Generating profile stats...
Yossarian has yet to fill out a bio.
Elijah Hydes posted 138 days ago
I was on a date today and you came up briefly. Then it hit me who you are. I know it. I don't know why I didn't see it before. And you are a bastard and a coward.
Lauren and I are engaged.
Elijah Hydes posted 447 days ago
you're*
Elijah Hydes posted 447 days ago
You really need to stop stalking Lauren and I. What your doing is very illegal. In fact, it's a felony.
Yossarian does not have any awards.
Bet you are sick of me now. You want to get rid of me? It’s easy. You can delete me from Facebook and your life. I am going to give you a chance to figure it out but it will be pyrrhic. I am going to give you a clue.
CLUE: Before Lauren vacationed the loop, she received some multiple amorous communications from some dude in the US. She probably showed this to very few people. One was a PCV I was dating. Once you assess who she showed the letters to, you can figure out who I am. That list should be pretty narrow.
You see. I am betting on a few things. You’re too scared to ask her because deep down you don’t want to see the truth. If you ask, she is faced with a choice. 1 – Tell you the truth and expose a flaw in your relationship. She was professing her love to you while writing someone in the US. While you were on contract/punished, she was emailing and writing someone stateside. 2 – Lie to you and protect herself (oh Ely, plutard, there are no letters/he was just a friend/it’s a misunderstanding). This, perversely, protects me. It protects the relationship short-term but continues the lie. It puts her before the relationship. Dude, how is she going to tell someone who left the Peace Corps and changed their life course they had a thing on the side when they returned? She has to lie. You’re too conceited to see it. Hell, how does one go from “I miss you and will write/call” to having them show up on the doorstep ready to follow you wherever you are going? You see Peace Corps is short term. There is a shelf date to it. It’s easier to write love letters for a year than floss together for the next 50+ years. Divulging this tidbit isn’t good especially for someone who just left Africa for you. It’s a hellish guilt trip. But, eventually all evil deeds surface. Good thing I won’t be around to see it. You reaped what you sowed in Niger.
I also believe you are that egotistical to think Lauren is incapable of such behavior. The same PCV who skinny dipped with male PCVs in Ghana? OK. You’ll think I’m lying and dismiss it. That’s cool because I’m not trying to convince you. It’s not my problem to work through. In time it will dawn on you. The truth will surface sooner or later. The same arrogance that led you to think Lauren was going to re-up in that oppressive culture, weather conditions, Peace Corps morale and chauvinistic society for you also blinds you. She could have deferred or stopped studying for GREs but didn’t. She kept right on going I bet. That says a lot. Anyways good luck with that and see you on Facebook.
793 days ago
So let's see...I'm in Niamey. I finally made it out of my village after 2 1/2 months. No major hold ups, other than the giardia thing. I didn't go too crazy...although I did almost kill a small child. In my defense the little tike deserved it. Not death. But a good scaring. I like all the children in my village except one. Usually it's the 18-30 age group that I have problems with. But there's this one child. He's the only child who has no respect for me, my things, or my rules. I've talked to his mother on numerous occasions about disciplining her son. I've told her if she doesn't punish him, I will, and he won't like it.
She didn't do anything. He's just grabby and disrespectful and is constantly testing me. So the day before I left it was really bad. He kept trying to grab me, and step on my infected toe. So I grabbed him
and told him to stop or I'd beat him up. I get to my house and close the concession door, only to have it kicked down by him. My door is a very insecure millet stalk door that doesn't latch. So I put it back
up, and tell him to go away. He kicks it down again and runs to what he thinks is a safe distance. At this point he's just showing off for his friends. He's about 5 or 6. I put it up real calm-like, and of course he kicks it down again. So I lost it and sprinted after him. No one in my village has ever seen me run like that. I don't usually have need to sprint. In fact they all probably think I'm lethargic and can't do work unless it's teaching. So when this little bastard saw me closing in his seemingly safe berth from me, he freaked out and started screaming this terrified, blood curdling scream. I wasn't to be deterred. I reached him and grabbed him by the ribcage with the intention of holding him up and berrating him. The problem was I forgot how small he was. Or how strong I was. Either way, I don't pick him up, but rather fling him into the air, I tried to catch him, but he was kicking and screaming. I finally got a hold of his ankles and held him upside down telling him never to ever set foot in my concession of even look at me. He lost it. Freaked out. He kicked loose, and almost landed on his his head, but I awkwardly caught him inches from the ground. He ran off, and I retreated to my house, where I could hear him screaming that same terrifying scream for a half hour.
