Jeff Eff

Jeff Eff

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About

I'm a Pisces. I'm an American, a curmudgeon, bug-a-boo, minimally invasive, banal, neat, staid, flummoxed, cocktoastin’, tall, effete, meaty, short, licentious, Pyrrhonian, buttocked, askance, live, overt, covert, stain-resistant, lost, dumb, reality-based, nonporous, kindly, septuagenarian meddling teenager.

Short List

  • Favorite Athletes

    Reggie Jackson, Randy Johnson, Goose Gossage, A.J. Foyt, Barroid

  • Favorite Sports Teams

    '70s Yankees, late '70s-early '80s Cowboys, Bonds' "'Roid Era" Giants, Vlade-Webber Sacramento Kings

  • All-Time Sports Moment

    "Bucky Dent??!!"

  • Most Memorable Game Attended

    Willie McCovey's last home game -- Candlestick Park, 1980(?)

  • Most Unbreakable Sports Record

    Cy Young -- 511 career wins

  • Ruth or Mays?

    Mays

  • Unitas or Montana?

    Danny White

  • Jordan or Russell?

    I don't watch the NBA

  • Gretzky or Orr?

    I don't watch hockey

  • Pele or Maradona?

    I liked Maradona's earlier bubble-gum stuff, like "Borderline, also I loved "Like A Prayer".

  • Federer or Sampras?

    The Hingis Hamstring Massage

  • Tiger or Nicklaus?

    TIGAWHUH

  • Petty or Earnhardt?

    Ken Squier, breathless, reverent, intoning "The King...chewing on a rag...as he ALWAYS does...", in a voice both hushed and stentorian.

  • Schumacher or Senna?

    The Rich or The Dead? I'll go with the dead.

  • ACC, Big 12, Big East, Big Ten, Pac-12 or SEC?

    There are only so many hours in the day. I can't follow college sports, AND blog, AND drink coffee.

Bulletin Board

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  • Richard Bowler posted 1190 days ago

    Richard Bowler

    Check out my mock draft
    http://bleacherreport.com/articles/343886-nfl-mock-draft-2010-version-20

  • T.A posted 1500 days ago

    T.A

    Check out my list of the top 10 NFL Draft steals in NFL history. Let me know what you think.

    http://bleacherreport.com/articles/154185-top-10-nfl-draft-steal-of-all-time

  • Tim Coughlin posted 1679 days ago

    Tim Coughlin

    Apparently he is someone who demands respect. Or craves it. Can't tell.

  • Tim Coughlin posted 1684 days ago

    Tim Coughlin

    I know what you mean. He is indeed the Roger Goodell of all commissioners, and that's saying something.

  • Tim Coughlin posted 1684 days ago

    Tim Coughlin

    Hey again,

    I hope the new headline is amenable to you, because I think it sets up readers to be in on the joke a little easier. The poll does, too, which is something I hadn't seen before because it doesn't appear in the Editor Queue.

    Now I actually think it works pretty well as a zany humor piece. I think it just took me off-guard last time. You wouldn't believe how many people write out full names every time they mention a player, a coach, or a Roger Goodell.

    -Tim

  • Tim Coughlin posted 1684 days ago

    Tim Coughlin

    Jeff,

    Didn't realize it was your first article. You may revert the changes back.

    In all honesty it was very funny, but only after I thought you had lost your mind or smoked something nasty before posting. I think people will think it's funny, but by the time I figured out your intent I had already edited out all the Roger Goodells, and the article was actually a pretty well-written update without them.

    As for the tags, you may type in anything in the box and if there is a tag in the system it will come up. Give it a go.

    Editorials and humor pieces are valued over breaking news and game recaps here, so in retrospect I should have restored it and re-edited it. I think it would work a lot better if it indicated early on that it was to be a silly article.

    -Tim