky Betancourt (53 PA)Bengie Molina (54 PA)Ichiro Suzuki (33 PA)Not surprisingly, considering ...

Written by Jake Rake about 7 months ago 134 reads 2 comments
Yankees' Chien-Ming Wang Is HIlariously Bad at Pitching

It's the second inning of a Yankees game, so you know what's going on: Chien-Ming Wang is out of the game and has allowed a zillion runs...

Written by Jake Rake about 7 months ago 224 reads 0 comments
Thoughts from MLB's Day One

Way to go, Adam Jones, reaching base five times including a triple, as the O’s knocked around CC Sabathia and the Yankees. In the same game, Brian Roberts was caught stealing and picked off of first base...

Written by Jake Rake about 7 months ago 34 reads 0 comments
Hayden Penn: R.I.P. Great Orioles Hope

The Hayden Penn Era in Baltimore will now officially never happen, as the once-prized right-hander, deemed “untouchable” by the Orioles during negotiations with the Marlins for a possible trade for A...

Written by Jake Rake about 8 months ago 167 reads 1 comments
Detroit Tigers Should Be Ashamed To Hold Home Opener on Good Friday

The Detroit Tigers baseball franchise should be ashamed of itself. By scheduling the team’s 2009 home opener on Good Friday the organization is sending a clear message to the greater ...

Written by Jake Rake about 8 months ago 204 reads 3 comments
Why Team USA's World Baseball Classic Loss Is No Big Deal

In an editorial in The New York Times on Tuesday, William C. Rhoden explores the reasons why the United States’ contingent lost to that of Japan in Sunday night’s semifinal game of ...

Written by Jake Rake about 8 months ago 253 reads 5 comments
Mike Rizzo The Man For The Job WIth Washington Nationals

I hate to let down my fans, but I write today in praise of the Washington Nationals, who, in a rare act of competence, have made a very good decision in temporarily handing their baseball operations ...

Written by Jake Rake about 9 months ago 163 reads 0 comments
Brian Roberts: More Than Just A Leadoff Guy For Baltimore Orioles

"The one thing I talked to my agent about is that everyone says I'm a speed guy, and speed will go down as I age. But I don't really play like a speed guy. For one, I've never been a guy that gets out of the batter's box very quickly...

Written by Jake Rake about 9 months ago 78 reads 0 comments

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Jake Rake Article Archive

Wealthy Redneck Briefly Pitches in World Series Game

Jayson Stark Terrible, By Way of Chone Figgins

Orlando Cabrera Randomly Hitting His Way into the Record Books

Guys To Remove from Baseball's Hall of Fame

Let's Face It: Pete Rose is Not Hall Of Fame Material

Baseball Press Ignores Zack Greinke's Greatness

Seattle Mariners: "We Choose To Lose!"

Make No Mistake, Jeff Francoeur Still Sucks

Ichiro San: I Hate You Vol. II

List Of Guys Who Will Become Guys

ESPN Needs To Take Responsibility For Its Writers

Heretofore Woeful Cleveland Indians Could Still Win AL Central

Rays' Ben Zobrist Channeling Youkilis

Jayson Stark Is Stupid: MLB Draft Needs To Include Foreign Players

Almost Time For Stephen Strasburg To Be Ruined By the Washington Nationals

Baseball Hall of Fame Losing Relevance

One Middling Month Does Nothing To Quell CC Sabathia's Awesomeness

Can the Seattle Mariners Compete Despite Never Getting on Base?

Yankees' Chien-Ming Wang Is HIlariously Bad at Pitching

Thoughts from MLB's Day One

Hayden Penn: R.I.P. Great Orioles Hope

Detroit Tigers Should Be Ashamed To Hold Home Opener on Good Friday

Why Team USA's World Baseball Classic Loss Is No Big Deal

Mike Rizzo The Man For The Job WIth Washington Nationals

Brian Roberts: More Than Just A Leadoff Guy For Baltimore Orioles

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