793 days ago
1- Originally you used ‘bastard’, now the child has a name (ps I have your deleted blog entry below).
2- I did a lot of things in Agadez. I also didn’t do a lot of things. Off all the things I didn’t do, one included assaulting a child. I was proudest of not throwing a child like a rag doll, then holding said child upside down and yelling at him. Pretty proud about that. EVERYONE went through a tough patch Mustapha. The female volunteers moreso. It’s how you deal with it that defines you. That act tells me more than our conversations. Other volunteers in similar situations never accosted a kid, much less blog about it.
3- The excuses you give are just that…excuses. Days blended together one day after another...blah blah.. save the lamentations. No matter how hard you had it, how mistreated you were, or how much you nail yourself to the proverbial baobab tree….that child was still a child. Nothing will change that. You’re 24, that child was 7 at the most. You were 24. The child was not even 7. He was never yours to discipline.
4- Additionally...did you ever stop to think your actions caused you to be placed under contract? Still unable to accept blame for your actions, eh? Mary Abrams didn’t pick you out of a hat to torment. You came to goof around and your world was shaken that you were required more than just party, smoke pot and travel. You left first chance after Lauren did. The mere thought of you being credited for serving in the Peace Corps is farcical and denigrates the goals of the Peace Corps. It certainly devalues my RPCV status to be lumped with you. It disgusts me. How you got away with this and more (your drug use for example) was beyond me.
5- The lack of remorse in the original blog incenses me as much as the act. That says more about you than losing control. After reflecting on it you wrote as if the child deserved it and blame the kid. You now write with contrition and use the child’s name in some befriending connection since you’ve been exposed and rightfully called out. Initially you weren’t sorry.
6- At least I never said you hit a kid but if you don’t think you did anything wrong, I have bad news for you. People from Peace Corps HQ in DC came here to investigate you. It’s the only reason why I knew about your blog. Everyone knows what you did. Everyone. Rumor has it your only saving graces was your blog contained no actual names to investigate (or talk to) and the OIG came after you left.
7- Most importantly, this is why people think you are a child abuser:
“Either way, I don't pick him up, but rather fling him into the air, I tried to catch him, but he was kicking and screaming. I finally got a hold of his ankles and held him upside down telling him never to ever set foot in my concession of even look at me.”
You admit you crossed the line and are specifically vague if you actually caught him. I find it hard to believe you couldn’t grab his torso but had no problem catching a kicking child’s ankles. Truthfully, I think he hit the ground and you picked him up and yelled at him like a beast. At best you’re a bad writer (contradicting other entries). At worst, you lied. I’m more inclined to believe your original blog than revisionist history. I know you are going to defend yourself, but won’t believe you. You crossed a clear black/white line and got away with it. If you did this in the US, you would have been in jail. You took advantage of the system, the same one you rail against. And you took this entry out because you were being criticized? You can hurt a 7 y/o and blog about it but not be scolded for it afterwards? THAT BOTHERS YOU? My suggestion. Leave it in. People will know who you for who you really are. Someone who declares war against injustice but exploits the loopholes of the same bureaucracy they lambast. One who professes to hold true to an ideologue while breaking the canons of that same ideology.
793 days ago
Hey Mustapha....say hello to Lauren Maloney for me. Do I have you strict attention now ?Read your latest article comment. to figure our who I am.
821 days ago
Look at your writing, look at mine. Sadly it isn’t mine. Now look at your team, now look at Duke.
Gladly, your team isn't mine- but if they stopped using lady scented body wash, they could at least smell like a winner.
Look down, back up. Where are you? You are on a boat, with the team your team could smell like. What’s that in your hand, back at me, It's an oyster with two tickets to that THING you love.
Look again, the tickets are now DIAMONDS!
Look again, the Diamonds are NCAA titles!
Anything is possible when your team smells like a man and not a lady.
I'm on a horse. Your team is on a donkey
827 days ago
Yossarian is not a member of any communities.
Yossarian does not have any favorite writers.