2011 Kansas City Chiefs: Eric Berry Tears ACL, out for All of 2011
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http://thoughtsfromthefield.tumblr.com/ Check out my thoughts on all things NFL. Got feedback or thoughts of your own? Let me hear 'em, all are welcomed! Follow me on Twitter too, @FieldYates
Hello my mate.
We help to get Levitra online!
http://upcloseandpolitical.com
Girlfriend will be blithe !
Howdy, tried leaving an editors note and I have a feeling my thoughts were too long, just wanted to leave some helpful advice on your manny piece:
Good read, very enjoyable. The question about why manny dons the dodger blue and jason bay is now with the red sox, that wasn't the question, the question was why did manny wear out his welcome. I tried to keep your voice as best I could but redo that section. You also have a tendency to place an "and" one point too soon in a sentence. Like if you're making 3 points, you say point 1 and point 2 then point 3, it comes off awkward. I have a little more room now, so I can really explain, you state "Manny was a detriment and the management didnt like him due to his bad hitting. Thats kind of a run on sentence or those should be reworded. Take some time to look at the editing sections on the site about prose and keeping things short and concise (as I ramble on). Also, I was a little lost at the point of "It is unfathomable to trade a player of his caliber and chalk the deal up to getting more value in return." I changed the wording a bit (again, I know, I'm sorry), but I think I left the intent alone. I think you need to try to get to the point a little better there overall in that paragraph though on whether you are talking about numbers or a player's marketability to an organization, because I felt a little lost and the article wanders a bit there. Also, when you're not sure of affect/effect, here is a handy tip, use the word impact. I do it all the time when I don't feel like stressing out over it. My mom was an english teacher and I have been traumatized by this stuff am im not 100% sure, but I think it should be affect, so I changed it. Feel free to change back anything you'd like or rearrange what you want. Hope you enjoy. Peace and Love
thanks for the vote
get some articles posted bro!