Marcus Walker Article Archive

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Marcus's Half Baked Take on MMA Lookalikes

In today's column, we're going to play a little game I like to call "MMA Lookalikes" in honor of the Nogueira brothers, who in my opinion, vaguely resemble each other. Also, that picture made me laugh...

Written by Marcus Walker about 7 days ago 274 reads 11 comments
The Prognosticator Is at It Again: UFC 106 Predictions

I know, I know. Too many previews. But after my sterling performance on my UFC 105 picks, did you really think I was going to let a much better card on paper slip through my fingertips without ...

Written by Marcus Walker about 9 days ago 330 reads 10 comments
UFC 105 Couture vs. Vera: What's About To Happen

Aloha everybody! In case you haven’t noticed, every time I preview a fight card, my picks are usually about as accurate as Donald Rumsfeld’s predictions about the war in Iraq...

Written by Marcus Walker about 18 days ago 454 reads 14 comments
Fedor Emelianenko vs. Brett Rogers: Last Minute Preview

Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're about to find out if anyone out there will still read me after an unexplained six month hiatus. I'm easily as excited as Billy Madison on Nudey Magazine Day...

Written by Marcus Walker about 22 days ago 2,100 reads 10 comments
UFC 97: Everyones' Favorite Prognosticator

That's right ladies and gentleman, I'm doing another preview! I hope this doesn't turn out to be another well-documented example of how I know nothing about fighting...

Written by Marcus Walker about 7 months ago 270 reads 8 comments
Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold: A Few Rematches I'd Like to See

Rematches are often the sign of lazy matchmaking. Back in the PRIDE days, they'd go "instead of finding fresh talent to challenge Wanderlei, lets just feed him an endless string of Japanese cans, followed by a washed up Kazushi Sakuraba...

Written by Marcus Walker about 7 months ago 290 reads 9 comments
Sakurai Beats the Pants Off Aoki, and Other Ideas

I'm going to cut right to the chase and just dive into it. Without further ado... —The Detroit Lions have the No. 1 overall pick in this year's draft. Look at the last 10 No...

Written by Marcus Walker about 7 months ago 172 reads 0 comments
Darth Fedor Must Destroy the Phallic Sword

All I have to say is, WHEW! It's good to be back. It's been awhile, and it's all on me; basically, I ran out of ideas. Now you're about to discover if I have any decent ones (ideas) left...

Written by Marcus Walker about 8 months ago 554 reads 14 comments
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Lyoto Machida

Lyoto Machida is boring. We, as MMA fans, have heard it before. It's right up there with "Tito has a big head", "Rich Franklin looks like Jim Carrey," and "Dan Miragliotta had money on Kimbo"...

Written by Marcus Walker about 11 months ago 310 reads 21 comments
Steve Cantwell Represents Everything That Is Wrong With America

I, Marcus Walker, am a number of things right now—drunk, irritated, disgusted, and adamantely against anything that casts UFC newcomer Steve "The Robot" Cantwell in a positive light...

Written by Marcus Walker about 11 months ago 1,014 reads 28 comments
Characters, Quirks, and 25 Pound Ring Girls: 34 Reasons I Miss PRIDE (Part Four)

27) The commentary on the Severn-Kimo “fight” Ten minutes into this slap fest, Bas and Quadros were openly mocking both fighters. Their tone was one of urgency; one or two more stink bombs like this, and PRIDE would be out of business..

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 255 reads 8 comments
Characters, Quirks, and 25 Pound Ring Girls: 34 Reasons I Miss PRIDE (Part III)

Wondering about the Frye photo? BR wouldn't let me upload the PRIDE logo for some reason. So you're getting Don Frye. Thats' as far as the story goes...

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 401 reads 11 comments
Characters, Quirks, and 25 Pound Ring Girls: 34 Reasons I Miss PRIDE (Part Two)

Before we begin part two, allow me to apologize for not posting it this weekend as advertised. My computer and I didn’t get along so well this weekend, as the conflict culminated in me threatening to throw it off of a 10th-floor terrace...

