The Sports Comedian Article Archive

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ESPN Fires Man Who Accidentally Puts WNBA Headline On Homepage(Satire)

Visitors to ESPN.com were shocked this morning when an editing snafu landed a horrific headline onto the front page of their website. At approximately 6:34 AM, a story appeared about a player from the WNBA's Minnesota Lynx missing the rest of the season..

Written by The Sports Comedian about 5 months ago 194 reads 3 comments
David Blaine To Try Surviving Entire Season as Detroit Lions Fan (Satire)

David Blaine, the street magician who is famous for his long term stunts, such as being submerged in water for 30 days or hung above New York for weeks on end, has announced he will begin a new stunt this September...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 5 months ago 813 reads 12 comments
Lucky No Good Piece Of Sh*t Bastard Impregnates Second Model(Satire)

Apparently that lucky son of a bitch Tom Brady has impregnated his second super model with a child, this time his new wife, Gisele Bunchen. The no good bastard says he and his wife are very happy to be expecting their first child...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 5 months ago 169 reads 7 comments
Kobe Bryant Proves He Can Win Championship Without Rick Fox (Satire)

Kobe Bryant silenced his critics this past weekend by winning his first NBA Championship without the help of Rick Fox...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 5 months ago 336 reads 10 comments
Management Fire All Washington Nationals Players, Keep Coaching Staff (Satire)

Unhappy with the way the team has performed so far this season, Washington Nationals management fired all their players today in an unprecedented move...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 5 months ago 135 reads 2 comments
MLB Network to Show NFL Preseason Games to Boost Ratings (Satire)

MLB Network today announced a deal with the National Football League to carry 14 preseason games this upcoming August, in an attempt to boost sagging ratings. "This is an exciting deal for this network," said MLB Network president Rich Yarborough...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 5 months ago 142 reads 2 comments
Michael Vick Now Available to Any Team Looking for QB Downgrade (Satire)

Michael Vick was officially released by the Atlanta Falcons today, meaning he is now a free agent. Known for being a great athlete, but not such a stellar passer, it has been wondered where Vick might land...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 5 months ago 494 reads 5 comments
NHL Offers to End Debate: Just Let LeBron Be Their Best Player Ever

The NHL has extended an offer to LeBron James to officially declare him the best player in hockey history, if only he will come play for the league and help bring a little of his publicity...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 5 months ago 229 reads 0 comments
Man Jailed After Tricking Friends into Watching Soccer

A man is serving jail time tonight after his friends called 911 when they discovered they had been invited over to his apartment to watch soccer...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 5 months ago 113 reads 1 comments
Referee Thanks Player for Help Making Game-Deciding Call (Satire)

It's great when you see good teamwork out there on the basketball floor. Nowhere was it more apparent than during the end to Sunday's regulation time when Courtney Lee missed an alley-oop layup with a chance to win the game...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 186 reads 3 comments
NBA To Start Boston Celtics In Place of Magic for Game Three (Satire)

After a poor showing in their first game and failing to deliver in the clutch in their second, the NBA league office has announced it will bench the Orlando Magic for Game Three in favor of the Boston Celtics...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 284 reads 1 comments
ESPN Score Ticker Takes Job At CNN (Satire)

The ESPN Sports Score Ticker held a press conference today to announce that it had signed a new deal with CNN to become their new ticker...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 94 reads 0 comments
LeBron To Play Next Season With Cavaliers In Knicks Uniform (Satire)

The Cleveland Cavaliers have unveiled some uniform changes for next season after being knocked out of the playoffs by the Orlando Magic...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 1,070 reads 2 comments
Young Marionette Accuses Kobe Bryant Puppet of Infidelity

A new report in Sports Illustrated features a young marionette in the Los Angeles area that has come forward to say she may have been involved in an extra-marital affair with the Kobe Bryant puppet over the last year...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 589 reads 1 comments
Detroit Lions Try To Send Daunte Culpepper Down To Minors (Satire)

The Detroit Lions today announced that veteran quarterback Daunte Culpepper has been designated for minor league assignment today. This leaves the starting job open for the taking by overall No...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 1,036 reads 3 comments
David Ortiz Hits Rare Complete Game

It was a magical sight today at Fenway Park, as David Ortiz put on a masterful display of guts and fortitude to hit a complete game shutout for the Boston Red Sox. After getting off to the worst start of his career in which he has compiled a sub ...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 133 reads 0 comments
Colorado Rockies No. 1 In Denver Columnist's MLB Power Rankings

