warren groomer Article Archive

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Lions Accept Federal Bailout: Unforeseen Economic Backlash Causes Panic

Detroit, MI - In an effort to bolster sagging ticket sales for his beleaguered NFL franchise, Lions owner William Clay Ford has accepted a $200 million Obama administration bailout designed to lower ticket prices to levels obtainable to the average fan.

Written by warren groomer about 9 months ago 203 reads 2 comments
Hooping It Up in DC: Obama Stacks the Deck

If you caught the article in Sports Illustrated "The Audacity of Hoops", you've got to be alarmed with the newly appointed president's overt attempts to assemble the most dominate government level pick-up basketball team in the post World War II era...

Written by warren groomer about 10 months ago 62 reads 0 comments
Mark Sanchez's Divorce To Pete Carroll Means Changes in the Land of Plenty

You've heard it, I've heard it, we've all heard it before. "Can we still be friends" is the final cop-out in any relationship gone bad...

Written by warren groomer about 10 months ago 407 reads 0 comments
BCS Football Playoff Model Leaked

I Eugene, Oregon - In an effort to suppress growing discontent for the current "method" of selecting college football's Division-I national champion, BCS president David Frohnmayer addressed ...

Written by warren groomer about 10 months ago 636 reads 6 comments
I Hate Tom Brady: Five Reasons You Should Too

Greed, sloth, wrath...yada, yada, yada. I know it’s one of the big seven, but I hate the guy anyway. Envy, according to Pope Gregory, will get you a luxury box seat for the Lake of Fire Bowl...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 911 reads 0 comments
Barry Bonds Case: How Do You Define Vague?

I happened to read an article a few days ago where Barry Bonds' lawyers asked for a dismissal of his indictment on the grounds that the questions asked by the grand jury were vague and confusing...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 1,206 reads 4 comments
Super Bowl Moved From Arizona—New Location Revealed

People do a lot of things on Super Bowl Sunday they wouldn’t normally do. Drink too much? Yeah. Bet on football? Maybe just this game...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 743 reads 3 comments
WVU Football: Rich Rodriguez Agrees To Pay in Full!

Expressing remorse over the escalation of the troubling situation and concern for his reputation as well as the reputations of West Virginia University and University of Michigan, Rich Rodriguez has agreed to pay WVU a sum of $4,000,000...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 5,190 reads 19 comments
The Empire Strikes Back: WVU Responds to Rogriquez

West Virginia University President David Hardesty, Jr. exhibited class and professionalism today while pressed for answers concerning former coach Rich Rodriguez's "ass whoopin'" comments earlier this week...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 1,554 reads 22 comments
Who Wants a Piece?: Rich Rodriguez Tells WVU Where To Get Off

Ann Arbor, MI — In a recent telephone interview, Rich Rodriguez lashed out at West Virginia University President Mike Garrison and his staff saying, "You don't want any of this! If somebody wants a piece, come and get it...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 4,110 reads 23 comments
College FB: Top 10 Reasons SEC Teams Don't Travel North

With all due deference to David Letterman, I present to you the Top 10 Reasons SEC teams like to keep it close to home... 10. Green card revoked at Mason-Dixon Line.9. Mule can't pull team wagon that far...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 709 reads 13 comments
Masters Shocker: Mike Weir Surrenders Green Jacket

Augusta, GA — In an unprecedented Sunday evening ceremony, Mike Weir returned the coveted Green Jacket awarded him for his 2003 Masters victory, after Augusta National members discovered ...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 931 reads 0 comments
Report: Wardrobe Dispute Led to Nick Saban's Departure from Miami

Tuscaloosa, AL — In a recent GQ article, embattled Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban revealed that an ongoing and irreconcilable dispute with the Miami Dolphins wardrobe staff, not a looming ...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 1,469 reads 5 comments
Les Miles' Wild Ride: The BCS Trophy Hits the Road

New Orleans, LA — In a shocking postgame statement, LSU coach Les Miles vowed to let his players take the BCS trophy "on the road"—and share it with every university which might have claim to it...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 1,135 reads 22 comments
BCS Championship Game: LSU Fans Promise to Stay "Liquored Up"

New Orleans, LA — Early morning interviews on WWL-TV, the local CBS affiliate, revealed a rogue faction of LSU fans vowing anarchy in the run-up to the BCS Championship Game.Spotted at S...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 950 reads 16 comments
Sooner Charity: Oklahoma Volunteers Services as Bowl Opponent

Norman, OK — In an effort to demonstrate Oklahoma's willingness to play "anybody, anywhere, anytime, on any field," Sooners coach Bob Stoops today made an impassioned plea to bowl committees nationwide...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 1,238 reads 4 comments
Split National Championship?: Pete Carroll Romances the AP

Pasadena, CA — In an 11th-hour appeal to AP reporters around the country, Pete Carroll today professed his undying love for the AP—and apologized for the 2005 snub that left many AP writers confused and perplexed...

Written by warren groomer about about 1 year ago 1,641 reads 25 comments

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warren groomer Article Archive

Lions Accept Federal Bailout: Unforeseen Economic Backlash Causes Panic

Hooping It Up in DC: Obama Stacks the Deck

Mark Sanchez's Divorce To Pete Carroll Means Changes in the Land of Plenty

BCS Football Playoff Model Leaked

I Hate Tom Brady: Five Reasons You Should Too

Barry Bonds Case: How Do You Define Vague?

Super Bowl Moved From Arizona—New Location Revealed

WVU Football: Rich Rodriguez Agrees To Pay in Full!

The Empire Strikes Back: WVU Responds to Rogriquez

Who Wants a Piece?: Rich Rodriguez Tells WVU Where To Get Off

College FB: Top 10 Reasons SEC Teams Don't Travel North

Masters Shocker: Mike Weir Surrenders Green Jacket

Report: Wardrobe Dispute Led to Nick Saban's Departure from Miami

Les Miles' Wild Ride: The BCS Trophy Hits the Road

BCS Championship Game: LSU Fans Promise to Stay "Liquored Up"

Sooner Charity: Oklahoma Volunteers Services as Bowl Opponent

Split National Championship?: Pete Carroll Romances the AP

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