Jack New Article Archive

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Seven Plays Dumber Than DeSean Jackson

Of course, the Philadelphia Eagles Jackson’s play was not of huge consequence (although some of the staunchest Cowboys haters were hoping for a goal-line stand, just for karma). There have been plenty of bonehead plays before his...

Written by Jack New about about 1 year ago 331 reads 3 comments
Tommy Kelly of the Oakland Raiders Busted for DUI

According to TMZ, Oakland Raider DT Tommy Kelly was arrested Sunday night in Oakland on a DUI charge. Normally, I would say Kelly was probably drinking another Raiders loss away, but Oakland actually beat the Chiefs this week...

Written by Jack New about about 1 year ago 658 reads 2 comments
Tony Kornheiser Sticks Foot in Mouth During Cowboys-Eagles Game

The NFL is celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month. Last night, on MNF, ESPN played a clip of a Spanish announcer. Tony Kornheiser said, “I took high school Spanish, either he said he’s ...

Written by Jack New about about 1 year ago 714 reads 10 comments
Jake Roberts Shows His Snake to Wrestling Crowd

Former WWE star Jake "The Snake" Roberts had a total meltdown in Ohio over the weekend. In video supplied by TMZ (http://www.tmz.com/2008/09/15/jake-the-snake-implodes/), a very fat, out of shape Roberts is seen in what must be a drunken, stoned state...

Written by Jack New about about 1 year ago 689 reads 2 comments
Call Anna Rawson, World's Hottest Athlete

In what could be a too good to be true scenario, former University of Southern California golfer Anna Rawson has posted her phone number on her personal web site. Feel free to call her at 213-785-7676...

Written by Jack New about about 1 year ago 531 reads 3 comments
The Chicago Cubs Suck Worse Than Danger Beach

The Cubs have lost eight of their previous nine games. While they still have the most wins in the National League, nobody in the city is feeling excited. The Milwaukee Brewers trail the cubs by 4...

Written by Jack New about about 1 year ago 517 reads 4 comments
Slovakia Beat Bulgaria 82-0 in Women’s Hockey

Bulgaria might be the worst sports team in the world. In their 4 game Olympic Qualifying tournament, they lost by a combined 192-1! First, to answer the question, yes women’s hockey is a sport...

Written by Jack New about about 1 year ago 121 reads 4 comments
Fan Challenges Terrell Owens to a 100-Meter Race for $25,000

Last week, Terrell Owens was quoted on HBO’s Hard Knocks as saying, “I could beat Usain Bolt if I got a 20-yard had start.” I am not impressed by this at all. I hope an NFL Pro Bowl wide receiver could beat Bolt in this race...

Written by Jack New about about 1 year ago 294 reads 14 comments
Chicago is Entering Seinfeld's Bizarro World

In analyzing the Chicago Bears and Chicago Cubs, it is clear something strange is going on. My conclusion is that Chicago is currently Bizarro Chicago. Let me break it down for you. Bizarro Cedric Benson is Matt Forte...

Written by Jack New about about 1 year ago 231 reads 2 comments
Why Matt Cassel Will Start for the Entire Season for the New England Patriots

Many people have called to New England to reunite Daunte Culpepper and Randy Moss. I disagree. Even when he was a fantasy monster, Culpepper was an inaccurate quarterback who could run and throw bombs...

Written by Jack New about about 1 year ago 476 reads 6 comments

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Jack New Article Archive

Seven Plays Dumber Than DeSean Jackson

Tommy Kelly of the Oakland Raiders Busted for DUI

Tony Kornheiser Sticks Foot in Mouth During Cowboys-Eagles Game

Jake Roberts Shows His Snake to Wrestling Crowd

Call Anna Rawson, World's Hottest Athlete

The Chicago Cubs Suck Worse Than Danger Beach

Slovakia Beat Bulgaria 82-0 in Women’s Hockey

Fan Challenges Terrell Owens to a 100-Meter Race for $25,000

Chicago is Entering Seinfeld's Bizarro World

Why Matt Cassel Will Start for the Entire Season for the New England Patriots

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