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I was raised by Opossum in the Great Mountain Region of Evergreen Park, Illinois. I am an an amateur tick enthusiast and have a large collection of wet paper towels. My love for comedy came from my family and while growing up we would have Bring A Funny Friend to Dinner Night every Tuesday. I remember those fun Tuesday night dinners with friends. My friends were funny, but they didn't get it. I never knew why?!? After graduating Salutatorian from home schooling, I have never looked back. I am 37 years old and live in a studio apartment in Darien, Illinois at my parents house. I am employed as a Chef, Gardener and Maintenance man for my mom and dad and recently received most improved employee of the month. My real dream is to be a Subway Sandwich Artist.
Why the hell are you reading this, anyhow? Are you jealous that you don't have the life that I have succeeded at. In my spare time, I beat up people like all the time! Kicking ass is my game and is only secondary to my favorite hobby of setting myself on fire. Some people like playing games and socializing I prefer to spend my time crushing ice. I also like racing my fish, but since I have only one fish it's never a suprising result except for when I win.
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