1. New England Patriots: Deion Branch Returns As Bill Belichick Releases a Hostage

    Apparently, Bill Belichick, the fearless leader of the Patriots (also known, to those who've played for him, as Mr. Bigglesworth) was pleased with his team's 23-20 overtime victory on Sunday...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about over 3 years ago 307 reads 2 comments

  2. Brett Favre and His Mighty Fall From Grace (Now With 72% More Penis)

    No Patriots this week. So today, I'm going to talk about Zombie Favre and his mighty penis, heretofore known as Little Z. I want you all to take a journey back with me, all the way to the 2007 season...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 4 years ago 1,284 reads 3 comments

  3. Tom Brady Says Goodbye To Randy Moss: The Butterfly Madman!

    I'm screwing up my writing schedule, but I don't care: The butterfly man is gone. Today, the Patriots , in celebration of their thrashing of the Dolphins , traded away the most ...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 4 years ago 108 reads 0 comments

  4. Tom Brady and His Lovable Band of The Patriotic Scoring Bandits

    The androids are replicating... ...But we'll talk about that more later. For now, it's all about scoring! Last night, in front of millions of Monday Night Football fans until about ...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 4 years ago 417 reads 0 comments

  5. Tom Brady Slays While Defense Looks For Leprechauns

    Bom is dead! After being humiliated by his evil twin brother last week, the gorgeous, chiseled supermodel-turned-quarterback Tom Brady took up his shield and sword and struck down his ...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 4 years ago 398 reads 0 comments

  6. A Patriotic Tale Of The Two Tom Brady's

    A lot of stuff happened yesterday: I went peach picking and got a big bag of delicious, juicy peaches. I also ate some wonderful ice cream make from a local farm and I even did a little cleaning around the house...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 4 years ago 589 reads 0 comments

  7. Androids Need Love, Too, and Randy Moss Is Loved By All!

    Oh, Moss...Today, as all days, should have been about Brady. That gorgeous man with the dimples that practically touch each other brushed off a blitz from a mini van, took the football ...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 4 years ago 135 reads 0 comments

  8. Zombies, Swift and Pigskin: Together at Last

    What an off-season it has been! A lot of very notable and very important and not at all forgettable things happened, but tragically the only thing I can remember is Brett Favre dying, coming back to life and trying to steal the Lombardi from New Orleans..

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 4 years ago 63 reads 0 comments

  9. New England Patriots: Still Alive—Commentary

    First and foremost, don't ask about the picture; I just thought it looked odd and might raise some eyebrows. Also, before I can say anything else, I have to remark: the Phillies won the World Series? Really? Like, seriously? Man...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about over 5 years ago 515 reads 2 comments

  10. New England Patriots: Still Alive

    I am still waiting for the collapse. When Brady went down, everyone assumed the Patriots' 2008 season was a lost cause. Then they lost Maroney, and the pessimism got even worse. Harrison certainly didn't help matters, either...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about over 5 years ago 3,133 reads 16 comments

  11. Wake Me in 2009

    Wait... Hold on... Let me see if I have this straight... The Red Sox, who won the 2004 ALCS after being down 3-0 against the Yankees, lost? The Red Sox, who won the 2007 ALCS after ...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about over 5 years ago 319 reads 0 comments

  12. The Greatest Time Of The Year

    This is the greatest time of the year! Forget Christmas and New Years or any of that nonsense. This is it, right here! Football season is in full swing and baseball playoffs are kicking ...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about over 5 years ago 170 reads 0 comments

  13. Alexander Has Nothing On Me

    The Sox lost Sunday and I refuse to even mention the Patriots. I still have high hopes for the Sox, but I just don't feel like writing about such things until my heart quiets down...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about over 5 years ago 148 reads 0 comments

  14. Red Sox vs Rays

    Well that was a whole lot easier than I thought it was going to be. No offense, Angels fans, but I'm being serious. The Angels were the major league's best team in 2008...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 633 reads 1 comments

  15. All You Need Is Lester

    Take a seat and chill, Josh; My man Lester got yo' back, foo'! Okay, maybe that "street" talk wasn't appropriate coming from the fingers of the whitest Irish man in the northern hemisphere...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 396 reads 1 comments

  16. Nachos Required

    The streak continues. No! Not that streak. Put your pants back on. I'm talking about the Red Sox. Yesterday they extended their winning streak in the ALDS against the Angels to nine games...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 481 reads 3 comments

  17. Red Sox vs Angels

    It is time, my people, to rise up, stand proud, turn on our television sets and sit right back down to enjoy some good ol' fashioned Boston playoff baseball! And maybe some beef chili.....

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 2,063 reads 9 comments

  18. It's Coming...

    Can you see it, off in the distance? It's a slight glow, and it's as if it's coming from the future...It feels almost magical, and comforting like a blanket on a cold fall evening...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 437 reads 1 comments

  19. Congratulations, Florida!

    No, I don't mean the Dolphins. As far as I'm concerned that game wasn't worthy of its own article because it would be mostly whining and crying, and no one wants that. I blame myself, really...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 592 reads 8 comments

  20. Hochuli Is My Hero

    Hitler is ice skating in hell right now. Does anyone remember that Subway commercial just a few months ago where the referee came on over the sound system and announced that he "totally ...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 2,014 reads 3 comments

  21. Brady Who?

    That odd noise you heard around 7:30 yesterday wasn't the wind or a ghost. It was the sound of several million Patriots fans all exhaling at once. They had been holding their breath for nearly a week, so I'm sure it was quite loud even miles away...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 649 reads 0 comments

  22. Returning to Fenway?

    I've made an important decision in my life: I want the Dodgers to square off against the Red Sox in the World Series. Calm down LA, I don't want you to win. I just want you to go. In long-standing tradition with myself, I of course want the Red Sox to win

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 724 reads 1 comments

  23. The Flying Angel

    Does Francisco Rodriguez think he can fly? He looks like he's trying to take off when he finishes his pitches...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 847 reads 0 comments

  24. Lance Armstrong: At It Again

    Okay, Lance, we get it: You're awesome. This guy is so awesome he could make Gandhi feel like a failure. In 1996 he was diagnosed with brain, lung, abdominal and testicular cancer, all at once...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 503 reads 0 comments

  25. The Rays Are Still in First?

    I think I'm the last one left alive who still can't understand how the Rays are still in first place. I try to understand, but my brain keeps crashing when I think of it, and I start to drool rather embarrassingly...

    Bryan Healey Written by Bryan Healey about almost 6 years ago 320 reads 0 comments