Woody Paige unveiled this week's MLB Power Rankings in the Denver Post, and not surprisingly, the Colorado Rockies were again in the No. 1 spot...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 329 reads 1 comments
WNBA Give Getting People To Know Their Teams, Just Go with Ads

The WNBA announced today that they are going to stop trying to get people to remember the names of their franchises, and just go with putting advertisements on the jerseys instead...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 53 reads 0 comments
Celtics Score 21 Points During Halftime To Take Lead Over Magic (Satire)

The Boston Celtics found themselves trailing by 18 points at the half of their most recent game against the Orlando Magic in the Eastern Conference Playoffs...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 225 reads 4 comments
Media Still Has Interest in Signing Brett Favre for Offseason (Satire)

Sports media outlets were abuzz last week at the prospect of a meeting between Brett Favre and high ranking Vikings officials. But, the meeting never happened, as Favre stayed home in Mississippi, and the future hall of fame QB remained unsigned...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 90 reads 1 comments
Jason Bay: New Red Sox Outfielder's Antics Just Bay Being Bay(Satire)

When Jason Bay took over for Manny Ramirez in left field for the Boston Red Sox last season, he knew he'd have some big shoes to fill. For many years, Manny's crazy behavior had been the subject of much debate...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 6 months ago 272 reads 1 comments
Horses Continue To Rub Being Faster Than Humans in Our Face (Satire)

Horses all around the country once again held their annual celebration of being faster than humans at the Kentucky Derby on Sunday...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 7 months ago 198 reads 7 comments
Cowboys Suffer Startling Non-Metaphorical Collapse (Satire)

The Dallas Cowboys were stunned over the weekend as their practice facility in Texas collapsed during a rainstorm, injuring several people and frightening everyone inside...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 7 months ago 243 reads 11 comments
SI's Selena Roberts Nearly Out of Scandals To Accuse A-Rod of (Satire)

Despite her tell-all book on Alex Rodriguez coming out this week, Sports Illustrated's Selena Roberts may soon find herself out of a job...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 7 months ago 108 reads 0 comments
Assigning Arbitrary Letters To Team's NFL Draft Choices: Part I

The 2009 NFL Draft is now in the books and we here at TSC take a look at all the hits and misses from the event. Everyone seems intent on assigning letter grades to everything, but we are just going to assign letters...

Written by The Sports Comedian about 7 months ago 431 reads 1 comments

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The Sports Comedian Article Archive

ESPN Fires Man Who Accidentally Puts WNBA Headline On Homepage(Satire)

David Blaine To Try Surviving Entire Season as Detroit Lions Fan (Satire)

Lucky No Good Piece Of Sh*t Bastard Impregnates Second Model(Satire)

Kobe Bryant Proves He Can Win Championship Without Rick Fox (Satire)

Management Fire All Washington Nationals Players, Keep Coaching Staff (Satire)

MLB Network to Show NFL Preseason Games to Boost Ratings (Satire)

Michael Vick Now Available to Any Team Looking for QB Downgrade (Satire)

NHL Offers to End Debate: Just Let LeBron Be Their Best Player Ever

Man Jailed After Tricking Friends into Watching Soccer

Referee Thanks Player for Help Making Game-Deciding Call (Satire)

NBA To Start Boston Celtics In Place of Magic for Game Three (Satire)

ESPN Score Ticker Takes Job At CNN (Satire)

LeBron To Play Next Season With Cavaliers In Knicks Uniform (Satire)

Young Marionette Accuses Kobe Bryant Puppet of Infidelity

Detroit Lions Try To Send Daunte Culpepper Down To Minors (Satire)

David Ortiz Hits Rare Complete Game

Colorado Rockies No. 1 In Denver Columnist's MLB Power Rankings

WNBA Give Getting People To Know Their Teams, Just Go with Ads

Celtics Score 21 Points During Halftime To Take Lead Over Magic (Satire)

Media Still Has Interest in Signing Brett Favre for Offseason (Satire)

Jason Bay: New Red Sox Outfielder's Antics Just Bay Being Bay(Satire)

Horses Continue To Rub Being Faster Than Humans in Our Face (Satire)

Cowboys Suffer Startling Non-Metaphorical Collapse (Satire)

SI's Selena Roberts Nearly Out of Scandals To Accuse A-Rod of (Satire)

Assigning Arbitrary Letters To Team's NFL Draft Choices: Part I

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