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Joined about 1 year ago

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Fan of all sports. Favorite teams: Patriots, Celtics, Red Sox, Bruins

Cardinal's Recent Articles

The NBA's Best Left Handed Players

Published about 1 year ago
982 reads 2 comments

Manny Ramirez Heads West

Published about 1 year ago
698 reads 10 comments

James Posey and the Free Spending NBA: A Contract Analyzed

Published about 1 year ago
771 reads 24 comments

Brandon Jennings to Europe: The Start of an NCAA Trend?

Published about 1 year ago
786 reads 10 comments

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The Short List What Cardinal thinks about sport's most pressing questions

Bulletin Board (3) Post a note »

by Todd
about 1 year ago

Howdy, tried leaving an editors note and I have a feeling my thoughts were too long, just wanted to leave some helpful advice on your manny piece:
Good read, very enjoyable. The question about why manny dons the dodger blue and jason bay is now with the red sox, that wasn't the question, the question was why did manny wear out his welcome. I tried to keep your voice as best I could but redo that section. You also have a tendency to place an "and" one point too soon in a sentence. Like if you're making 3 points, you say point 1 and point 2 then point 3, it comes off awkward. I have a little more room now, so I can really explain, you state "Manny was a detriment and the management didnt like him due to his bad hitting. Thats kind of a run on sentence or those should be reworded. Take some time to look at the editing sections on the site about prose and keeping things short and concise (as I ramble on). Also, I was a little lost at the point of "It is unfathomable to trade a player of his caliber and chalk the deal up to getting more value in return." I changed the wording a bit (again, I know, I'm sorry), but I think I left the intent alone. I think you need to try to get to the point a little better there overall in that paragraph though on whether you are talking about numbers or a player's marketability to an organization, because I felt a little lost and the article wanders a bit there. Also, when you're not sure of affect/effect, here is a handy tip, use the word impact. I do it all the time when I don't feel like stressing out over it. My mom was an english teacher and I have been traumatized by this stuff am im not 100% sure, but I think it should be affect, so I changed it. Feel free to change back anything you'd like or rearrange what you want. Hope you enjoy. Peace and Love
by Brett
about 1 year ago

thanks for the vote
by Brett
about 1 year ago

get some articles posted bro!

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Cardinal's Recent Articles

The NBA's Best Left Handed Players

Manny Ramirez Heads West

James Posey and the Free Spending NBA: A Contract Analyzed

Brandon Jennings to Europe: The Start of an NCAA Trend?

Cardinal Writes About

The Short List What Cardinal thinks about sport's most pressing questions

Bulletin Board (3) Post a note »

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