1. David Bentley - A Little Bit of a Concern. So says Lily Allen...

    For those of you who care, I, Weird Dave, am back again, for hopefully another great season of parodies. I don't know if I can go on like this forever, though...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about 5 years ago 206 reads 7 comments

  2. Football Personalities' Answer Machines

    Hi Bleacher Creatures. Today's article's inspiration comes courtesy of Robert Orzechowski. He came up with Tennis players' answerphone messages and so I decided to make some football personalities' answerphone messages...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about 5 years ago 183 reads 13 comments

  3. Tottenham Hotspur: Ruumoured Van Nistelrooy and All Other Pillow Talk

    I just trawled through the Daily Telegraph's (I felt curious today. Get over it)transfer talk page about the Spurs squad. However, three stories were taken from other sources. The rest of them are from the Telegraph's own intensely bored journalists...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 430 reads 5 comments

  4. Parodies: My Favourite FA Cup Moment

    Just ahead of the FA Cup Final today, here I am with my absolute final parody for this season (lucky for you). The roundtable article we were supposed to have hasn't materialised, mainly due to my short notice...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 210 reads 4 comments

  5. Parodies: We Don't Know Who's Going Down

    Couldn't resist writing a parody about the season as a whole. I'm just glossing over a few things in this one. I have a link to the tune below which is abacking track to "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 123 reads 4 comments

  6. EPL Final Weekend: Don't You Just Love This Scrap?

    If there was an award right now called "stating the bloody obvious", I'd win it with this piece, but I felt like writing about it anyway. Stay and read.Don't go hurting my feelings now...(Don't go breakin' ma heart...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 97 reads 17 comments

  7. Tottenham Hotspur: Who's Out the Door This Summer?

    Tottenham have had one of the most turbulent seasons out of any clubs this year.They've experienced 20th place humiliation, losing to Manchester United twice in two months and also ...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 529 reads 1 comments

  8. Tottenham Hotspur V West Brom: Pack Your Baggies

    If you're a West Brom fan reading this, I'm sorry for the headline, but I just thought it was a clever one.Tottenham Hotspur have been deemed the deciders of events on both ends of the league table this season...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 201 reads 3 comments

  9. Parodies: Not Fair (Favouritism and Inconsistencies in a Nutshell)

    I wrote the following parody out of continuing frustration about yesterday's display of utter favouritism and inconsistency with the rules FA officials implement during matches. Especially when dealing with the likes ofManchester United...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 239 reads 2 comments

  10. Manchester United v. Tottenham Hotspur: HOWARDisgusting!

    I have officially had it with the FA! If you don’t like brutal honesty, kindly click on another article because this is going to be the "hard stuff". I’m spitting feathers and as much saliva as a salivating llama...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 361 reads 23 comments

  11. Parodies: Phil Brown - Wearing His Earpiece

    Am I releasing these too quick? Probably. Anyway, I wrote this parody out of curiosity.Hull City's manager, Phil Brown always has this earpiece that he speaks to at every match and I've always ...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 451 reads 18 comments

  12. Parodies: Couldn't I Have Had More Time? (Featuring Alan Shearer)

    Last week, Alan Shearer took the reigns at St. James' Park as manager of his old stomping ground, Newcastle United.To pull Newcastle up above the relegation zone in just eight (now seven) weeks ...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 93 reads 14 comments

  13. Parodies: Rangers V Celtic (Old Firm)

    This is a request from my friend Alex. He's more of a Celtic fan than a Spurs fan (Irish roots - Yes I do know Celtic are a Scottish team). He wanted me to do a parody about the Old Firm. Well here it is...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 231 reads 8 comments

  14. Tottenham Hotspur-Manchester United: Carling "Coup"

    A match to the death was fought long and hard by Spurs, but it wasManchester United who had just done enough through penalties to pry the Carling Cup from their hands and ruin Spurs' chance of saving face this season...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 83 reads 4 comments

  15. Parodies: Cup Final Day (A Carling Cup Special)

    This parody was originally going to be released in Mid-May (FA Cup Final day)but I managed to write another one - It's a surprise, so don't ask ;)This parody is for Carling Cup Final day and ...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 92 reads 4 comments

  16. Parodies: Cars (featuring Crashtiano Ronaldo)

    Yep it's another really late parody, but should still be read.It's about Ronaldo crashing his car on the motorway.Tune: "Here In My Car" by Gary Numan.The lyrics have been INTENTIONALLY filled with broken English to imitate Ronaldo's speech...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 105 reads 2 comments

  17. The English Football Clubs Song: A Parody (The Best One Yet!)

    This is a collection of (hopefully) every single English football club across all five professional divisions (Premiership, Championship, League Two, League One and Blue Square Premier League)...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 1,014 reads 8 comments

  18. Parodies: Bellamy

    This parody is a response to Bellamy recently signing for Manchester City.It's from the perspective of Spurs Manager, Harry Redknapp. He resented Bellamy's move to Eastlands and would have loved to see him in a Spurs shirt...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 83 reads 2 comments

  19. Parodies: That Miss (Darren Bent's Header)

    This parody recaps the terrible miss by Darren Bent against Portsmouthon Sunday, which could so easily have got Spurs the lift they needed and sent them rocketing back up into 12th place in the League...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 354 reads 16 comments

  20. To MEAN-Chester City: Stop Sniffing Around Our Kaka!

    Do players' contracts even exist as legal documents anymore? Or are they merely just something extra to talk about and refer to as "how long I COULD HAVE STAYED at the club?" I ask this following ...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 257 reads 12 comments

  21. Parodies: Back at Spurs (Featuring Jermain Defoe)

    Fresh from the South Coast of Portsmouth,after a lot of "frattonising" (bdoom tsssss) with them(that is a pun, not a spelling mistake),Jermain Defoe has been returned to Spurs where he can make his legendary presence at the Lane known once again...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 154 reads 3 comments

  22. Parodies: Four Goals (Spurs v Burnley)

    This is a parody but also a recap of the Carling Cup Semi-Final (1st Leg) between Spurs and Burnley.It's in the fashion of an immature, deluded Spurs fan.Tune—"Four Kicks" by Kings Of Leon...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 90 reads 5 comments

  23. Parodies: Lineup No. 5 (A Teamtalk for Spurs)

    This one is another parody made up by me for fun.It's got the theme of Harry Redknapp giving a team talk to the squad. The parody even contains a chorus specially written for the fans to chant in the stadium (as if I don't try hard enough anyway)...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 163 reads 10 comments

  24. Hyroglitches: Should Hossam Ghaly Play for Spurs Again?

    Should Hossam (El Sayed) Ghaly play in a Spurs shirt again? If Friday night didn't give you enough of an answer from a proportion of fans, you are probably deaf. No offence...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 363 reads 17 comments

  25. Spurs-Wigan: Tottenham Chutzpah

    FIRST HALF: Tottenham have knocked Wigan out of the third round of the F.A. Cup this evening with a long awaited 3-1 win. The goals were long awaited as well. Wigan showed grit throughout, taking advantage of some criminal Spurs defence episodes...

    David Jacobs Written by David Jacobs about over 5 years ago 242 reads 1 comments