1. Obscene North Carolina-NC State Football Halftime Show Shocks Nation (Satire)

    CHAPEL HILL, NC—Most football game marching bands are content to spell out a few letters, or maybe simple moving geometric shapes. But not this one. Not by a long shot...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about over 3 years ago 2,248 reads 2 comments

  2. Dallas Cowboys 2010 First-Half Debacle Leads To Brown Paper Bag Industry Riches

    DALLAS — Texas grocers no longer even bother to ask, “Paper or plastic?,” because they already know the answer. “Paper. Make it a double...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about over 3 years ago 1,142 reads 1 comments

  3. 2010 Philadelphia Phillies Win NL East: Apologize To Fans For Stress Of Winning

    CITIZENS BANK PARK — The Philadelphia Phillies front office today issued a sincere apology to its legions of die-hard fans...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about almost 4 years ago 369 reads 2 comments

  4. Incensed Tampa Bay Buc Fan Attacks NFL on Live TV Over Dubious Penalty Flags

    TAMPA — This morning, as the whole world watched on TV, an irate Tampa Bay football die-hard supporter fired a metaphorical yet blistering cannonball barrage across the bow of the mighty NFL...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about almost 4 years ago 183 reads 0 comments

  5. Exploding Bats Pose Lethal Threat in MLB: Lawyers Anxious for First Fan Death

    Lethal Threat Somebody at an MLB game is gonna get recklessly killed one day, maybe even today. When it happens, sad to say, lawyers are gonna love it. Perhaps an unfortunate pitcher, base coach, or dugout denizen...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about almost 4 years ago 197 reads 0 comments

  6. Phillies Make Desperation Trade With Ghana Ewes for Critical Mojo

    Trade Chris Wheeler for Voodoo Doctor ST. LOUIS—Here in the final week before the trading deadline, Philadelphia Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about 4 years ago 432 reads 1 comments

  7. LeBron James on Controversial Move to Miami Heat: "Just Kidding, Cleveland!"

    April Fools! CLEVELAND—In possibly the greatest hoax of all time, NBA superstar LeBron James today admitted that his recently announced move to play for the Miami Heat was nothing more than a big April Fools joke...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about 4 years ago 2,584 reads 3 comments

  8. FIFA World Cup Soccer 2010 Rocked America...to Sleep

    After decades desperately trying to make an impact in the United States, the greatest sporting event on Earth—the FIFA World Cup soccer tournament—finally rocked America in 2010...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about 4 years ago 143 reads 0 comments

  9. Shorten MLB Games, Bud Selig, We're Begging You

    Along with famine, disease, pollution, and poverty, one of the world’s most pressing problems is the length of Major League Baseball games. Case in point, 2008 World Series Game 5, which took over 48 hours from beginning to end...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about 4 years ago 150 reads 0 comments

  10. Rampant Player Injuries Lead OSHA To Force Massive NFL Rule Changes For Safety

    League Shutdown Threatened OSHKOSH, Wisc. - The U.S. government’s Occupational Health and Safety Association (OSHA), the nation’s workplace injury watchdog, last month ...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about 4 years ago 849 reads 0 comments

  11. NASCAR To Challenge New Jersey Drivers in Turnpike Shootout Race Next Year

    CHARLOTTE - In what is certain to become the ultimate test for its cars and drivers, NASCAR today announced the addition of a new event to begin next year, the Independence Day Jersey Drive-By Shootout...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about 4 years ago 208 reads 0 comments

  12. LeBron James Stunner: He's Leaving NBA for Irish Step Dancing

    Dancing His First Love CLEVELAND – Although there had been subtle hints in recent years from his TV commercials and pre-game warm-ups, no one expected this...

    Gary Cain Written by Gary Cain about 4 years ago 348 reads 0 comments