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 329 reads 6 comments
Characters, Quirks and 25 Pound Ring Girls: 34 Reasons I Miss PRIDE (Part 1)

When the UFC bought PRIDE Fighting Championships in March of 2007, I feared that we had seen the beloved Japanese promotions’ last day...

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 455 reads 7 comments
Spotty Judging and Shredded Knees: A Shaken Man's Thoughts on UFC 89 And 90

Fresh off of my recent debacles that I thinly disguised as UFC previews, I felt like some of my thoughts needed to be shared with you, my dear reader. It's just that after that bloody plane crash of a fight that was Leben vs...

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 162 reads 5 comments
Petruzelli and His Mouth Effectively Murder Elite XC

"The promoters kinda hinted to me and they gave me the money to stand and throw with him, they didn't want me to take him down. Let's just put it that way. It was worth my while to try and stand up and punch him...

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 177 reads 0 comments
The Count Vs. The Crippler: A Comprehensive Preview Of UFC 89

Before we get started, an important note: since UFC 90 has been dilapidated by injuries, I updated my preview just for you, the reader. Check it out. Go ahead. I'll wait. Seriously, don't make me use my sick crossbow skills...

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 221 reads 13 comments
Random Thoughts While Trying Not to Look at John McCain in HD

A few random thoughts while trying to avoid looking at John McCain in HD... -- Is it just me, or is Caol Uno the ugliest woman in MMA? -- If Marcus Camby and Kenyon Martin ran head-on ...

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 184 reads 1 comments
Kimbo Sliced in 14 Seconds! My Goodness!

When journeyman Seth Petruzelli "shocked" the MMA world by "upsetting" internet sensation Kimbo Slice in just 14 heart-pounding seconds, it was more than just a win. It was a statement, one that may very well be Elite XC's swan song...

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 133 reads 3 comments
"The Ultimate Fighter" Meets "The Surreal Life"

With the UFC's bizarre endorsement of a Mark Coleman-Mauricio Rua rematch, I got another one of my great ideas. And heres a disclaimer for those of you hoping to read something serious: stop reading right now...

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 592 reads 7 comments
UFC 90 Preview: Main Card

Update: since fighters on this card have been going down like Private Ryan's platoon mates, here are a few hasty predictions...

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 174 reads 3 comments
UFC 90 Preview: Undercard

UFC 90 Preview The UFC is stuffed with talent, almost to the brink of explosion. Every card features a bevy of world title fights, talented superstars, intriguing up-and-comers, ...

Written by Marcus Walker about about 1 year ago 119 reads 2 comments

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Marcus Walker Article Archive

Marcus's Half Baked Take on MMA Lookalikes

The Prognosticator Is at It Again: UFC 106 Predictions

UFC 105 Couture vs. Vera: What's About To Happen

Fedor Emelianenko vs. Brett Rogers: Last Minute Preview

UFC 97: Everyones' Favorite Prognosticator

Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold: A Few Rematches I'd Like to See

Sakurai Beats the Pants Off Aoki, and Other Ideas

Darth Fedor Must Destroy the Phallic Sword

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Lyoto Machida

Steve Cantwell Represents Everything That Is Wrong With America

Characters, Quirks, and 25 Pound Ring Girls: 34 Reasons I Miss PRIDE (Part Four)

Characters, Quirks, and 25 Pound Ring Girls: 34 Reasons I Miss PRIDE (Part III)

Characters, Quirks, and 25 Pound Ring Girls: 34 Reasons I Miss PRIDE (Part Two)

Characters, Quirks and 25 Pound Ring Girls: 34 Reasons I Miss PRIDE (Part 1)

Spotty Judging and Shredded Knees: A Shaken Man's Thoughts on UFC 89 And 90

Petruzelli and His Mouth Effectively Murder Elite XC

The Count Vs. The Crippler: A Comprehensive Preview Of UFC 89

Random Thoughts While Trying Not to Look at John McCain in HD

Kimbo Sliced in 14 Seconds! My Goodness!

"The Ultimate Fighter" Meets "The Surreal Life"

UFC 90 Preview: Main Card

UFC 90 Preview: Undercard

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